Arggh my mother

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by Flipsy, Jan 24, 2011.

  1. Flipsy

    Flipsy Guest

    i have a feeling i'll spend the rest of my pregnancy arguing with my mother .. sigh how is it possible to assert my position as mother of this child when my own mother thinks I'm being fussy??

    told her that my fella and I bought a travel cot (I collect it tomorrow) and she pipes up wiht but we're getting a cot for here .. my response where you gonna put it .. oh we can put it up when baby here and take it down when baby not here!!!! am I the only one who thinks this is a reallllly bad idea apart from teh fact it will be second hand actually think its about third hand already... isn't putting it up and down all the time going to weaken the structure??

    Why isn't it enough to say i'd really rather you didn't do that . . without getting the "don't you trust us" argument from them :cry:
     
  2. Lilly12

    Lilly12 Mommy & #2 on board

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    I guess alot of mothers and/or MIL's act weird when their daughter/daughter in law is pregnant.

    My MIL had this bouncy seat and she was like telling me over and over and over again "If you don't want it or if you don't have room you can leave it at my house" .. like she was almost pushing me to say that it could be left there.
    Now we already bought a bouncer a long time ago so I really don't care about it but still.. weird and kind of annoying!
    So I said "sure just leave it there" in which she replied " If we ever even get to see Aleena" .
    :dohh:
    It's like umm, you're the one who hasn't visited us in about a year, while we go over to her house at least once a month! (they live an hour away and my husband works 60-70 hours so we don't have any time).

    I'd say, try to ignore her!
    Good luck :hugs:
     
  3. Divinebeauty

    Divinebeauty Guest

    Im having a hell of a time with my Mother in Law right now. ughh i feel the pain it is ongoing fights as this is going to be her first 'grandaughter' and she is over the moon. She is collecting things like high chairs, crib, toys, clothes everything for her house she really thinks that she is always going to have our baby she even wants me to makea schedule as to when she can have the baby to have 'bonding' time.

    Seriousely some mothers/mother in laws are too invasive its unreeal I really think its stupid to havea bunch of extra stuff at her house as when I visit I will be there with MY baby and I will be leaving with my baby there really is no need for her to collect baby items for her house.

    I am so aggrivated by this right now I want to rip my hair out!! She is always saying oh anything you dont want at your place just drop it by mine ill keep it here for when I have the baby.,..

    Like aghhhhh leave me ALONE!
     
  4. Flipsy

    Flipsy Guest

    Thanks Lilly, it's just so frustrating i dont want her wasting her money on a cot that won't ever get used.

    They only got back from holiday tonight and the first thing out her mouth was i hope you haven't built the pram its bad luck blah blah then on to the cot ... she's hard to ignore lol.

    Ah well if she goes ahead with gtting the cot then I am going to feel like I can't trust her to have my child if she can't respect my wishes over something like this??

    she took my nephew for his first haircut without discussion wiht his mother i'd kill her if she did that to me.
     
  5. Lilly12

    Lilly12 Mommy & #2 on board

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    :hugs:
    Wow your MIL sounds very invasive!
    I'm sorry you have to deal with her.. specially since you already have a lot on your mind.
    I know how it feels to have an obnoxious MIL though.. very stressful although I try not to let her get to me.
    I hope my MIL doesn't think the baby will be staying at her house anytime soon, if she does shes got it all wrong :winkwink:
     
  6. Flipsy

    Flipsy Guest

    I hear ya divine ,, i''d possibly cope easier if it was his mum (never met her so a bit odd lol) coz i could say deal with it and he would. it's getting to the stage wiht my mum that my partner is going to feel like he has to step in ... we don't live together so so far he hasn't felt he has the right but this is his child too regardless of our living arrangements for the moment.
     
