arghh no maintenance

[surprisebaby]

I have had csa for a while for my youngest son (11). but when it was reasessed the money went up quite a bit, because before it had only been pnly £20 a week. When he saw the new figure he gave up his job (or said he did) in May. Well today I phoned the csa and it looks like I won't get anything because he appears to have left his job. I think he's working cash in hand, cos he is not claiming benefit.

Anyway i was angry today that he doesn't pay anything and hasn't for the last 5/6 months, that I phoned him today and said he could only have our son every second weekend plus holidays instead of every tuesday night and every second weekend and hols. I don't want him to go away on tuesday anyway and have only been trying to be considerate to him. I have never done this before, but I don't see why i should give him everything he wants when he doesn't give me any money at all.



I give him way too much contact. I know these issues are not connected in a way cos it's important to consider whats best for child but I feel i need to do something to gain control of situation.

Why should my son be with out money because he doesn't want to pay.

Sorry I am just in a bad mood I think.

Update: sorry what a negative post. I don't normally care that much about maintenance and that kind of thing. wow I think I need to chill out a little xxx I think pregnancy makes me really emotional sometimes. And I always seem to get annoyed after being on the phone to the CSA!!!

 

[xxannxx]

I totally understand this. I have just went through CSA few months, and it totally stresses me out speaking to them too. I know their probably doing their best, and only have certain powers, but it really seems at times that they are being obstructive, and feels like they are more interested in the fathers side, one of them actually said to me '**** has been nothing but helpful', i said 'if he had been helpful i wouldn't be going through CSA after 3 years without money'!!!!. Its far too easy for these men to get away without paying, its ridiculous.

 

[Kara1989]

I feel your pain, although the girl's father has also been good with giving me money (because of his mum really) just having to talk to him about it stresses me out. Just try and stay calm and keep pushing for what you deserve. If you suspect he's working cash in hand maybe you should report it because it's illegal and if he's earning money then your child has a right to it. Sometimes I get secretly angry that I spend money on food, clothes etc and then my ex can just show up and pay for fun things like birthday parties. Anyway sorry for rambling about me, what I was trying to say was don't let money get you down but always push for what you have a right to.