ASD. Help

[lisa35]

Hi all,

Not been on here for a while but here goes. My gorgeous now 5 year old boy had ASD and is diagnosed on the severe end. I get no help with him as apparently i don't come under the criteria for rest bite. Now Finlay is on the go from the moment we get up until he goes to bed and finally goes to sleep, if he sleeps. He constantly makes this errrrrrr errrrrr noise which is really beginning to irritate me to point I don't like taking him out because people stare. He covers his ears with his hands and started spitting, we do tell him off but we are wasting our time. He says the odd word when it suits him so not completely none verbal.

I adore my little boy and so does his dad but why do I feel like I can't take him out? It brings me to tears just thinking about it. I never knew things would be this hard, we have to do everything for him. I'm sure I'm not alone and any advice or anything would be a great help thanks

 

[sethsmummy]

the only thing i can say hun is all these things he does is what makes him special. Ignore the people who stare because quite frankly they're just ignorant and rude. Keep your head up and if people stare then just stare back. your little boy deserves to be out in the fresh air too so they can just go stuff themselves xx

 

[PresqueVu]

Some theatres and small cinemas do autism friendly screenings, if you have a look there might be something near you?



Does he like the outdoors, and walk well? There something called Geocaching that my little family does. It works wonderfully for getting us out, giving us a purpose to do (it's essentially outdoor treasure hunting through your phone), but also runs off a lot of the spare energy is a safe way.

We tend to do a lot of the rural ones so you don't have to worry about seeing other people so much, and you can take your time about things.

 

[alibaba24]

I would try and find some autism mum groups that you can go out with so you can support each other. and maybe reapply for rest bite. I know of people who have kids less severe and get it. maybe it depends on the area. Staring is so rude and iv had it many times when my daughter decides to just scream than talk when shes angry. Not quite the same as the repetative noise you describe but people dont take much to stare. in saying that though. If I am out and I see a kid who is clearly asd I do try and look at his mum so I can try and give her some type of reassurance. that I am not being judgey and actually on a small level i can relate to feeling awkward when out. even if its just a smile. often when im out if my daughter is mis behaving sometimes just a smile from a stranger eases the frustation.

I know its not the same.

hope you can find some support

 

[lisa35]

Thanks I will look into cinemas as I wasn't aware of this. He doesn't walk too well as he wears splints as he's a severe toe walker. He can walk for 5 minutes at the most them wants to go in his pushchair x

 

[lisa35]

I would try and find some autism mum groups that you can go out with so you can support each other. and maybe reapply for rest bite. I know of people who have kids less severe and get it. maybe it depends on the area. Staring is so rude and iv had it many times when my daughter decides to just scream than talk when shes angry. Not quite the same as the repetative noise you describe but people dont take much to stare. in saying that though. If I am out and I see a kid who is clearly asd I do try and look at his mum so I can try and give her some type of reassurance. that I am not being judgey and actually on a small level i can relate to feeling awkward when out. even if its just a smile. often when im out if my daughter is mis behaving sometimes just a smile from a stranger eases the frustation.

I know its not the same.


hope you can find some support

Thanks I will try again. They did say I could re-apply. Their is a monthly group just over road from where I live and I know a couple of parents that go to it and they keep telling me to get over as it can be very useful to share stories etc. But the only thing putting me off is that I don't work well in groups, I tend to clam up as got no confidence in myself x

 

[smileyfaces]

I cant take Oscar to some places because of his behaviour so I understand where you are coming from. No advice just sending hugs x

 

[pinkpolkadot]

It's so easy to say but try not to worry about what others think, it is only ignorance on their part that makes them stare.

We are waiting for ASD assessment, DD is probably going to be on the high functioning end I would think, but I feel it is causing her some issues (e.g meltdowns due to sensory issues) which to most probably just look like bad behaviour. To be honest, when we are out we are usually so busy trying to sort the 2 kids out, we don't even notice what other people are doing!

I would definitely try out some groups. I am like you and tend to clam up but a chatty member of our local toddler group got me involved and now I feel fine there! Hopefully there will be someone like that there to welcome you in and it would be great to chat to others in the same boat

 

[mummy2o]

Do they do early bird courses where you live? I can't highly recommend them enough, although they are very popular. Respite and autism doesn't usual start until they hit 10 (at least in south glos it doesn't) which I really think is wrong. How does he cope at school? Is his behaviour worse after school or is it mainly weekends. I know what its like having a child always on the go. I've been dealing with that for 8 years. Have you tried a weighted blanket at night as that might settle him more. As for other people I've learnt to ignore them and get some thick skin. My kid might be having a tantrum in the middle of sainsbury's which might look odd as he's the size of a 10 year old, but he's not having rolo's and smarties. He can have one or none. Or running around the park with a traffic cone as if it was his new best friend as it made him happy. If he is being difficult I try and distract him. Easier at the moment as I can ask him to push Erika for a bit, or bribe him with food. At school (he goes to an autistic school) they use a sun and cloud. If your good your on the sun and he loves being on the sun. If your naughty you go on the cloud. If your on the cloud he looses playtime at school and computer time at home. But by being good you get to go on the sun again. Pick your battles and don't try and tackle everything at once.

 

[lisa35]

Hi, I don't think we have that group around here but wI'll be looking into it. He's great at school he loves school but I think he could be picking up other kids habits. His school I'd 40 mile drive away from home so don't go often as he gets a taxi. They writ in his home diary everyday and put pictures in which is lovely.

He is never really naughty and never wants anything but he's still young. But for that reason I asked the doctor if he thought he had something else along side of his autism and he said no. He is also a big boy for his age and so strong..he definitely let's you know when he cross with you which is quite funny, he makes us laugh all time.

Yes I have a weighted blanket which doesn't seem to do much.