Anyone nervous about TTC after complications in a previous pregnancy?

[Flower15]

Hiya,

Just looking for a bit of advice really...

This is our first month of trying for baby number 2 after having the implant removed over a month ago. Really excited, yet as AF is coming to an end and we are about to start trying I just feel really nervous and stressed. My little one is 18 months old now, I really want a small age gap, but Im so scared that I will have complications like I did when I was pregnant with her. My Blood pressure got ridiculously high at 37 weeks, so ended up in hospital (pregnancy induced hypertension), I was allowed home to take it easy with medication but had to go to hospital every other day to be checked then was induced at 40 weeks as they were scared it would turn into pre-eclampsia. I then ended up losing too much blood in delivery and had to have a blood transfusion. Im just nervous it will happen again. I just dont want DD to suffer if I end up ill again, on bed rest or back in hospital

Is anyone else trying for another after having complications? Or has anyone had a successful second pregnancy after a complicated first one?

I would love a little sibling for DD and I am really excited, I just dont want DD to suffer

Thanks x

Sorry about the length, its been in the back of my mind all day!

 

[ShamzLovesKai]

I understand exactly what you mean. I didn't so much have a horrible pregnancy it was the birth. Although, I had severe backaches and really bad hip pain (some days i couldn't get out of bed) during my pregnancy. A few weeks before I went into labour i was at the hospital every week because of weird pains and my hind waters went the week before so was at the hospital quite a lot, prior. Then i was in labour for 47 hours, very slow then came time to push and was pushing for 2 hours but nothing. They checked bubba and his head was down but body was twisted. That lead to an emergency section and was in the delivery room for longer than normal. Bubba was fine but I lost a lot of blood so had to have a lot of blood transfusions like you, loads of scans and had to stay in the hospital for just under a week.

I'm terrified this sort of thing will happen again and LO will suffer. I hate being away from him for a couple days let a lone a long time in hospital.
I cant wait to give him a brother or sister but like you said, scared he will suffer

 

[Flower15]

Seriously thankyou for this post, nice to know Im not the only one.
Im in such a dilemma, excited about the prospect of pregnancy and giving LO a sibling, but I just dont want LO to suffer, it i'm in and out of hospital. I just want a textbook pregnancy and birth, home a couple of hours after delivering and be able to enjoy bump and LO before hand, this would be ideal haha. I keep moaning to OH and worrying and he just thinks it will all be ok, and if I keep worrying I will raise my blood pressure already. Ive not put much thought into it until now, as I loved being pregnant, but now TTC date is here, I just feel guilty and worried!

I hate leaving LO too, Ive not even left her overnight yet! My Mum takes her for a day out once a month and although I enjoy time to catch up on housework and time with OH, I cant wait to get her back at the end of the day

Would you opt for a Csection second time round? Im guessing you will get to chose why you already had one? x

 

[qpmomma]

I understand! I had a rough pregnancy with my first and the delivery was bad too. We got preg in January but weren't trying. We lost the baby at 6 weeks. I know know I want another baby! I am so scared I will miscarry again. I am also scared I will have a pregnancy and birth like I had before. I am doing a lot of meditation and visualizing a healthy pregnancy and baby and it helps calm my nerves. I can't wait for my next cycle!

 

[Tulip]

Nervous about pregnancy in general as we had to TFMR our first baby due to a fatal condition. Second pregnancy was smooth going though, and birth ok apart from some damage. I don't think I'll be able to relax at any point!

 

[Flower15]

Thanks everyone. Im just even more nervous this next time round as its not just about me and the new baby like before as I already have a LO. QPmomma and Tulip, Im really sorry for both your losses, hope you both get sticky beans and soon this time round. Think I just need to think positively, Im already feeling stressed Nice to know that Im not the only one, just dont want to miss out on DD with pregnancy complications! x

 

[ShamzLovesKai]

I was told that I would have to have a section again with every pregnancy I had after.. I didn't like the thought at first but I've done it already and means I dont go through the contractions etc haha but wish I didn't have to still. Where I had such a long labour and was pushing etc for ages I was gutted when I was told I had to have a section. I felt like I went through all of that for no reason, you know what I mean? Where I was told straight after I've got my head around not having a vaginal birth I guess.. Means I would have to be in hospital for longer though. I hope it's not as long as #1

 

[ShamzLovesKai]

Sorry for your losses ladies xxx

 

[bumpin2012]

your definitely not the only one. I was ill pretty much daily until the day I delivered. DS stopped growing for no clear reason at 36 weeks, 3 weeks of slow prodromal labour and a partial placental abruption. DS is currently being assessed for a possible hearing impairment, which I think is directly related to the issues I had in the last 5 weeks of pregnancy.

