Hey guys, thanks for your kind thoughts n replies.
I didnt end up taking what i did collected anywhere as about an hour after i posted my last message i started haemoraging and DH had to call an ambulance. I dont feel its right to post any specifics as do not want to upset anyone, but it was truely awful and very scary, my first 2 losses were just like very bad periods but this frightened the life out of me, i have not admitted this to DH but in the ambulance it even crossed my mind if i might die.
I was treated by an absolute angel of a doctor in A&E who im very grateful to for being so calming, caring and thorough and because of him i was able to feel as strong as the act i was portraying for DH's sake. I was feeling guilty before that happened and im worse now, i really really frightened him, poor bloke.
After about 3 hours of obs n examinations they sent me to a ward and DH n my mum were sent home, that was the worst part for me as ive never needed to be in hospital overnight, let alone after such a drama. By this time it was about 4am n the ward was in darkness n silent, very lonely, needless to say i didnt get a wink of sleep. The following day i was rescanned and not surprisingly there no signs of pregnancy left, i just needed to stop bleeding at such an excessive rate and they said i could go home, after a lot of wishing, hoping and praying they agreed i did not need an op to stem the bleeding and they let me home.
It felt amazing for me to be back home, such a relief, but then DH just crumbled n that then became the worst part, the experience had given images that he just could not shake, there were parts i tried to shield him from as i just didnt want him to witness (while at home in the bathroom waiting for the paramedic) but his imagination unfortunately filled in some gaps and there were times ,like when in A&E an the ambulance i couldn't stop him seeing. For me the physical part of things are not the hard bits, ive never been squeamish.
Im relieved to say, i do seem to be on the mend and DH has managed to deal with things to a point where he feels a bit better. ive got to go back next friday for check-ups but im hopeful i'll get a clean MOT.
Thanks again guys, not sure i'll be back for a while, but youve been a big help
xxxxxx