Arguing over Boy names...

[MommyWishes4]

DH and I are fine in the girl department - I have loads of names I like and he doesn't have any girl names that he thought up previously so he's more open to it.

HOWEVER, I'm having a very hard time with boy names. He said he had the boy names he really liked picked out for many years. My problem with them are he wants to name one after him (which I'm okay with and planning on doing) one after his brother and another after his father - both whom we see weekly and live close to! I understand if they were dead, or honoring them with middle names, but it's too close. It seems like it would be a family of confusion - it'll be difficult enough because DH's name is William. Instead of Liam or Will as I suggested for nicknames, he wants Bill or Billy - both of which he is also called. Now to add two names I also say all the time?

To add more on top of it, his father shares a name with my brother. I have a list of names for boys I really like - that aren't names after anyone in the family. I'm not being unfair and saying I want my family named after and not his - I want original! I never liked the idea of naming children after close family, especially ones I'm not fond of, like his father. Maybe if someone died that one of us was close to...but none living and none that we see all the time as a first name.

Any suggestions on how to get him to agree to do middle names for his brother and father? Or, more ideally, to do all original names that have nothing to do with family? He's pretty steadfast...as much as I am! I've suggested middle names or looking at my names, but he said he invisioned this for years (as have I with my names) and I'm nervous to how this will work out. I haven't shown him my names yet, since I feel like it's a last resort.

(Sorry about the rant... )

 

[MommyWishes4]

Aww, no suggestions? Has no one else dealt with this type of thing?

 

[Wallie]

Its a hard one. I know someone called their son after him and all he got was Wee Alfie and the father was Big Alfie. I think it was a shame really.

I also find it offputting too as when they get older (or not for that matter) when you get mail they will be the same name on the envelope. How can you tell who its for? Even doing this with an initial can cause problems too. e.g Mr Charlie Smith and Mr Colin Smith, they're then both Mr C Smith.

I know my brother and his wife had mail going to my mums and they had the same initials and it caused a bit of a problem with the bank once = oopps!

Sorry I don't actually know what to suggest at all other than sticking to your guns but it may cause problems. eek! sorry!

 

[RubyRainbows]

I personally am not a fan of giving baby dad's name...... i think each child should have their own, individual name. My dad, brother, & both grandfathers all had the same name! Not only confusing... but boring as well! My dad was always called "big Tony" and my brother was always "little Tony." Which of course sounds rediculous! And getting mail & phone calls were ALWAYS confusing.

I think it's fair enough if you agree to give 3 sons all the middle names of OH, FIL, & BIL. Or if need be... and he really wants baby named after himself... then at least a different nickname and you get to pick the middle name. I love Liam as a nn. for William!!!!!!! I certainly think this is a fair compromise! I think it's way too much to ask to use his father's & brother's names too????? Besides... his brother may want to name a son after himself someday & wont be able to if you guys use his name?!

Good luck. I think this is worth fighting for. Try to sit down & have a serious conversation about it.

 

[MommyWishes4]

I certainly think this is a fair compromise! I think it's way too much to ask to use his father's & brother's names too????? Besides... his brother may want to name a son after himself someday & wont be able to if you guys use his name?!

Good luck. I think this is worth fighting for. Try to sit down & have a serious conversation about it.

That's a very good point - hadn't thought of that before! His brother isn't very serious about settling down and having kids at all, but I'm sure at some point in his life he will and may want his own son's name to be after him instead of his nephew.

I've basically told him that I don't mind giving the baby DH's first name, but no to the father's name and the brother will only get a middle name. So that's what I'm trying to work with now.

 

[Mom 2B]

Oh man do I hear you on this one. My situation on names is kinda related and im at a complete loss as to how to even bring it up without crushing my OH.

He wants to name our son Matthew Stephen after his best friend and brother who both passed away. Problem is I dont like common names and Matthew has made the top 5 name lisst for the past 25 yrs in a row. And I really do not like Stephen. But how do I tell OH taht i dont want to name our son after his dead best friend adn his dead brother???? I am totally willing to use both as middle names thou.
The real kicker that makes me seem like a bitch (sorry for the language) is that I chose our daughters name. Theresa Violet....but we call her Tessa. She is named after both my grandmothers who passed away.

