lotuspetals
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Hi ladies!
I'm a little late (my bub was born almost three weeks ago), but wanted to share my birth story. Please forgive me... it's a bit long and rambly, with many typos, I'm sure.
Anyway, without much further ado, here's how it all went down....
On Thursday morning, November 7th, at about 7am, I woke up to a weird cramp in my lower abdomen. When I got up, I felt a small gush of warm water run down my leg and I just knew my water broke. I went to the bathroom and discovered that I had soaked my pants. I sat down and went pee, but the water kept running out, and along with that came my mucus plug and bloody show. It all happened at once! And to think, I had even wished that I would have a clear sign that labor would start. I sure did. Anyway, as soon as this happened I started to panic a bit. It was like, "Holy shit, it's happening." I ended up getting dizzy and nauseous. I put a thick pad on and called the hospital. They wanted me to come in. Initially I had planned to stay at home and time my contractions, but since my water broke, the nurses wanted me in labor and delivery for risk of infection.
Instead of calling my husband, Jay, and freaking out, I decided to clean the house one last time (my OCD knows no limits), and when Jay got home he thought it was cute that I was up so early spraying the bathroom with 409. I told him that he was going to think I was crazy for cleaning, because my water broke. I definitely saw excitement in his eyes and he hugged me. He was really surprised..thought I would end up being late. I told him that I usually am, but baby decides his birthday. I also had a feeling that I wouldn't be giving birth that day, since it was my first and that nagging feeling that Jack was going to come on his due date (the next day). ...Oh, forgot to mention that I did start getting menstrual type cramps right after water broke and they were becoming stronger but nothing I couldn't bear. I got my stuff together and took a bath, then off we went to the hospital.
When I got there, they checked my cervix and I wasn't dilated, but I was soft. We popped on the TV and my contractions started to get a bit more uncomfortable, but I wanted to hold out as long as I could before getting an epidural, so that labor wouldn't slow down. Jay was also coming off of the nightshift so I wanted him to get his rest so that we could be on the same page when things got serious. Baby was moving and kicking like crazy, which was sort of odd, and contractions got pretty painful when Jay was asleep, but I hung in there and watched episodes of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Vanderpump Rules (my guilty pleasures). Haha.
By about midnight, the pain was becoming too much to bear and I knew it would be about an hour once I told them I wanted the epidural, so I asked for it then (so far I'd been in labor for about 18 hours and they checked my cervix again and it was almost a 4). Once the guy got there to administer the epidural, the pain was pretty intense. I remember shaking as I was trying to stay still. I then felt the drug, but only on one side. I felt nothing on my right side but the pain was just as bad as before on my left. He eventually had to pull it out and do it again. I was worried that I would be able to feel everything when it came time to push, but after awhile it kicked in and I felt much better. I could still feel the contractions, but they were so much easier to bear, and I was finally able to get a little rest (only about 2-3 hours though!)
When your water breaks, they don't check your cervix too often for risk of infection, so I was left to be monitored on the machine by the timing of my contractions. I, as well as the nurses on duty that night and early morning, did not think I was progressing very well, and there was talk about giving me pitocin if things didn't speed up. I really did not want that, as I heard it can make the contractions very intense, and I also knew that they planned to lessen the epidural drip when it came time to pushing so I could feel enough to know when to push. Anyway, by morning, Dr. Inkumsah came in to see how I was doing and decided to check my cervix to see what the next step would be, and he was very surprised to see that I was fully dilated and ready to push! Jay and I were also very surprised, as well as the nurses, but I realized I must have transitioned earlier that morning because I had gotten very shaky and nauseous and threw up several times.
A million emotions sprung up. I had been so relaxed and tired, that I almost wasn't ready for the big moment. Jay and I were looked at each other and smiled, saying, "Well, I guess this is it!" It was now about noon on the 8th, and Dr. Inkumsah got suited up and brought in a couple of nurses. The epidural guy came in and lowered the drip to nearly nothing and slowly I regained the feeling in my legs as well as felt my contractions again. This, I did NOT like. I began to get scared that I wouldn't be able to handle the pain while pushing. ..It seemed I really didn't have a choice in the matter though, thus beginning the 3-hour long marathon pushing session. Not going to lie, it was painful, and at first, I had some idiotic notion that I wouldn't be able to do it (push him out). It seemed impossible. ..and maybe I delayed things because at first I was afraid to really push with all my might. But eventually I began to feel the pressure of him, and pushing him out took all the strength I never knew I had. Then came the terrifying realization that I was really going to have to push a baby out of my vagina. There was no turning back. So I just stayed in the moment as much as I could and dealt with the pain.
