anyone else not a laid back mum (routine etc)?

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by fingers_cross, Jun 9, 2013.

  1. fingers_cross

    fingers_cross Well-Known Member

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    im really not when it comes to his routine. I always make sure im back home for his naps and for his feeds and solids (dont mind giving a feed outside though if need be). i can tell my sister and mum are getting annoyed by it. like for example today my sister is selling some of her stuff at a car boot at market and i called mum (not knowing she was with her) to ask if she wanted to pop up to see her and my sister said "why not just get the bus up?" i said no hes too fussy (which he is at times) for the bus. she knew it was cuz of his routine though. it was 8.30am when i called her, he has a feed and nap at 10am. how on earth am i meant to get myself up (wasnt properly up and dressed yet), all ready to leave, get bus (15-20 min journey) and back. she doesnt get it at all. she doesnt have any children and shes way more of a control freak than me and i can imagine that she wil be pretty controlling with routine etc (could be wrong though!). they way i see it is it will only be like this for a little while and he wont be needing bottles and lots of naps, and it doesnt bother me and means he goes down so much better at night. if he doesnt get his naps (he doesnt nap well in the pram) hes a nightmare all day and its me that has to deal with it (single mum). i wish sometimes people would just leave me be!! :( sorry rant over.x
     
  2. Lois22

    Lois22 Mum to Emilia

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    Nope afraid not Emilia has never had a routine apart from food and bottles. I give her them anywhere though. She sleeps when she wants to. I'm all for baby fits in with your life not yours in baby's as such xx
     
  3. Dragonfly

    Dragonfly Mother of 4

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    Routine or not its not that easy to just drop everything and be somewhere with a baby. I never had a routine, they had their own and even that would interfere.
     
  4. kettle28

    kettle28 finally in 3rd tri!!

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    I'm the same :) dh works away mon-fri so just me on weekdays/nights and I do weekend nights as dh drives a LOT and want him well rested not nodding off on the motorway!!

    If lo naps poorly he's a nightmare to get to sleep and then he's up every 1-2 hrs so I'm the same, I protect his naps (which he only does well at home), my true pals get it completely and don't mind a bit, the whingy ones? Hmmm, we don't spend much time with them at the moment!!

    Just you ignore family giving you grief, I didn't yesterday got guilted into taking lo to BBQ effort about 1/2 hr before his bedtime and he was awake for 4 hours and had to have a car ride to get to sleep! Never again!
     
  5. Button#

    Button# Well-Known Member

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    Wss. My OH planned to see his brother this morning and take LO out to a museum after his nap this afternoon. LO decided to have a 2 hour party last night so we all overslept and OH has ended up taking his brother with him and LO to the museum this morning because he won't have time after his nap. Luckily his brother was happy to go along!

    I used to let him nap anywhere but since he dropped to one nap I've tried to make sure we're home for it (not at the same time but within a range) so he gets his two hours.
     
  6. wifey29

    wifey29 Mummy to two boys :)

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    My LO picked his own routine and it works really well for us. I do make sure he gets his naps, but he'll eat food anywhere. He only has one bottle during the daytime, but he has always had trouble taking it anywhere but at home. He won't let anyone else but me feed him which is a pain at times, although having said that he has just started wanting to fed it to himself and does so in the pushchair while we're out which is amazing! We off to a family party later and his bottle will be due while we're there, I'm not sure if he'll take it or not, so have filled him up on yoghurt and cheese this morning in case he doesn't. I have also made sure that he had a late ish nap so that if he misses this afternoons it won't be too much of a problem.
     
  7. AngelUK

    AngelUK Mummy of twin boys

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    Same for us. We only have one "window" when we are willing to go out of the house which is after the afternoon nap till shortly before their dinner time which is at 6:30. We don't mind taking their 3pm milk bottle/ sippy with us and they love being out and about. But we are not willing to infringe on their nap and bed times at all. We have found to our cost that deviating from the sacrosanct nap and bed times results in very unhappy whiney boys who sleep badly at night. But since they are our dearest wish come true and the greatest joy imaginable to us, we do not miss having more of a social life. :cloud9:
     
  8. LDC

    LDC Well-Known Member

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    I like to stick to our routine but if something comes up or I need to go somewhere then I won't not do something because of lo. Like last night was my cousins 40th, we went at 7:15pm and left at 10pm. Lo got a little grumpy but was fine and still slept well and I'm glad we went. I'm not out very much at all but I'm not going to miss that because of lo, tbh I'd have gone and met my family and got on the bus.

    X
     
  9. Twister

    Twister Well-Known Member

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    I never really implanted a routine, it kind of just happened on its own but now we she has one I don't really like deviating from it too much. I don't mind feeding when out and about but naps are a different story, its so much more challenging getting her to sleep when out, she gets to stimulated. Yesterday we went on a picnic with the in laws and she missed her afternoon nap and only slept 20minutes in the car on the way back. Incidentally she didn't sleep great last night, she usually wakes once or twice but last night was up 3/4 times because she was over tired. At bedtime MIL tried to persuade me to let LO stay up longer but I wasn't having any of it, she's not the one who has to get up through the night with her lol!

    I guess I don't mind it happening every once in a while but I try and keep it from happening on a regular basis.
     
