asked fob for money for baby things but no reply as yet

[surprisebaby]

i havent contacted my fob for a month now. last time i contacted him was to tell him in a text that the baby is a girl. anyway i have been trying to work out my finances and i've realised all the baby things i still need to buy; nursery furniture, pram etc amounts to a lot of money. then i started to think why should it just be me that has to buy it all, so i decided tonight to text my fob this message

"xxx, i wondered whether you could help me pay for all the baby items i need to buy? u said in ur email u would offer financial aid. ive only got 13 weeks left until im due so i need everything bought by mid march in case i'm early"


so i wrote that a couple of hours ago and no response so far. any thoughts. any ideas what to do next? i am quite annoyed that he seems to be ignoring me again... he did say in his email 2 months ago that if i want money from him thats fine.... so why would he ignore this message?

sorry i'm going on about this. i just feel like writing something horrible to him now but i'm stopping myself!

 

[bek74]

i havent contacted my fob for a month now. last time i contacted him was to tell him in a text that the baby is a girl. anyway i have been trying to work out my finances and i've realised all the baby things i still need to buy; nursery furniture, pram etc amounts to a lot of money. then i started to think why should it just be me that has to buy it all, so i decided tonight to text my fob this message

"xxx, i wondered whether you could help me pay for all the baby items i need to buy? u said in ur email u would offer financial aid. ive only got 13 weeks left until im due so i need everything bought by mid march in case i'm early"


so i wrote that a couple of hours ago and no response so far. any thoughts. any ideas what to do next? i am quite annoyed that he seems to be ignoring me again... he did say in his email 2 months ago that if i want money from him thats fine.... so why would he ignore this message?

sorry i'm going on about this. i just feel like writing something horrible to him now but i'm stopping myself!

Trying ringing him and talking to him. I am not a fan on text messages, I think people just use them to often and not only that, not every text comes through, sometimes phone companies stuff up.
maybe he is busy doing stuff and didn't hear his phone sound off.

I just believe in ringing and actually having a conversation, if he fails to answer the phone, then I would email, not text. JMO

All the best

 

[Foxxy]

I think that couple of hours is not such a big deal. Although i completely undestand ur impatience i think u should give him some time for reply. As may be he didn't see the message, busy and etc. If he still no answer...don't know...probably call or txt again...or e-mail.
Hope everything will work for u!!!

 

[purpledahlia]

Give him a bit more time, if he hasnt replied by tomorrow night then maybe text again and just say hello did you get my message yesterday, i just need to know whether you can help or not so i know if i need to sort something else out.

 

[sweetlullaby]

I agree with Claire

Give him a bit more time and then maybe ring him and see if he got the text xx

 

[surprisebaby]

i haven't sent any more messages or done anything. I'm giving him a chance to reply. How long do you think is acceptable to wait? A week? I don't know. Maybe I should just leave it. I am kind of left feeling rejected again somehow; like he just won't acknowledge me or the baby in any way. I hate it how he pretends I don't exist or that there isn't a baby arriving. and I am left to deal with everything myself when it should be his responsibilty as well. and i feel really angry that he is just getting away with it as if nothing has happened. I suppose it's just getting to me that I have all these financial deadlines to order furniture and pram etc and i am the only one dealing with it. I mean he isn't even interested in being in her life at all or supporting me through my pregnancy you would think the least he could do was be financially responsible and help me at least buy what is needed.

I should manage financially, but to get the items i want i will have to be extremely careful with finances in order to get everything done in time. oops turning into a rant!

 

[purpledahlia]

I know exactly how you feel, x

 

[tinkabells]

I think a week is too long, i would of txted him within a few days and been like well you aint replied even to say you cant pay for things, thanks i was hoping you would be a man, but clearly still a boy

But i paid for everything with my girl, i just bought everything every month and i'm proud that i bought everything, i wouldn't even let my mum pay for things!!!
And im still doing it all now xxx

 

[purpledahlia]

same here, My parents bought the pram and my friend gave me the cot as a gift, everything else i hav got myself and feel proud for it. They are boys not men, But theres nothing we can do. nobody can change other people so we just have to keep on doing what were doing for our babies. I would text him, but i would just say... i assume that as you havent replied that means you cant help with baby things. Thanks for letting me know. Heres hoping he will feel bad but these guys seem to have no emotional feelings whatsoever.

 

[surprisebaby]

Thanks for your replies. It makes me feel better that i am not the only one that has to deal with this kind of thing. i just wish my fob would communicate instead of ignoring. Its just so immature.

Yeah i do feel a sense of pride that i am buying everything myself and taking care of everything. i feel like an accountant at home working out my finances and items i want to buy and an interior designer, trying to work out how to design/decorate the nursery as nice as possible but at the same time figuring out what I can afford.

stupid fobs!!

 

[surprisebaby]

same here, My parents bought the pram and my friend gave me the cot as a gift, everything else i hav got myself and feel proud for it. They are boys not men, But theres nothing we can do. nobody can change other people so we just have to keep on doing what were doing for our babies. I would text him, but i would just say... i assume that as you havent replied that means you cant help with baby things. Thanks for letting me know. Heres hoping he will feel bad but these guys seem to have no emotional feelings whatsoever.

Thanks. I like that! i think i'll send that message now. Know what you mean. he seems to have no emotions about this whole thing or if he does he definitely does not show it.xx

 

[purpledahlia]

Dont worry much abot a nursery, baby will be in with you and you will get money after the baby is born so you can budget to use that for things you dont need straight away,

 

[expecting09]

I was the same, FOB brought NOTHING, mum got my pram, dad got my cot, nan got my moses basket, I would of got it if I had the money, but I had next to nothing, and just brought things each week. You don't need alot for the first few weeks. You'll do fine without FOB's money, but if he does decide to help just think of it as a bonus. These guys have NO idea

 

[surprisebaby]

i texted that message, but still no reply. I phoned the csa and i am glad i did, because now i know when the baby is born, they will be able to trace him, through various means, and get him on their system even if as a full time student he will not have to pay straight away. To me thats really satisfying, because just now he thinks that he can get away with running away from all resposibilty, but the csa have reassured me that just won't be the case..... he will be found.

In some ways its a way to get acknowedgement and get him to face that he has a child. It's funny the csa said they have means of getting what they need to get done even if he does ignore them, such as getting officers to go his door etc! so maybe he can ignore me but he won't be able to ignore them!!!!