In order to make progress, I had to push extra hard, hold my breath, and push again before relaxing. This went on for so long that I was passing out in between contractions and dreaming/talking in my sleep. I woke up saying weird stuff like, "Jay, did you go get the mail?" and even something about Angelina Jolie at one point. Inkumsah and the nurses found it pretty amusing. But I got angry towards the end when Inkumsah kept saying, "You're doing great! He's crowing! One more push!" "One more push" was said about ten times over the course of an hour. I kept screaming, "I can't do it!" Then there would be a resounding, "Yes you can!" It was kind of funny, actually. I knew we were almost there when I felt the skin of my vagina stretching to the point where I was sure it was tearing. But I was so tired and wanted to be done that I didn't care, I just wanted to get him outta there. They ended up having to suction his head and realized that the umbilical cord had been wrapped around his neck (attributing to the marathon pushing session). But he finally came out. I felt the weight of it. Unbelievable. Amazing...and they plopped him on top of me, pink skinned, warm, rigid, and slippery. I was worried he'd slip right out of my hands. Jackson Matthew Taylor was born on Friday, November 8th, at 3:12 pm in Baldwin, WI, weighing 7lb., 4oz., and 20 3/4" long.
To be honest, I didn't quite get the emotional, euphoric, baby-bonding outcome that I had fantasized about for months, but I think it was because I had been so exhausted from a 32-hour labor, as well as being in shock. I did hold him and cry, but soon they took him to get weighed and cleaned up, and I passed out. I felt so bad, but I just didn't have the energy or strength to stay awake. Jay took over like a champ though, and the little guy (who definitely labored too) slept like one for that first day while I got a bit of my strength back and had a nice meal with Jay.
I started breastfeeding right away and baby roomed in with us, so I didn't sleep much, but the shock had not really worn off yet. I became very emotional. He was absolutely beautiful. So perfect and precious. It's true what they say about that intense love you feel, all wrapped up in a warm blanket of the worst kind of terror. I was so happy with how hands on Jay was, because this terror made me worried that my simple presence would destroy the little bub somehow. The nonsensical things us new mothers think!
https://i1114.photobucket.com/albums/k524/neids27/1000622_10152397670548266_1131816221_n.jpg
https://i1114.photobucket.com/albums/k524/neids27/1452025_10152446753588266_1145293567_n.jpg
https://i1114.photobucket.com/albums/k524/neids27/1474439_10152431314628266_107748655_n.jpg
I'm a little late (my bub was born almost three weeks ago), but wanted to share my birth story. Please forgive me... it's a bit long and rambly, with many typos, I'm sure.
Anyway, without much further ado, here's how it all went down....
On Thursday morning, November 7th, at about 7am, I woke up to a weird cramp in my lower abdomen. When I got up, I felt a small gush of warm water run down my leg and I just knew my water broke. I went to the bathroom and discovered that I had soaked my pants. I sat down and went pee, but the water kept running out, and along with that came my mucus plug and bloody show. It all happened at once! And to think, I had even wished that I would have a clear sign that labor would start. I sure did. Anyway, as soon as this happened I started to panic a bit. It was like, "Holy shit, it's happening." I ended up getting dizzy and nauseous. I put a thick pad on and called the hospital. They wanted me to come in. Initially I had planned to stay at home and time my contractions, but since my water broke, the nurses wanted me in labor and delivery for risk of infection.
Instead of calling my husband, Jay, and freaking out, I decided to clean the house one last time (my OCD knows no limits), and when Jay got home he thought it was cute that I was up so early spraying the bathroom with 409. I told him that he was going to think I was crazy for cleaning, because my water broke. I definitely saw excitement in his eyes and he hugged me. He was really surprised..thought I would end up being late. I told him that I usually am, but baby decides his birthday. I also had a feeling that I wouldn't be giving birth that day, since it was my first and that nagging feeling that Jack was going to come on his due date (the next day). ...Oh, forgot to mention that I did start getting menstrual type cramps right after water broke and they were becoming stronger but nothing I couldn't bear. I got my stuff together and took a bath, then off we went to the hospital.
When I got there, they checked my cervix and I wasn't dilated, but I was soft. We popped on the TV and my contractions started to get a bit more uncomfortable, but I wanted to hold out as long as I could before getting an epidural, so that labor wouldn't slow down. Jay was also coming off of the nightshift so I wanted him to get his rest so that we could be on the same page when things got serious. Baby was moving and kicking like crazy, which was sort of odd, and contractions got pretty painful when Jay was asleep, but I hung in there and watched episodes of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Vanderpump Rules (my guilty pleasures). Haha.
