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Anyone else-horrible friend

w2bpg

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has ttc turned anyone else into a horrible friend? I have the worst reactions to friends who say they are pregnant, trying, or recently lost a baby. We have been trying for far to long I think
 
Probably a high percentage of us, if we're honest. The thing is though, LTTC does a lot to you physically and mentally and you have to do your best for yourself and hopefully DH too. But if that means you lose people on the way then that's part of it. I haven't been mean to anyone but have made it clear I'm not in a good place and I'm happy for them to leave me be. There are some people on here in a good place though, all considering and they would never lose their friends.
 
I had a real close TTC buddy who was 2 years older then me she got pregnant and we continued to be close throughout her pregnancy but it did really seem like she was rubbing it in my face that she was pregnant and I was not because all she wanted to talk about was the baby and telling me when her baby kicked and all which made me sad that I still was not pregnant. we eventually stopped talking and then I got a surprise BFP and wrote her about it only to be told that she did not want to talk to me anymore and did not want to hear about my TTC.
I lost that pregnancy a week later .her baby is now a toddler. and I am still TTC.
 
I had a real close TTC buddy who was 2 years older then me she got pregnant and we continued to be close throughout her pregnancy but it did really seem like she was rubbing it in my face that she was pregnant and I was not because all she wanted to talk about was the baby and telling me when her baby kicked and all which made me sad that I still was not pregnant. we eventually stopped talking and then I got a surprise BFP and wrote her about it only to be told that she did not want to talk to me anymore and did not want to hear about my TTC.
I lost that pregnancy a week later .her baby is now a toddler. and I am still TTC.

That's awful. I would never treat someone like that. My pregnant friends are keeping their distance and I'm grateful, but I think if I got back in touch they'd welcome me.
 
I've had several friends stop speaking to me, delete me on FB, etc. And I avoid a fair number of friends now. Luckily, my best friend is a gay man. At least he's still my friend and will never accidentally get pregnant. Sigh.
 
I had a real close TTC buddy who was 2 years older then me she got pregnant and we continued to be close throughout her pregnancy but it did really seem like she was rubbing it in my face that she was pregnant and I was not because all she wanted to talk about was the baby and telling me when her baby kicked and all which made me sad that I still was not pregnant. we eventually stopped talking and then I got a surprise BFP and wrote her about it only to be told that she did not want to talk to me anymore and did not want to hear about my TTC.
I lost that pregnancy a week later .her baby is now a toddler. and I am still TTC.

That's awful. I would never treat someone like that. My pregnant friends are keeping their distance and I'm grateful, but I think if I got back in touch they'd welcome me.

well to be completely honest she was mad and holding a grudge because I actually deleted her on facebook because it really made me mad when she was telling me she suddenly dident want her baby because her marriage was ending. .:wacko:
 
I had a real close TTC buddy who was 2 years older then me she got pregnant and we continued to be close throughout her pregnancy but it did really seem like she was rubbing it in my face that she was pregnant and I was not because all she wanted to talk about was the baby and telling me when her baby kicked and all which made me sad that I still was not pregnant. we eventually stopped talking and then I got a surprise BFP and wrote her about it only to be told that she did not want to talk to me anymore and did not want to hear about my TTC.
I lost that pregnancy a week later .her baby is now a toddler. and I am still TTC.

That's awful. I would never treat someone like that. My pregnant friends are keeping their distance and I'm grateful, but I think if I got back in touch they'd welcome me.

well to be completely honest she was mad and holding a grudge because I actually deleted her on facebook because it really made me mad when she was telling me she suddenly dident want her baby because her marriage was ending. .:wacko:

People take FB way too seriously! So what if you deleted her off, it's not like you're all of a sudden not friends with her anymore. You just don't feel the need to keep up with her life at the moment. Sorry to hear she couldn't rise above it and see where you were coming from. But that's the action we expect from fertile women.

