Awful thoughts Please help......

[summerarmahni]

Ive been having these awful thoughts about bad things happening to my daughter, i have them when am sleeping or when i read things, or just sat there and they just hit me and i start crying there really vivid, the thoughts are stuff like, her getting lost in a big crowd, or been hit by a car, or been kidnapped, or abused, or dieing etc you get what i mean ive been having them for ages now nearly two years and its making me real sad, i just start crying and its making me paronoid about everything and everyone. i think i would actually just stop living if anything like these happen to her as shes my whole life i cant explain the love i have for her, i dont know how to stop them reduce them as there making me loony anyone else been like this ????

 

[summerarmahni]

 

[Jules]

Didn't want to read and leave without saying anything, dont really know what to suggest

Have you thought about seeing a doctor? if you have been like this for a couple of years maybe worth a visit, Maybe an anxiety problem or something

 

[BabyHaines]

oh honey
I dread this, as I am bad enough worrying about my bump. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep just thinking 'what if' and it is horrible.
I can only suggest as (Jules said) that it might be worth a trip to the doctors, as they might recommend some counselling or something??
Whatever happens, you will get lots of support on here and you have your lovely new bundle of joy to look forward to!!xx

 

[thompsonic]

I don't have kids but I get thoughts like this all the time, but mine are more complicated and more to do with me accidentally doing things... like I can't get the thought out of my head of dropping a baby down the stairs... However I have strong OCD tendencies which I think is the cause of it... I would recommend going to the doctor as well, it can help just to talk to someone..

 

[pinkbow]

hey hun i get the exact same, about everyone i love...and now my little man is here, i even HATE going to sleep, i wish i could watch him allll the time!...i constantly think the worst and people dying, it really is awful and want it to go...

i went to docs and have been told i have ocd which is causing all my anxiety(i also wash my hands constantly amongst other things lol) and have to go for more tests etc...def head to ur docs and see what they can do for you hunni

pm if u ever wanna chat

 

[thompsonic]

hey hun i get the exact same, about everyone i love...and now my little man is here, i even HATE going to sleep, i wish i could watch him allll the time!...i constantly think the worst and people dying, it really is awful and want it to go...

i went to docs and have been told i have ocd which is causing all my anxiety(i also wash my hands constantly amongst other things lol) and have to go for more tests etc...def head to ur docs and see what they can do for you hunni

pm if u ever wanna chat

If you don't mind me asking, what did they do to diagnose you? Whenever I'm stressed I get horrible OCD-type things, to the point where I get hysterical if I have to break my routines etc... It was worse last year and is better but I still have many things that aren't quite right... however I went to my doctor and she just said it was stress and it would get better... what kind of questions did they ask you etc?

 

[summerarmahni]

thanks everyone for having a read n sayin bout docs, now u mention the ocd, my family have always joked i have oce cos am very fussy with a few things by no means am i clean freak but i have certain ways about things such as i cant have my mams dog in my house or i get all stressed and heart racing, and i have to make my bed every morning and i have to have my smelly air freshers on etc etc loads more lol so am going to take all ya advice and pop to docs in the next week or two thanks everyone

 

[jazmine18]

i get these thoughts too..so i know how you feel, sometimes i try to just push them out of my mind, but i end up crying alot over them, anything i do i imagine what could happen to her and that i could never cope without out her and end up crying myself to sleep...i had to take her her to hospital twice in the last 3 months cause her breathing got really bad, and after that the thoughts got even worse. when i was younger i used to have these thoughts about my mum, but now its kinda shifted to sophia. a few times, when she had lil accidents, or chocked when she was a newborn i would be physically sick thinking about what could have happened..i never really told anyone before, so dont have much advice, but your not alone.. xxx

 

[pinkbow]

hey hun i get the exact same, about everyone i love...and now my little man is here, i even HATE going to sleep, i wish i could watch him allll the time!...i constantly think the worst and people dying, it really is awful and want it to go...

i went to docs and have been told i have ocd which is causing all my anxiety(i also wash my hands constantly amongst other things lol) and have to go for more tests etc...def head to ur docs and see what they can do for you hunni

pm if u ever wanna chat

If you don't mind me asking, what did they do to diagnose you? Whenever I'm stressed I get horrible OCD-type things, to the point where I get hysterical if I have to break my routines etc... It was worse last year and is better but I still have many things that aren't quite right... however I went to my doctor and she just said it was stress and it would get better... what kind of questions did they ask you etc?

I dont mind at all

Ive been to the docs soooo many times, all id get was, oh ur just stressd try taking a hobby... its not stress!!!! ...

so basically i went to docs(a diff one lol) and was like im so embarassd but im not leaving till u help me, i have these thoughts, routines, my hands are raw from scrubbing them etc etc and kinda broke down as i felt like an idiot..and he talked through alot of things with me, what makes me feel i HAVE to do certain things, any stress triggers ive had, when and why i think it started...just a load of questions and said i think u have OCD but we'll need to look into this further on how we can help...so ive to go to a specialist in it...that was basically it...ive been like this since i was young, drives me mad, but since having LO its just got a billion times worse that its not healthy, hope that helps

if u dont mind what kinda "quirks" do u have?