By about midnight, the pain was becoming too much to bear and I knew it would be about an hour once I told them I wanted the epidural, so I asked for it then (so far I'd been in labor for about 18 hours and they checked my cervix again and it was almost a 4). Once the guy got there to administer the epidural, the pain was pretty intense. I remember shaking as I was trying to stay still. I then felt the drug, but only on one side. I felt nothing on my right side but the pain was just as bad as before on my left. He eventually had to pull it out and do it again. I was worried that I would be able to feel everything when it came time to push, but after awhile it kicked in and I felt much better. I could still feel the contractions, but they were so much easier to bear, and I was finally able to get a little rest (only about 2-3 hours though!)
When your water breaks, they don't check your cervix too often for risk of infection, so I was left to be monitored on the machine by the timing of my contractions. I, as well as the nurses on duty that night and early morning, did not think I was progressing very well, and there was talk about giving me pitocin if things didn't speed up. I really did not want that, as I heard it can make the contractions very intense, and I also knew that they planned to lessen the epidural drip when it came time to pushing so I could feel enough to know when to push. Anyway, by morning, Dr. Inkumsah came in to see how I was doing and decided to check my cervix to see what the next step would be, and he was very surprised to see that I was fully dilated and ready to push! Jay and I were also very surprised, as well as the nurses, but I realized I must have transitioned earlier that morning because I had gotten very shaky and nauseous and threw up several times.
A million emotions sprung up. I had been so relaxed and tired, that I almost wasn't ready for the big moment. Jay and I were looked at each other and smiled, saying, "Well, I guess this is it!" It was now about noon on the 8th, and Dr. Inkumsah got suited up and brought in a couple of nurses. The epidural guy came in and lowered the drip to nearly nothing and slowly I regained the feeling in my legs as well as felt my contractions again. This, I did NOT like. I began to get scared that I wouldn't be able to handle the pain while pushing. ..It seemed I really didn't have a choice in the matter though, thus beginning the 3-hour long marathon pushing session. Not going to lie, it was painful, and at first, I had some idiotic notion that I wouldn't be able to do it (push him out). It seemed impossible. ..and maybe I delayed things because at first I was afraid to really push with all my might. But eventually I began to feel the pressure of him, and pushing him out took all the strength I never knew I had. Then came the terrifying realization that I was really going to have to push a baby out of my vagina. There was no turning back. So I just stayed in the moment as much as I could and dealt with the pain.
In order to make progress, I had to push extra hard, hold my breath, and push again before relaxing. This went on for so long that I was passing out in between contractions and dreaming/talking in my sleep. I woke up saying weird stuff like, "Jay, did you go get the mail?" and even something about Angelina Jolie at one point. Inkumsah and the nurses found it pretty amusing. But I got angry towards the end when Inkumsah kept saying, "You're doing great! He's crowing! One more push!" "One more push" was said about ten times over the course of an hour. I kept screaming, "I can't do it!" Then there would be a resounding, "Yes you can!" It was kind of funny, actually. I knew we were almost there when I felt the skin of my vagina stretching to the point where I was sure it was tearing. But I was so tired and wanted to be done that I didn't care, I just wanted to get him outta there. They ended up having to suction his head and realized that the umbilical cord had been wrapped around his neck (attributing to the marathon pushing session). But he finally came out. I felt the weight of it. Unbelievable. Amazing...and they plopped him on top of me, pink skinned, warm, rigid, and slippery. I was worried he'd slip right out of my hands. Jackson Matthew Taylor was born on Friday, November 8th, at 3:12 pm in Baldwin, WI, weighing 7lb., 4oz., and 20 3/4" long.
To be honest, I didn't quite get the emotional, euphoric, baby-bonding outcome that I had fantasized about for months, but I think it was because I had been so exhausted from a 32-hour labor, as well as being in shock. I did hold him and cry, but soon they took him to get weighed and cleaned up, and I passed out. I felt so bad, but I just didn't have the energy or strength to stay awake. Jay took over like a champ though, and the little guy (who definitely labored too) slept like one for that first day while I got a bit of my strength back and had a nice meal with Jay.
I started breastfeeding right away and baby roomed in with us, so I didn't sleep much, but the shock had not really worn off yet. I became very emotional. He was absolutely beautiful. So perfect and precious. It's true what they say about that intense love you feel, all wrapped up in a warm blanket of the worst kind of terror. I was so happy with how hands on Jay was, because this terror made me worried that my simple presence would destroy the little bub somehow. The nonsensical things us new mothers think!
https://i1114.photobucket.com/albums/k524/neids27/1000622_10152397670548266_1131816221_n.jpg
https://i1114.photobucket.com/albums/k524/neids27/1452025_10152446753588266_1145293567_n.jpg
https://i1114.photobucket.com/albums/k524/neids27/1474439_10152431314628266_107748655_n.jpg
I thought they just turn it down a little, not to the point where you feel pretty much everything. Sorry it was so painful with the epi! Not cool.
