Anyone realised that their marriage is over and scared to cope alone with baby??

[lulu7]

I've realised I have to end my marriage. He has changed drastically since dd born. I already have ds and dd from previous marriage. My husband loves our daughter but is selfish, enjoys a single life really and is basically very nasty to me. I can't go on but I'm terrified I will be alone forever. Who would want 3 kids from 2 different men. I don't trust my own judgement anymore and feel I've made a horrendous mess of my life. My children are all I've got but what example have I set them by bring so disastrous. I try hard, I kno I'm a great mum, I work full time and spend all free time with my children. I just wish I wasn't so lonely and that I had someone who loves me for me and wants to be around. What is wrong with me. How will I cope with 3 children and work and keep a smile on my face for them !!!

 

[cat_reversing]

hey, sorry to hear you're finding things difficult.
Only you know if the time is truely right to separate from baby's dad, but i'd urge you not to make any hasty decisions, how old is baby?
Is there any hope to saving your marriage, anyone who could have a word with oh and help him see that's he's being unreasonable?
Maybe he's having a hard time adjusting to having a child and just can't get his head round the responsibilty, maybe he's just not coping well and could get some help with that.
things haven't gone to plan but doesn't mean they can't be better for you and your kids in the future so don't give yourself a hard time.

 

[lulu7]

Hi thanks for your reply. The baby is 3 months. We tried hard for her, I suffered 3 miscarriages before. His mum and sister have tried speaking to him. No one can understand his selfish behaviour. I've tried talking to him a billion times but he just says I'm a nag! I'm so unhappy .

 

[cat_reversing]

seems it really is crunch time then. have you thought about the practicalities of not being with him and do you have the support in place to help you cope with your 3 kids?
what about writing him a letter telling him how unhappy you are, in these situations calm communication is key. if he's the kind of man that clams up if you talk at him too much this can give him time to mull over what you've said and maybe he'll realise what's at stake and stop behaving badly.
is there an older man who could talk to him, a dad/uncle/grandfather/close family friend who understands that being a parent is hard and could help him see things clearer?

 

[Kellen]

I can't pretend to understand the situation, but perhaps I can offer you a bit of hope. My sister has 3 children from 2 different husbands and is married to her third - with whom she has no children. This man loves her and her children so much. Her second two consider him their daddy. So it is possible to find someone who will want to love you and take care of not only you, but also your lovely children. I know you're in a dark place now, but there is always hope. I pray your OH comes to his senses, but if you need to leave so that you and your children can flourish then know that there is still hope.

 

[justmeinlove]

Plus just to add, you said you spend all your free time with your children but do you spend any time together?