 

[Flower15]

ShamzlovesKai - Your labour does sound pretty horrendous! My labour itself werent too bad, just the before and after part. Least this time you know already that you will need a Csect so hopefully next time it should be a pleasant experience as you will get a date to go in etc, which would be pretty exciting and I know its a longer recorvery, which is hard with a toddler, but you can make the most of being looked after and just resting and bonding with your LOs x

Bumpin 2012 - I hope we both have smoother pregnancies next time. Im really sorry to hear about your LOs hearing, wishing him all the best. Next time Im thinking we should be monitored more closely why we had complications this time? When are you aiming to start TTC number two? x

 

[Rozzer]

Im really nervous about having another baby too - I felt crappy my whole pregnancy, got admitted to hospital at 28+3 with burning pain in my liver and low platelets (I had HELLP syndrome, a variant of pre-eclampsia), had 2 courses of steroids before my darling baby boy was born at 29+1 by emergency c-section at 2 pds 7 oz.

We were in nicu for 68 days, he came home 8 days before his due date, being able to breast feed ( as I pumped for 8 weeks+) and on oxygen, which he had until Christmas.

He is a perfect little boy now, apart from ongoing lung issues which saw him admitted to hospital at least 12 times over last winter.

I've been told there is a 25% chance of it happening again, and it's taken a long time to get around to wanting another child. I have so many pills to take to try to avoid another early baby, but I still get nervous...

 

[ShamzLovesKai]

Flower15 - Aww yeah, I didn't look at it that way! I recovered quite quickly before. I was up and walking normally, 2 days after op so not to bad. Obviously wasn't properly recovered but you know what I mean

 

[ShamzLovesKai]

Rozzer - Ah that does sound bad. Glad you and LO are fine now. Must of been a stressful time and to know its a 25% chance it may happen again must be scary. You got through it the 1st time though so you know your strong enough to do it again (Hopefully you wont have to) x

 

[frsttimemama]

I'm really nervous (excited, but nervous!) as I had a smooth pregnancy with no major problems, and I was induced. No big deal until my water broke. I wound up with an emergency C-section, and our son didn't make it because of the way that his cord was attached to my placenta. We never had a clue. It was a freak and tragic thing as he was completely perfect aside from the cord connection problem. I already know I'll be having C-sections with any subsequent pregnancies, and I'm completely fine with that. I just know that I will be worried until the pregnancy is over with anymore that we have.

 

[bumpin2012]

Bumpin 2012 - I hope we both have smoother pregnancies next time. Im really sorry to hear about your LOs hearing, wishing him all the best. Next time Im thinking we should be monitored more closely why we had complications this time? When are you aiming to start TTC number two? x

Thank you. I have no idea how closely im going to be monitored. Its something I plan on asking my OB when I see her. We are NTNP now, but I am kinda hoping that we don't fall until September, as DS sees a specialist early sept, and it would be nice to know whats going on with him.

I'm really nervous (excited, but nervous!) as I had a smooth pregnancy with no major problems, and I was induced. No big deal until my water broke. I wound up with an emergency C-section, and our son didn't make it because of the way that his cord was attached to my placenta. We never had a clue. It was a freak and tragic thing as he was completely perfect aside from the cord connection problem. I already know I'll be having C-sections with any subsequent pregnancies, and I'm completely fine with that. I just know that I will be worried until the pregnancy is over with anymore that we have.

Im so very sorry to hear about your loss. Is this something that your OB can monitor?

 

[frsttimemama]

We are not pregnant yet, but yes, it is something that can be checked for and monitored if they are aware of it. It is very unlikely to happen again, but we won't take any chances for sure.

 

[Gingerspice]

The pregnancy was ok for me, but we had a terrible birth and after care was really lacking. It resulted in complaints to the hospital and despite OH driving home at 7am to get some sleep, thinking I was being cared for (after I had been in labour for 3 days and he hadn't slept since 2 nights before. ) but instead despite being told not to get off my bed as i'd lost over 2 litres of blood they feared me blacking out if I got down, nobody responded to my buzzer. My LO was left out of reach and she was screaming. It was a nightmare, and I had an episiotomy with no pain relief as they'd taken the gas and air away 4 hours beforehand as they thought it had slowed things. I can still hear my screaming now with them cutting me!

I ended up getting OH to drive back to me as I was completely ignored and never did get a wash until the following morning - 36 hours after LO arrived despite my mess everywhere, and LO had poo-ed on me 3 times everywhere. All round aftercare completely lacked.

I said never again to OH. Even he said never again initially as he nearly passed outwhen they cut me (he stood business end!)

Its taken over a year of nagging for me to realise we really should have another.(LO is now 3.5 years!) I am still very hesitant and I've put a deadline on it so I can handle it knowing if it hasn't by x then thats us done so the fear isn't completely shadowing me for years.