Babies burrial tomorrow - Dreading it!

[mama2connor]

Tomorrow is our babies burrial. Part of me is absoloutley dreading it, but part of me is a little relieved as i can finally lay them to rest. It's been just over 2 weeks since i had them, and it's been a very hard, emotional journey since finding out that they had died. The undertaker came to my house last week to discuss with me their burrial and what i wanted. He said i could go to see them if i wanted to. After much discussion with my OH we decided we did indeed want to go and see them. I phoned on saturday to tell them we wanted to go through and see them in the chapel of rest only to be told that i would have to wait until monday and to ring monday morning. I rang yesterday (Monday) and told them i wanted to see them only to be told that i wasn't aloud to see them but we could sit by their little coffin but the lid would be screwed on. I was gutted and upset that i wasn't aloud to see my babies. It was so very hard for me having to sit by their coffin. We took teddybears, a blanket and photos, poems to go in with them. The pain still hasn't subsided and i just want answers now!

 

[Zarababy1]

My thoughts will be with you tomorrow hun xx

 

[polo_princess]

I hope tomorrow goes ok, will be thinking of you

 

[vickielm]

I am so so so sorry you have to go through this hunni. It will be like closure for you and your family. Although you will never forget them. So dont punish yourself for not crying etc.

You will be in my thoughts all day tomorrow. I hope they have a lovely send off.

Cry, Cry.

Vik
x

 

[becky77]

Will be thinking of you tomorrow . look after yourself and give yourself time to grieve.
hope you get your answers soon .

sending big hugs .

xxxxxxx

 

[todteach]

Sending you . I will be thinking of you. xox

 

[golcarlilly]

All the best for tomorrow, I will be thinking of you.

RIP little angels xxx

 

[Bluetomato]

Hi,

I am so sorry to hear about your little boys.
I too lost a baby, my little girl was born sleeping at 20 weeks gestation nearly 3 years ago.
I am not sure why you cannot see your babies, if they have told you that you can see them, then you should be able too. It may be that your little ones may have changed a little bit so the funeral people think it may not be a good idea to see them as it may upset you. But they should be able to guide you on that, and if you want to see them, you should be able too.
I chose not to see my daughter in the chapel of rest, but this was only because she had been away for a pm for a few weeks, and we knew that she had lost over half of her body weight (she was full of fluid). However, we did go and spend time with her the day before her funeral, she was in her coffin with the lid on, but it was still nice to be with her.
I too put things into her coffin. We put in soft toys, a blanket, and me and dp wrote letters to her and put a photo of ourselves in.
I can understand when you say that you will be relieved that you can lay your little boys to rest. I felt that about Erin. She had been born on 26th May, but due to her pm we didn't bury her until the beginning of July. To me, after her funeral it felt like she belonged to us again, she had been away for so long. But now she was back, and she was our baby again.
I am thinking of you, I wish this wasn't happening to you.

Sending you all my love,

Vicki
xxx

Ps, I am a member of sands, (stillbirth and neontal death society), there is a forum there where, if you want too, you can talk about your babies. I found it really helpful, especially in the early days, and I still go on there now.

 

[KKSARAH]

Thinking of you and your beautiful Angels

 

[jonnanne3]

I am so sorry for your losses. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Schmelly]

I cannot imagine your anguish

It's terrible that you were told you could see your babies, then found out that you couldn't. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Big hugs for tomorrow

 

[charveyron]

My thoughts are with you and your family at this terrible time, I hope that after tomorrow you can start rebuilding your lives.

I know when my dad died the time between him dying and the funeral we were all in limbo and it WAS a relief to have the funeral.

to you all xx

 

[LeaArr]

My thoughts are with you and your family.

 

[Rebaby]

I cannot even begin to imagine what you must be going through I'm sorry about the mix up with the undertakers, that must have been difficult on top of everything else. I just wanted to say how sorry i am for your loss and i hope everything goes as well as it can tomorrow

 

[natalie7]

been thinking of you my thoughts and prayers are with you

 

[AubreyK80]

Im so sorry hun, My heart and thoughts are with you .

Stay Strong

 

[Las78]

Hun

I'm so sorry about your loss and the fact that you can not see your babies, that in itself is a hard decision to make and after you had decided it was something you wanted to do it really should have been done for you.

I sort of know how you must be feeling right now, we buried our little boy on Monday and the night before I was a mess, I had panick attacks, couldn't sleep and cried a lot. When Monday came I had this awful sense that I couldn't go to my baby's funeral, I wasn't ready to let go but at the same time I knew I couldn't not go.
I cried most of the way there and all of the way through the service although they had done it so lovely for us.
It was hard letting go, I didn't want to leave my baby there but at the same time it did bring a little relief that he was somewhere that I could go and be by him (2 weeks since m/c and I didn't know where my baby was in this time, I couldn't be close to him iykwim)

It is the hardest thing to do hun and a day I will never forget, I'm so very sorry for you that you have to be going through this, just know that you are in my thoughts and sending you huge hugs.

Please pm me if you need to talk x

 

[Jessa]

Thinking about you....

 

[Mamafy]

I will be thinking of you hun

xoxoxo

 

[TheNewWife]

Hope it goes well, all things considered. May you find peace and closure when you are able to say a proper goodbye.