I only have 10 weeks left and cant seem to get the courage to even bring the conversation up again. I did comment when we found out it was a boy and OH said "I will honour my dead!"

The only thing now that might help me win this argument is that we recently found out that OH sister found his deceaced brothers oldest son on facebook last week. His name is Mathew. So I might be able to get out of using Matthew as a first name because that is his nephews name. and his other nephew (dead brothers youngest son) has Stephen as a middle name after his father. Again I am totally willing to use either or both names as middle names just not as the first name.

any suggestions on how to bring up the conversation with out crushing OH and seeming like a total bitch?????

How are you making out with names now MommyWishes4????

 

[MommyWishes4]

Oh man do I hear you on this one. My situation on names is kinda related and im at a complete loss as to how to even bring it up without crushing my OH.

He wants to name our son Matthew Stephen after his best friend and brother who both passed away. Problem is I dont like common names and Matthew has made the top 5 name lisst for the past 25 yrs in a row. And I really do not like Stephen. But how do I tell OH taht i dont want to name our son after his dead best friend adn his dead brother???? I am totally willing to use both as middle names thou.
The real kicker that makes me seem like a bitch (sorry for the language) is that I chose our daughters name. Theresa Violet....but we call her Tessa. She is named after both my grandmothers who passed away.

I only have 10 weeks left and cant seem to get the courage to even bring the conversation up again. I did comment when we found out it was a boy and OH said "I will honour my dead!"

The only thing now that might help me win this argument is that we recently found out that OH sister found his deceaced brothers oldest son on facebook last week. His name is Mathew. So I might be able to get out of using Matthew as a first name because that is his nephews name. and his other nephew (dead brothers youngest son) has Stephen as a middle name after his father. Again I am totally willing to use either or both names as middle names just not as the first name.

any suggestions on how to bring up the conversation with out crushing OH and seeming like a total bitch?????

How are you making out with names now MommyWishes4????

Oh ouch! That definitely is a big problem! I have no idea how to do that...unless saying that you'd think it would be mean to his sister to also name your kid the same name she did - like it would be taking away from her honoring the brother. That way you only have Stephen as a middle name?

So far I told DH that I don't want a junior (I want his first name only - and the baby will already have the last name. I want something original somewhere in that name though!), and said no to naming a baby after his father (who wasn't a good father at all!) and said I want his brother's name to be a middle name if used at all. Nothing was really said though, and nothing decided (besides putting my foot down on his father's name and his brother's being a first name). Since I'm only 7 weeks, I'm not going crazy over talking about names yet, but might bring it up more after the two ultrasounds we have booked in the next month - maybe after seeing the baby, he won't care so much about the name and just be excited! FX.

 

[Mom 2B]

Oh well you stillhave lots of time to tak about it.

I cant use the whole sister thing becasue this is his brothers child with a woman we never met. His brother didn't find out that he had this child until the child was 6 and he ws not allowed to be involved in the childs life, fromwhat I understand anyway.

I think im just going to have to suck it up and bring up the conversation flat out and try to be as nice about it as i can!!!! Wish me luck!!!! Not sure if ill do it today but soon thats for sure as im slowly running out of time!!!

 

[lov3hat3]

I wish i had suggestions to get him to agree, i need suggestions myself! OH is a drama queen when he doesnt get what he wants, and ive always wanted Kenzie for a boy, ALWAYS. But he wants it to begin with the letter A because apparently it runs in his family and he always thought that it would begin with A. He also always thought that his first daughter would be called Emily. Now obviously he's never thought about what i want. Grr sorry this is turning into a rant lol! it would be sooo much easier if we had the first say!

 

[winterleaves]

My Oh didn't really like the name choices I chose and wanted to use his dads name but I told him 1) its me carrying the baby, throwing up every day and having to stay in not drink e.t.c, OH still goes out drinking all the time and 2) I don't like his surname and the poor kid is getting stuck with it so I get to choose the first name, regardless of whether he likes it or not! luckily he has come round to my name choices now!!

 

[blondebabe]

hiya i am having the same problem...i love the name matthew but thats my partner altho we are going to have that as a middle name if we have a boy i'm still not sure on which names i like. Girls names are so much easier to think of because of flowers and such... any1 got any nice usual english names? x