  10. hubblybubbly

    hubblybubbly Well-Known Member

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    I am regimented with nap and bedtime (although can be within an hour late if needed...no more), she also has to nap and go down at night in her own cot. I've tried getting her to sleep anywhere else to no avail, she's never been one to fall asleep in strange places, noisy places, her pram etc. thus I've learnt it's best for her to stick to morning out And about, home for nap, out again in the afternoon and back home for bed, not doing this leads to huge meltdowns, tears, and even worse night sleep, followed by a grumpy day the next day.

    I would love to have a baby who fits in with my life and falls beautifully into their own routine, sleeps when tired wherever they are etc rather than the other way round, but I got an easily overstimulated, tetchy one who needs structure!

    Do what's best for you and lo, no one else whether they have children or not will ever understand the minutiae of your life!
     
  11. misspriss

    misspriss Well-Known Member

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    I don't have a routine right now, but I have a feeling after I start work again he may fall into a routine.

    Right now, he is still at the "sleep pretty much all the time you aren't eating" stage, unless someone keeps him up. So I can go out, he will sleep in the car, he will sleep in the carrier, going places is like one long nap with a few short interruptions to change from car seat to carrier and back again.

    So if you asked me how many 'naps' he had, I couldn't tell you, just that he sleeps when he isn't eating usually...and I definitely couldn't tell you what time they were!
     
  12. crissyj

    crissyj Well-Known Member

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    I have a routine but it isn't rigid, we are a family that likes to get out of the house on weekends and visit people and go camping and to events so I stick to having naps at the same times but they aren't always at home, same with feeds. Every family is different so if a very structured routine works for you then that's great!
     
  13. Louise88

    Louise88 Dd- ciara and ds- James

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    I stick with routine it works for me however I won't let it get in the way if say a friend has a BBQ then il go and dump routine for the day or if i want a day out somewhere to the beach etc. I used to be laid back let my daughter choose when to sleep eat etc. and it ended up causing problems as she started forcing herself to stay awake during the day and ended up over tired to the point I was tearing my hair out! Placing a routine just made motherhood easier for me I just wish I'd started the routine sooner! When she gets looked after only MIL sticks with her routine no one else does but I understand why they wouldn't because their babysitting for free so why plan there day around Ciara when they can include Ciara into there's wether they want to go shopping to the beach etc. and not be in a rush to get her back for naps etc. it would just ruin their day. That's just personally how I do it and wouldn't judge anyone's routine or no routine with their babies/children.
     
  14. cupcaker

    cupcaker Well-Known Member

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    I do understand! I don't really care about much to do with routines, but I do with bedtime. Prior to being pregnant, we spent almost every Friday night at the in-laws. I get on really well with them, so not too much of an issue most of the time. But sometimes after a hard week I just wanted to slump at home on Friday evening. Plus sometimes I just found it bloody boring!

    When I became pregnant, the routine pretty much continued. There were a few arguements about it with OH when I was tired and didn't want dragging there again even if it is only 5 mins away and albeit petty, I f*$ing hated their uncomfortable sofas!!! :haha: but.... 'the end was in sight'.... that when I had my baby, this couldn't possibly continue each Friday?!!

    Well buggar me, it is still happening and I HATE IT...the same thing but with a baby in tow!! I've just about got my baby into a great bedtime routine and all I do is clock watch and get tetchy when I'm there on Fridays. I wouldn't care, but I make sure MIL gets time with baby in the week (day time) so they are certainly not deprived of seeing him.

    This week he went through a grumpy phase and fell asleep right on cue when at their house. I managed to slip into conversation that he was "right on cue for falling asleep and being grumpy" as we do actually have a system at home. I told my MIL the times and routines in the hope she might realize both baby and I find this Friday lark a bit stressful. Trouble is, OH is just as bad because HE wants to go there, so he's hardly going to help.

    I'm not holding my breath. He is a 'pass the parcel' whilst there, and I know I am being sensitive about it, and I reeeealllly try not to be, but it pisses me off! I feel like saying he's not some novelty thing. If I am holding him or feeding him whilst there, I can feel a very slight atmosphere..like they can't cope with me having him, THEY want him to hold.


    I feel really unreasonable though, and am not naive that I can live my life in a constant 'routine' with him. But it does piss me off because why can't they offer to come here rather than the faff of going there every sodding week!!! That would surely be a halfway point but I am a little scared to suggest it x
     
  15. Indi84

    Indi84 Well-Known Member

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    I'm sort of half and half, i always am home for bedtime, he must be in bed by seven at the latest! food is just fed whenever, though bottles are around every four hours, and meals inbetween that, he's started dropping a bottle now though. if I'm home he must be in bed every two hours, always, but if I'm out for the day then we go with it. i always get a battle on my hands, he only sleeps in his cot but i can't spend my life indoors! generally though, i don't plan things unless it's an 'awake time'
     
  16. Jendra

    Jendra Well-Known Member

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    My baby is still pretty young (9 1/2 weeks) and a routine is developing, just trying to see what LO does and then work with it. I'll take him out when he'll need to eat or sleep, and then he does those things in the stroller. I really want him to adapt rather than revolve all my doings around him. So far so good, though obviously doing things at home will always be easier.
     

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