Anyone else not really cut out for NTNP?

[Menelly]

We're looking at trying soon for our daughter's sibling, and my DH is all "let's just see what happens!"

Uh, that might kill me. I chart. I count days. I've noticed things like my CM and how it relates to fertility for YEARS even when I'm not actively trying. And you want me to forget all that for now? To just "see what happens"? Uh... not gonna happen!

But I can obsess on here instead. Right?

 

[Andi86]

I think its hard to "just see what happens" for the woman. My DH and I are NTNP, he thinks we should just let it happen on its own too because he doesn't want the stress and pressure of trying. Which I agree I don't either, but its hard not to stress about it for me. Although he might have no clue when I'm ovulating, I still know when I can possibly get pregnant and when I probably won't. Plus I want to keep track of my cycle because I was on the pill for 11 years and have never really known what my body is like off the pill. And If I am late I would like to know. So although we are NTNP, I keep track of my cycle, I'm just not taking my temp and using OPK's. Also as hard as it is, because I think about it all the time, I try not to talk about wanting a baby to my DH, as I don't want to make him feel pressured. He knows I want one really bad so I won't keep reminding him lol. Yes its alright to obsess here, that's what I do since I found this website.

 

[hayleyttcbb1]

I agree its hard to forget what u learn haha im ntnp after serious ttc chucked out temping and dont use opks now my body teases me in other ways i get a lil sharp pain when ovulating hard to not obsess but here is def the best place to do it

 

[Matin]

Wondering if I'm cut out for NTNP as well. I've been charting since I learned FAM(months before the wedding even though we waited to BD after) and set out this time to not temp & not do so much including worrying, POAS and getting depressed over BFNs. Honestly, my age(42) has me kind of freaked out(even though many women in my family have had children in their 40s) so my "plan" is to be a bit more seductive/receptive during my fertile time(LOL), try Vitex and grapefruit juice, be generally healthier: more exercise,sleeping a bit more, more hydration, no coffee at all(grrr), no dehydrating antihistamines during fert days.

I agree that it's waaaay easier for the man to be laid-back and NTNP. We were actually avoiding pg(DH's idea) for quite a while, so I don't want to get all hysterical like I was TTC#1. Don't want to throw him off.

 

[brandonsgirl]

I think it's easier for the guys to say 'lets just see what happens' because they don't feel and know what goes on with our bodies within a month. We pick up on ovulation signs and twinges etc, whereas they don't. They just get to have a lot of sex lol.

 

[Menelly]

I think it's easier for the guys to say 'lets just see what happens' because they don't feel and know what goes on with our bodies within a month. We pick up on ovulation signs and twinges etc, whereas they don't. They just get to have a lot of sex lol.

Haha, this is true! My hubby is a smart guy, though. He may pick up on the fact that he gets laid a lot more one week than any other week.

 

[brandonsgirl]

Lol... we do it almost every day. Apart from the few days in between when i'm either sore or really tired. But I think i'm close to ovulating so have been trying to do it a little more often. I'm pretty sure OH doesn't mind lmao.

 

[WantsALittle1]

I felt the same but I think it really is possible, especially when you have another LO to focus on! After being NTNP for about a week, I feel like I'm actually not cut out for official TTC. I was an obsessive CM-surveyor and after I got my BFP, I did 30-40 confirmation tests. I just don't think I can handle TTC, and I don't think my DH can handle me not handling it

We know we are trying, and that it's just a fun game to call it 'not trying,' but for some reason it really has taken the pressure off. I am charting and will start CM, but I'm not doing the tickers (which laboriously count down to O and testing dates), and I am not making a million posts like I did last year when we were trying for DD #1. I'm not even going to test before my period is due Last year I got my BFP at 8 DPO. Iunno, I am kinda glad we are taking a new approach. I would like this time around to be anxiety-free... if such a thing is possible!

 

[unobump]

Wow. Nice to find some like minded people. My hubby and I agreed to 'see what happens'. In his head we are seeing what happens. In mine we're TTC.

