At a crossroads... Wasting opportunities due to infertility

[treasured]

Hello,

I've not posted anything on here for so long, mainly due to the fact that everyone I ever spoke to on here has become pregnant- some with their second babies. Very happy for them all but it is so hard to build such a friendship that we had, or that I thought we had. Now that the majority of the group doesn't need support anymore no one ever talks.

Anyyyway I really just need some advice. Me and OH have been ttc for almost 3 years now. I no longer chart or temp because it was stressing me out but we obviously don't use protection. I returned to study to become a nurse and a, now half way through my training. My dilemma is that I have been offered an opportunity to go abroad next year to finish my training. Thing is we have just begun the process of fertility testing and are now on the waiting list for treatments. Of course I would give up anything to get pregnant and have my dream baby although I don't even know if treatment will work and if I pass up this opportunity to go abroad I will just feel like yet another thing has been taken from me. The reAson I am stressing right now is that I have to decide for sure by March this year.

Anyway, any advice or just general chat would be greatly appreciated as I'm feeling a bit alone at the moment

Thank you x

 

[Timetotry]

Hi!
When would you be leaving for training?
Do you k of how long the wait list is for treatment and when approximately you would be starting?
And when would you have to make the decision by? Is there a deadline for the abroad application?

 

[treasured]

Hi timetotry!

The waiting time for an appointment is about 3 months which would take me up to march which is when I need to decide about the training. It's such an awful decision to have to make , I don't want to waste time if I do need fertility treatments but feel like infertility is taking parts of my life away xx

 

[Timetotry]

Is there a financial commitment in march for the abroad training?
Is it possible that you could continue your treatment plan, accept the training opportunity and then back out if you were to get pregnant before having to leave next year?
Is your partner going to be going with you abroad?

 

[treasured]

Yeah, unfortunately there is a financial commitment. I mean I wouldn't even mind sacrificing the money for the fact I would be pregnant ! But backing out on the whole thing wouldn't look great for my degree, plus it's all specifically tailored for individual people so I'd feel like such a let down. But I kinda need to put myself first I guess . OH wouldn't be coming with me but it's only for 4-6 weeks so isn't too much of a commitment, I just wouldn't feel comfortable going while pregnant and obviously not if I somehow gave birth first haha. Xxxx

 

[Timetotry]

What month would you have to leave? Would you fell comfortable going if you were pregnant but not in 3rd trimester?
I definitely wouldn't go cancelling your fertility appt. Those are such long waits to get in!
If it's an opportunity that you can't pass up professionally then don't, but I also wouldn't want to stop ttc. Maybe you can get some of the early fertility appt stuff done, like hsg and ultrasound and wait to try any of the other things like clomid until after placement?

 

[Myshelsong]

The one thing I have learned during this journey is that you can't let your life pass you by or plan around the what if.
For what it is worth I say go an enjoy the experience. You can still do all the testing, but know that will also take time. Month and months!
Goo luck

 

[SunUp]

Can you become a nurse where you are?
Is the travel program certified / accredited?

Years ago (when I went through nursing school) I would have been way more stressed to be away from DH. Just something to consider. I am in the US and got my degree locally an have had success with fertility treatment (little guy is sleeping now!)... so I feel for you.

Can you meet with your Fertility Specialist and get a timeline as to what they think or when treatment could happen? It might help you make your decision.