 

[thompsonic]

They told me to take up yoga!

Well, when I get stressed they get worse, when I went to the doctors, it was pretty extreme, I was counting in my head all the time, had an obsession with number 9 because it rhymes with 'fine' so I thought that if I did things in 9's it would make everything ok, I had routines and if I broke them then I would cry for hours, one time my dad went for a business trip and something happened and my routine got broke and I was convinced it meant his plane would crash...

I don't think I do really have OCD, or at least if I do it would only be very mild, because my quirks have got alot better. But I'm not neat at all, I don't mind germs, but things have to be a certain way. At school I will miss a whole lesson because I'm too busy ripping out pages I'm unhappy with and doing them again. I've lost count of the amount of times that I've cried in lessons because I've made a mistake on the front of the book and the teacher won't give me a new one. I also get the aforementioned horrible thoughts, like urges, when holding knives to stab myself, to run infront of traffic. When I'm looking after my little sister I imagine bad things happening to her. I also get the horrible rude thoughts, imagining people doing things and I can't get them to go away.

Oh, and sometimes I just feel out of control, you know? And it makes me feel really, really claustraphobic, and I can't bear to touch anything or be near anything or I cry in frustration, even my clothing feels too tight, it usually stems from having un-neat writing in exams- I used to fail all the time because I wouldn't write quickly in exams because it would mean my writing isn't neat, but now I'm doing GCSE's I have to so I have to just not look at what I'm writing, but if I do look, I want to run away, which wouldn't be good haha.

Sorry for the essay

 

[summerarmahni]

Well its at the point now were she sleeps in my bed cos i think that if i got burgled and sumone went in her room i wudnt hear them well i probs wud but i still have her in my bed, the only time shes not with me is when shes at school, as even tho i trust my mam to have her i always think well what if my mam is watchin her propelly and what if she crosses the road when shes not lookin etc etc, shes my baby and am not shy to say am very protective of her.

my quirks are, i really cant stand any mess in my kitchen at all not even a loaf of bread on the side it drives me mad seeing it, and i have to have air fresherners on all the time but different smelling ones so i dnt get used to them and can smell them all the time and loads of others oh god theres no hope for me lol

 

[thompsonic]

summerarmahni- I would recommend this website, https://www.ocduk.org/ it helped me a lot. I always just assumed OCD was 'people washing their hands all the time' but when my friends went on and on at me about having it, I looked it up, and found out it isn't just that at all. It really helped me in realising what can be symptoms, what can't, and before I posted a few times before I went to the doctors, when I was convinced I would be diagnosed, and it helped to have somewhere to share.

You might find you have a lot in common with OCD, or you could find none of it relates to you, but I'd check it out.

 

[summerarmahni]

Thanks thompsonic am gona check that link now and have a good read x

 

[pinkbow]

That really is a good read!!....i was the same just thought ocd was all about bein a clean freak but its not about that at all...its much more!

there are so many diff things that go on in our heads but it all comes down to the same thing..."if we dont do this, the same way as always, something bad will happen because of it"...

 

[summerarmahni]

This is how bad its got am just watching a film and a women was buried in a coffin alive now ive got it in my head what if sumone does that to my lil girl n i cant save her or help her these thoughts drive me batty and now i have to go upstairs n check shes ok in bed and still breathing if i dont go up i will start flappin that shes not ok

 

[thompsonic]

I know, those thoughts are the worst... like, even if I don't have a specific thing that will go wrong, I just get so distressed if something isn't right, like a disaster is coming and I need to stop it, yknow? Grrr, maybe I should take up yoga, it's obviously going to make everything better

 

[summerarmahni]

When i go to bed i also say in my head "anyone not from the light please leave now" then i imagin an egg around my lil girl i do this so spooks dont cum n get us if i dont do this i get stressed n cnt sleep people will think ive totally lost the plot lol xx

 

[bumpsmum]

not at all huni I fell the same all the time, diagnosed with PND a few months ago but things have gotten rather severe I have all these irrational thoughts ALL THE TIME cant sleep very anxious and nervous all the time to the point I have began picking at skin and excessvly tweezing leg hair, linging them up and inspecting them and counting, which I think is an OCD tendancy, im on waiting list for a psychiatric keyworker for weekly 1 to 1 and think ill get counselling as old childhood stuff now a MAJOR problem, I have an assessment with psychiatrist on tue which im hoping he will review my meds and at least offer some kind of anti-anxiety meds. Feel free to pm me to chat etc xx

 

[thompsonic]

bumpsmum- I have a hair thing as well. When I get stressed I pull out my head hairs and tie a knot in the middle of them... it's like a comfort thing. I do it constantly without realising but it makes me feel better.