Autistic teenagers - Help!

[Emmea12uk]

I just took my tom to his childminder and met their autistic 17 yr old. He is 6ft5 and threw a paddy threatening to kill himself and slash his wrists if she didnt take him out to buy a cd NOW! She told him she had to feed tom first and he threw a tantrum.

I am scared - what if he hurt tom??!!

I want to go get him NOW....But i dont want to be rude towards her and her son. Am i being awful??

 

[Dragonfly]

My sis is an austic teen but dosnt go that far to get what she wants and i wouldnt blame you for being scared and concerned. They are all different but from what you said I would go and get your baby! and your not being rude your just a worried mum.

 

[princess_bump]

oh honey, such a difficult situation. i have worked with autistic teenagers, but in the sense where you keep everything the same and carry out list etc. i have no dealings with tantums, if it was me, i probably would get my LO, but thats just me, its such a hard situation and of course you don't want to be rude but at the same time our first instict is obviously to protect our LO's i'm sure tommy is fine darling, but its what you feel comfortable with x

 

[tinytoes]

definately discuss it with the mum. scarey..
its prob just a tantrum...but i know we cant take chances with such precious little things!!!
i'd be scared.

 

[isil]

has she childminded other children? Or is Tom her first? I understand your concern but if he's 17 she is probably really used to dealing with him. I'd definitely talk about your concerns with her though. You need to be satisfied that he's going to be safe

 

[Emmea12uk]

She has two other children. But complained to me that people dont stick with her for very long. She really isnt very bright! She also told me today one of her children's mothers complained of a bite mark!

 

[Tegans Mama]

Fetch the baby fetch the baby! Speak when your done studying! x

 

[Emmea12uk]

I phoned her and told her i wanted to take him to granmas and she dropped him off for me. i feel dead guilty now though.

Going to see a new childminder at 1700

 

[Tegans Mama]

Good girl

 

[sam's mum]

I'd have done the same - don't feel guilty. You'd always have that worry in your mind whenever he was with her if you hadn't taken him back and it's not worth you having that stress even if he would be perfectly safe there x

 

[v2007]

I wud have done the same and removed him.

Good luck with your new childminder.

V x x

 

[dippy dee]

i'm so sorry you had to take your litle man out and felt the situation needed it, my 4 year old is autistic and can throw the mother of all tantrums but that's all they are and i've come to learn how to deflate the situation and alot of the time it's to ignore some of the actions, also taking their turns they don't do well at.
Hope you are happy with your new child minder and all is better.

 

[luvbunsazzle]

i have also worked with autistic teens, routine is vital to them, and if anything goes agaisnt or differs from that routine then a tantrum is caused. When we had new staff, it often was the case that we would see a tantrum, and they are awfully strong individuals, some autistic people do not use violence, just shout, or go into their own space, but you do get some that will destroy everything and anything in sight.

 

[clairebear]

awww hun u did the right thing x

how was the new childminder x

 

[mBLACK]

phew good thing you picked him up bite marks..

 

[alice&bump]

i think you did the right thing. at the end of the day you've got to look after your LO. he is probably harmless, i'm pretty sure with all the vetting and stuff that goes on, she wouldnt be allowed to childmind if he was a danger to himself or anyone else. but you need to be sure for yourself. hope the new childminder was nice x

 

[Emmea12uk]

new childminder is great!! But i ran into the old one today in tesco! Wopps! I was supposed to be away!!

 

[Miyah]

Really pleased to hear about your new childminder

- I am sure your previous childminder is use to manage his outburst but what really concerned me was her ignorance that someone would mind their child coming home with a bite mark

I used to look after an autistic boy who was only 12 and he could switch between disappearing into himself and also very violent outburst where my main concern would be him hurting himself - I was always a bit bruised and bumped - so a 17 year old that is the same height as my man....

You need to look after lil Tom and you did the right thing xxxx

DONT feel bad!


xx