I know how you feel my SIL got all bent out of shape when I deleted her off FB. We still aren't speaking because of the snarky comments she made about me.

OP- Your behavior is normal for a LTTC. I cry (not tears of joy) when a pregnancy announcement is made. Or just don't congratulate them, but that's as nasty as I get.

I've gotten to the point of where I hardly have friends. I have nothing in common with the ones who have children or the newly pregnant ones. Pretty sad, but at least I don't have to worry about them saying unhelpful things about IF or listen to them drag on and on about their baby. :wacko: It sucks, but it's better this way, at least for my sanity.
 
Its alright I wrote her back and apologised for contacting her and then deleted her again. sorry to hear about your sister in law.
 
I've come up with a great excuse that I've deleted friends who are in town and kept those who are long distance that I need to keep up with...this means I delete most of flaunty preggos. It's worked well, haha. Gawd I hate Facebook for baby announcements. :dohh:

I have 2 really close friends who have had babies but I'm still very close to. However, they have known me for over 15 years and know what to say and when to say it. I'm losing touch with two other friends who are pregnant because they're just too insensitive and flaunty.

You are not alone. I look at it like life's natural progression. When I got married I unfortunately lost a few good friends, single friends, because I didn't have much in common with them. I ended up closer to those who were married. This is just another step in life.

:hugs:
 
I've come up with a great excuse that I've deleted friends who are in town and kept those who are long distance that I need to keep up with...this means I delete most of flaunty preggos. It's worked well, haha. Gawd I hate Facebook for baby announcements. :dohh:

I have 2 really close friends who have had babies but I'm still very close to. However, they have known me for over 15 years and know what to say and when to say it. I'm losing touch with two other friends who are pregnant because they're just too insensitive and flaunty.

You are not alone. I look at it like life's natural progression. When I got married I unfortunately lost a few good friends, single friends, because I didn't have much in common with them. I ended up closer to those who were married. This is just another step in life.

:hugs:

Love your excuse to delete people off facebook. i've lost friends that have become pregnant because they flaunt it even though they know i'm ttc. my best friend has been great. i'm glad i haven't told many people i'm lttc think people's comments would do my head in but doesn't stop me getting jealous when friends or relatives become pregnant
 
I just hide people from my feed so that they're baby app feeds don't pop up unexpectedly when I'm having a bad day, but I can still go and look and see what's going on when I'm having a better day, and the best bit is they never know :)
 
I deleted all my family off fb. But I didn't tell them instead I just said I shut it down. I have a big family and a ton of cousins, they all have kids and they would comment on my pics of when was I going to have kids etc. They don't have a filter ( cause its family) and all the dumb comments got to me. They don't know about ttc and I didn't feel like explaining why I haven't started a family. Most friends might wonder but they don't ask which is fine by me. I agree fb isn't the greatest.
 
I'm actually ok wth friends announcing pregnancies.....BUT when they start complaining about symptoms and then needing alone time once baby is here..i loose them pretty fast!!!
i just want to scream at them.... "be thankful you are so sick bcause you have a baby growing inside you..and be thankful you have a healthy baby to take care of"..... grrrrrr.
 
Most of my friends are aware of our situation so are very understanding. My best friend got pg after 3 months which was hard to take because we had already been trying for a year at that point :(
I react differently when people tell me they are pg too. I find it really hard to be happy for someone when they say they are pg. I feel awful about it but i cant help how i feel. I mostly just feel bitterness and a little resentment like why them?!!!

Facebook is the devil when TTC. I hate announcements where i feel like i have to put congratulations on when i really wanna write 'arrrrrrr not you as well!!!!'
One of my biggest pet hates is scan photos on facebook!! I hate it and putting a picture of the inside of my body showing my growing baby is something i don't think i will ever do. Proper makes me cringe!! Just my opinion tho xxx
 
There are some people on here in a good place though, all considering and they would never lose their friends.
 

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