Are 5 year olds harder than 3 year olds, or is it just my kid?

[SarahBear]

So it's supposed to be:

• Terrible Twos
• Threenagers
• F*ck Fours
• Fantastic Fives

But My experience is:

• Terrific Twos
• Threenagers
• F*ck fours
• Just started fives, but similar to fours

Now, I haven't experienced "normal" parenting of a four or five year old though because four is when my daughter developed epilepsy. Even the last half of 3 probably wasn't normal because her brain was probably experiencing "static" that was building toward seizures. The epilepsy can cause behavior issues as can the medicine and the trauma of hospitalization. I thought things were balancing out, but lately her behavior is getting worse. Her emotional regulation in general is going haywire and she's having more tantrums. I feel like there's a normal element to her behavior in terms of 5 year olds having a bit more of an attitude compared to 4 year olds, but the level of dysregulation of emotions doesn't feel normal. My younger child will sometimes imitate her, but the behaviors don't last because he responds appropriately to the discipline and the behaviors aren't worth while for him. Oy... We're getting back into routine after winter break which means that her medicine doses will be more regular. Hopefully that helps. They had been a little off due to sleeping in, but I can't imagine that's the whole story of what's going on...

 

[mayb_baby]

I have no experience of a child with epilepsy, we found 5 harder than 4.
Attitude, temper and just not being able to regulate his emotions but I have found 6-7 a lot easier. I know I'm not much help but sending some hope

 

[Eleanor ace]

DS:
Wonderful one
(slightly) terrible two's
Threenager
Fantastic four
Fantastic-er five
Sullen six. He is at his most difficult now.

DD1:
Awful one
Shoot me now two's
What's this, not awful, maybe...? Threes
Fantastic fours

DD2
Wonderful one
Jesus God help me two's...

Don't judge my ability to rhyme/use simple alliteration, my brain has been destroyed by my biggest and littlest terrors

 

[Zephram]

There have been so many threads on here lately about people finding their five year olds difficult - it’s definitely a theme.

My five year old is definitely more difficult than he was a year ago. He’s very headstrong and obstinate and he wants to be independent a lot of the time which causes us to butt heads as whether he’s five or not he still has to brush his teeth, etc, at certain times of the day - just one example. They get a fair bit of independence at school and i think all the changes with starting school around this age really throw them.

My DS1 was an extremely difficult 2-3 year old, we got about half a year when he was 4 where he was relatively easy going, but creeping up to age 5 he had another big shift in mood, attitude and behaviour and he went through a difficult stage that he’s still in. He’s on summer school holidays at the moment until February and the break has really helped his mood, but he’s still as headstrong as ever and probably always will be.

 

[Zephram]

To actually answer the question in your title - yes, I do think 5 year olds are harder than 3 year olds. I think it’s because their moods and attitudes actually get more complex as they get older so they require more emotional input from you as a parent. When a 3 year old is upset there’s a relatively simple reason behind it and it has a relatively simple solution, but a 5 year old is capable of more complex thoughts, behaviours, feelings and reasoning and therefore when they’re being difficult the solution is often more complex and requires more emotional input. It’s harder to right the more complex feelings of a 5 year old than a 3 year old, is what I mean!

 

[minties]

Sophie is the worlds sweetest, easiest kid. Never had a terrible any stage. Never acts up in public. But just before turning 5 she turned into a grumpy, moody, angry and tearful so-and-so!

Thomas was dreadful from 18 montjs, but he's JUST been diagnosed with ASD, ADD and opposition defiance disorder.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I found Holly really sweet and easy until she turned 3. That was a horrific year for me, so much so that I am absolutely dreading that age with James. Age 4 was a pretty good age. Age 5 hasn't been too bad but she does have a bit of a temper on her and can be quite over emotional and have a bit of an attitude on her at times!

 

[AmyKai]

My oldest was harder at 3 as a whole, but the first few months of 5 were horrible. So moody, constantly throwing tantrums over nothing. She's gotten better these past few months though. I think school has been good for her.

DD is almost 3 and she's still sweet but I know it's likely that once we hit 3 she will turn fiesty!!

 

[SarahBear]

Yesterday she was back to preschool and her behavior was much better. Perhaps a lot of the issue was just being out of routine? I don't know. Either way, I think we're back to normal 5 year old territory instead of 5 year old influenced by epilepsy territory. With all that's happened, it's hard to know how she would have been if epilepsy had never developed, but that's not the kid I've got... Since behavior can indicate the return of seizures, it's just a tricky balancing act of figuring out what's normal and what means that there's trouble ahead. I think the last time her behavior flared up, it was epilepsy and her increased medicine dose was the right choice. This time it seems a bit more "normal," even if there are new behaviors.

 

[babycrazy1706]

For me 5 is the hardest so far!

 

[SarahBear]

Oy, so the other day we went to leave the neighbor's yard to go home for dinner. Violet just sat and tantrumed over not getting to keep their skates. They're too small for the neighbors and she can barely cram her feet into them. If she wants roller skates, I am not going to get junky ones that don't truly fit her. I'd also rather start with roller blades since the balance is easier. Leo didn't want to leave either, but didn't throw a fit over it. So, Violet was there loudly crying while I walked away with Leo. As we got about half a block away, she ran after us screaming and crying. She went inside, but not without being just miserable. I haven't seen any signs that something is off with her in terms of medication being too high or too low, but man I could do without the theatrics. I hope that as Leo heads into 3, he continues to be far more laid back compared to Violet. He is having more tantrums lately though. However, some of them can be eliminated when you give him a good explanation.