baby 5months now! and i feel lost!! :(

[xxfluffyxx]

heye ladies! just wondering does it get any easier with the fob?? ok so tbh I stilll hang onto a lil bit of hope that he will grow up copp the f*ck on and realise what hes missin.Hes 21 as am I and when I was pregnant(7mnths) we broke up and he went a bit mad partyin with m8s etc.while I was left at home sobbing on my own! we were with eachother 4years and even planned to (one day) have kids.when I first found out i was expectin he treated me like a queen and then it went absalutely pearshaped....We have been thru so much since,he was at the birth which was fantastic,and i involved him as much as I could at christmas etc....at 1st I didn put him n the birthcert which killed him and I know was wrong but in the end I agreed to amend it and we made a day of it and went 4 dinner etc..and got on gr8! his family are very interferring and we have been to court etc,bu I agreed to wat he asked 4....8wks ago we had ...lets say a "moment" in my house,he jumped up though and said he wasnt sure if it was what he wanted,i got upset and he told me"leave it with me i dnt wanna feel trapped" as he said the whole commitment thing scared him off cos we are young bu tha he still cares for me and loves me....i left it,said nothin....we met up on valintines day to sort more papers etc for the child(his idea),bu i told him i was goin home to get ready to go out! he was snotty and like"have a gud nite"and stormed away! then he decided he was goin away and didn take LO for a week...I asked no questions and on return he fought with me and wanted to change his access hours,he made out that hed been off havin sex with other ppl etc bu then wen i asked said"mind ur business"i was extrememy upset after him sayin he loved me nly a coupla weeks ago!!???? he led me to blieve this crap then yesterday turned around and said"i was just tryin to get to you because you said you were seein someone""i havnt slept with ne1 bu it dusnt mean wer gettin back together"WTF????? what does this mean>?? he keeps askin me things like when are me and the LO movin into our own place etc? bu says he only wants to know becoz wants to know where his sons livin...bu also adds in the fact that he h8s been at home and that I have everything and everythings lookin up 4 me!!the day we went to town he flirted and spoke of sexual memories etc... fact of the matter is im miserable!!! every day I pick myself up and get on with things and make an EXTRA effort for my lil baby! its sooooooo hard! and if hes an a$$ like my friends and mam think then I fear ill find no1 who will like me dont know what to do but am soooo miserable! especially now that halloween,christmas,valintines,and now paddys day are all passing and hes missin out!!!!

 

[Newdreemz]

I've been through this, and yes he knows your weak, and he knows how to manipulate you. You have to be strong enough to let him go for now. When he calls, don't discuss anything but the baby, and make sure he's paying his child support. DON'T Close the case even if he asks you. And don't sleep with him because the more you do that, the more attached you are to him. He sounds like he's playing off your emotions, and I know you want him to be there, and you want him to be apart of your child's life but he still may need more time to adjust to it all. And unfortunately, us being women, we have to deal with the choices we've made, own up to them, take care of our children even if we have to do it ALONE, and deal with the men we've chosen to have children with.

I would tell you it gets easier with the FOB's but most of the time it doesn't. That's just the reality. You can't change him, and you can't make him grow up any faster. Tell him its OVER. and mean it.

 

[xxfluffyxx]

You have to be strong enough to let him go for now. When he calls, don't discuss anything but the baby, and make sure he's paying his child support. DON'T Close the case even if he asks you. And don't sleep with him because the more you do that, the more attached you are to him. He sounds like he's playing off your emotions, and I know you want him to be there, and you want him to be apart of your child's life but he still may need more time to adjust to it all.

thanks for your response,my heads melted with it all! you are right that we seem to unfairly pick up the pieces and get on with things and they can walk away!! I havnt slept with him NOT A HOPE! and was just talking only to do with the child! didn even ask bou his holiday! think that annoyed him more tha he started stirring up things! because theres been no drama nd i havnt bothered with him at all!! what do you mean when you say "dont close the case"? perhaps your right and he still is "ajisting" i dont know!! i appreciate you been understandin!! hopefully its work itself out!! xx

 

[Newdreemz]

You have to be strong enough to let him go for now. When he calls, don't discuss anything but the baby, and make sure he's paying his child support. DON'T Close the case even if he asks you. And don't sleep with him because the more you do that, the more attached you are to him. He sounds like he's playing off your emotions, and I know you want him to be there, and you want him to be apart of your child's life but he still may need more time to adjust to it all.

thanks for your response,my heads melted with it all! you are right that we seem to unfairly pick up the pieces and get on with things and they can walk away!! I havnt slept with him NOT A HOPE! and was just talking only to do with the child! didn even ask bou his holiday! think that annoyed him more tha he started stirring up things! because theres been no drama nd i havnt bothered with him at all!! what do you mean when you say "dont close the case"? perhaps your right and he still is "ajisting" i dont know!! i appreciate you been understandin!! hopefully its work itself out!! xx

Well, you sound like your doing fine then. Just keep it cordial between you two, and discuss your child only..it really does mess them up. LOL. They'd rather us be needy! And what I mean is, if he comes up with the "can you close the child support case so I can just pay you WITHOUT the courts involvement" request, then DON'T CLOSE the case. lol. Trust me, it happens. Sometimes they try and act like they want to be with you again just so they can get out of child support. Sad but true. Anyways, keep your head up! Youll be okay.

 

[xxfluffyxx]

omg thank you sooo much!! you really have made me feel better! and yeah i was starting to notice that!! haha that it TOTLLY f*cks them up when you keep it simple and get on with it nd not entertain the dumba$$ texts or calls!! he actually took it to court in the first place ,not me! he thought he was being clever but it turned out he only got the access I was already giving him and had to pay 500 towards "borthing expenses" and a further 50 per week!! SICKNER for him!! just annoyin how much he is missing out on!! .....neway on the plus side I got word today on a new house,so myself and LO will be movin out of the family home and setting up our own place!! will be hard bu hopefully a fresh start at the same time thanks again hun! xx