I don't like the pressure TTC may inevitably bring. The TTC forums can be scary places! I cant waste the next god knows how long obsessing about "symptoms". And OH may disown me if i do.

Perhaps its about striking a happy medium. Although so much easier said than done....!

 

[Flutterbyex]

Haha!! This sounds just like me! So has agreed (after a year of hints and asking) for me to come off bc pill and see what happens!
I'm secretly hoping and praying to fall pregnant ASAP and although I don't do charting opks etc I'm keeping track of my cycles and cm etc!
All I can say is THANK GOD for this site and all the lovely ladies that keep me sane!
Xx

 

[OurLilFlu]

Hey ladies, I have no idea what you'd call our situation but in nov/dec I screwed up taking my bcp and with all the hormone switches I was convinced I was pg. turns out it was just adjusting to my own hormones. Anyways, I decided I didn't want that crap screwing my body up anymore and the bf was all for it. I said I would chart as preventing and I have left the pulling out part up to him. He has only done so once and I have been doing an ok job at avoiding fertile days. When we talk about it he wants to WTT until we have a house etc and more financially stable but like I said before he makes no effort to prevent and consistently jokes about wanting a baby, telling me to stop 'teasing' him with pg symptoms...
So what is that called lol denial?? About wanting to try!?

 

[brandonsgirl]

Maybe he's scared to openly admit that he does want a baby. If he says 'in the future', to him it doesn't mean right now so he doesn't have to face it? Iykwim. As long as you know he would be 100% ok if you we're to fall pregnant now then doing what your doing is fine. But if he thinks your taking some precautions and that its highly unlikely for you to fall pregnant, maybe you should speak to him and make sure NTNP is what he wants. So your both on the same page.

 

[OurLilFlu]

Oh he def wants one now, in Dec i was utterly convinced i was pg and after 3 i went for bloodwork, opening the neg result made us both tear up.
otherwise, he'll even ask my somedays if we can have a baby and I'm like YES! Lets go! Lol or he'll say things like well I've been trying to slip one past the goalie, even to our friends who are pg now.lol I think if this cycle is a bust I'm gonna have to get him to be a bit clearer and hopefully officially ntnp.

 

[brandonsgirl]

Good luck with everything huni

 

[Mei]

I am actually very happy with NTNP, though I would also be happy with full on TTC. My big issue is that my husband agreed, but is utterly terrified. It was a huge achievement to simply get him to use the pull out method.
I'm trying to respect that he is scared, but it took us 7years to get engaged, I know it takes him forever to finally accept big changes.
Plus, I kinda feel like my needs/desires don't matter because his fear is ruling our sex life.
Is anyone else experiencing something like this? Or has any advice?????

 

[Menelly]

Well, I (personally) gave up on the NTNP and am tracking my cycle and such, but I'm trying to be quiet about it with hubby cause he's getting "stage fright" at times too. Which is frustrating and unsatisfying.

 

[Momof2TTC]

My OH is on board with 'trying' but in his mind that only goes as far as BD as much as we can and hoping it works. In my mind, I'm temping, checking CM and charting. What they don't know won't hurt them.

 

[brandonsgirl]

My OH is on board with 'trying' but in his mind that only goes as far as BD as much as we can and hoping it works. In my mind, I'm temping, checking CM and charting. What they don't know won't hurt them.

I'm the same as you. My OH knows i'm charting and checking cm etc, and that i'm going to start temping. But to him he is just going to have sex and see what happens. To me, i'm trying to track every change in my body lol. I think its just easier for us women to get set in noticing little changes, whereas with guys they just get to lol.

 

[MamaWestWind]

What a great thread. I guess I'm another one who's officially just seeing what happens without birth control and internally calculating ovulation. I think it's more a matter of the "don't think about a purple cow!" thing for me. Meaning that trying NOT to think about something is more or less impossible.

But I don't actually want to get pregnant yet. I know it's asking for trouble to be this specific about things that are in Mother Nature's hands, but I'd like to get pregnant in June, July, or August because that would give me what I see as the ideal delivery date. I know. But this is where we let our obsessions all hang out, right?