  7. booker1981

    booker1981 Expecting # 2

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    I feel very strongly towards my mum at the moment, i havent even replied to her last text as it was just stupid. I had an emergency section with my 4 year old and am having a planned section 4 weeks today and she basically told me that she would come and stay with me to help as she didnt think me and my other half could cope????????? Excuse me??? We had no help with our first born so there is no way she is now going to stay for a week to help me with my second. Im sure she is only trying to help but she is just doing my head in. Keeps telling me she has a got present for my 4 year old so he doesnt feel left out as if this hasnt even crossed my mind. My mum would just want to sit here for the whole week holding the baby while i try and recover from a section while making dinner or doing the hoovering, i honestly dont think it would cross her mind to get the hoover out. I feel like im going in for a proper rant now but i totally get what you mean even though its slightly different and that she isnt saying she will get loads of bits for baby for her house. I got this text last night saying make sure that my other half lets her know as soon as possible that me and baby are ok after section, im sorry but this seems like a stupid thing to say. I know she must mean well but he told her stright away with our son so why would we not do the same with this one????
     
  8. Divinebeauty

    Divinebeauty Guest

    ughh i FEEL the same way with my MIL she always say oh wait till you add a baby to your life I have a 4 year old as well , shes always saying how my son is going to come 2nd and he is going to be so left out and this and that, its like obviousely hubby and I have sat down and talked about everything and we have to do things in certain orders just to make sure mason is not left out. Like when I bought the stroller//car seat shes like now I would expect you should buy mason something JUST as expensive you need to keep it equal between kids!! she thinks that I am going to favor this babe, because she is a girl (and she favors her girl) I am hardly like that I love my boy to bits and I dont need to buy him expensive purchases to show him he is loooved!!!
     
  9. brunette&bubs

    brunette&bubs Mommy to James

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    Moms and MILS can be a real pain huh?
    Mine seem like they are always competing with eachother.
    Somehow they are both tolerable now.

    It does bug me that they both always say to me "You dont even know how much your life is gonna change"
    It's like, really?! thanks for letting me know I never thought my life would change at all because of this baby.
    It almost feels like they are just trying to scare me sometimes.

    If she buys a crib for her house, then screw her. I promise you will use that travel crib a lot at friends, your in-laws, when you go on vacation, etc...

    If she wants to be difficult there is not much you can do about it except shrug it off and be the bigger person.
     
  10. booker1981

    booker1981 Expecting # 2

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    Yep, i couldnt agree more. I have done nothing but think about how to make things as easy as they can be for my son and have had him involved from the start. Hes been to scans, picked clothes out for his baby sister, helped us set up the nursery, including setting up the flat packed furniture and we are taking him shopping in 2 weeks time so he can pick a teddy to give to her when he comes to visit us at the hospital. I ordered a 'i am the big brother' t-shirt for him today which will be from the baby and he will get this also when at the hospital. It really upsets me (probably just my hormones) at the thought of my son feeling left out and i know its going to be hard at times but i am going to do my best to make sure he is always happy. Hes at at age where he can help with changing nappies, giving bottles etc etc so im hoping this will help him. He is very excited and he knows how much i love him and just because im having a girl doesnt mean im going to love him any less, he is my Prince and if anything, im sure im going to feel my love for him so much more when his little sister comes along. I just dont understand why my mum doesnt think im capable in achieving this for my family?? I love my little man so much and i just know he is going to be the best big brother in the world!! :cloud9:
     
  11. Flipsy

    Flipsy Guest

    Thanks girls it helps to know I'm not alone but Arrgghhhh she's driving me crazy.

    I get the be the bigger person bit and I usually am but if she goes ahead and gets a second hand cot baby won't be staying with her and that will cause a fight in itself ... can't win really can I.
     
  12. tinkerbell <3

    tinkerbell <3 Well-Known Member

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    Sooo glad im not the only one!! feel like im going insane...my MIL on one hand is OBSESSED about this baby coming and litreally inspects everything i buy and then goes and buys me MORE stuff and loads of baby stuff for at her house..and shes always telling me of MORE stuff i need..nope ive got everything thanks...
    And my mum on the other hand is a diffrent story she hates it when i talk about the pregnancy/baby and goes all funny and tells me for gods sake people have babies everyday its not hard you will be recoverd after the birth in a day!! yeah sure!! she lives in England and I live in ireland so i keep telling her to get stuff for at her house because i really want to visit home and see all my old freinds and rest of my family...but she wont get anything...she just shouts when i mention it and says..oh for gods sake we dont need to think about that..well the baby is due in 3 weeks! crikey...BIG rant lol!! xxx
     
  13. Flipsy

    Flipsy Guest

    we can't win can we .. bit like damned if you do damned if you don't
     

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