Baby shower for no.2... Yes or No?

[wtbmummy]

So i have thought about having a baby shower in feb/march so would be around 31-34 weeks.

However.....

Most our family are abroad
My mum lives abroad and so does my mil & fil plus their parents so great inlaws. My gran has also just moved away too 😢

So left here i have maybe 4 friends that would attend and my step mum plus dh's aunties.

Is it worth having a shower or should I skip it? Its not a lot of people who would attend and Im worried it would upset all the people who couldnt be apart of it.

We didnt have a baby shower or party or anything with ds but this is going to be our last baby (due to medical reasons) So dh and I kind of want to go all out ya know.

What does everyone think we should do???

 

[Boozlebub]

I was thrown a surprise one with DD. I never had one with DS so it was nice, even though she is my second. There was only 4 guests: my MIL, BIL's wife and my 2 besties here. It was lovely being small and intimate. But my mother (all my family live back in the UK) was really upset when I told her because she couldn't be there.

I say go for it even though it's small and intimate but be weary of those who can't make it and their feelings. (Which it sounds like you are already)

Enjoy!

 

[misspriss]

I was given a small post-birth-baby-in-NICU shower for DS (which was just family on one side, and it was difficult), and a makeshift shower-during-holiday get together for DD (we were already having a BBQ for memorial day, people just brought a few gifts).

I was also told I was not getting a shower for my second, which really hurt me as I didn't have a proper shower with my first. I don't feel like I've ever had or will ever have a proper shower. I am pregnant with my third and I can guarantee my MIL is going to react badly to this pregnancy (haven't announced yet) and no one else would even bother to throw a proper shower.

So I'd say go for it!

 

[x__amour]

I'd do it! It's the memories that are important.

 

[arturia]

Pros:
Memories (last baby so strong +)
Stuff (Do you need it?)
Possibly seeing distant family members
Anything else you can think of?

Cons:
Worried about upsetting distant family
Expensive for some guests
Possibly shaky on etiquette grounds
Anything else you can think of?

Seems you should hold one. If your more distant family members either can't afford to attend or are annoyed that you're holding one, just explain that this is the last child for you so you wanted to make it special. Perhaps offer some photographs or share some [insert video call software here] with them during the event.

EDIT: Etiquette websites say it's socially acceptable these days. A forum somewhere mentioned someone holding a 'celebration brunch' with 'no gifts' specifically mentioned in the invitation. (you'd want to do this on a separate insert instead of on the main card, of course) It's an idea if gifts don't matter to you and/or you have everything you need.

 

[crazylilth1ng]

The shower is for you and your baby not family members. If they can't make it, they can't make it. No big deal. It is not your responsibility to worry about "hurting the feelings" of people just because they can't make it. It's not like missing something that is a huge family deal.

I have never had a shower and this is baby #4. I don't feel I am missing out on anything. However, if you feel it's important to you then make it happen for yourself not other people.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

This is my 4th. I had a blessingway instead. So so special. Especially for the memories aspect. Xx

 

[cleckner04]

I have never had one and this is my last as well. We thought we were done having kids so I got rid of just about everything. So this time I have agreed to let my mom throw one. Although I do worry what people will think bc I have two kids already.

 

[Thegoodtwin]

I had one with DD but don't plan to have one this time. For me personally it was way more trouble than it was worth. I planned/paid for the whole thing and ended up having a horrible time. OHs mother came and made a big scene and lots of drama, very long story but i would prefer to avoid the stress of it. I know a lot of people who have had showers for all their babies so I don't think it's weird at all. Totally personal preference.

 

[laura11111]

I'm one of those people who thinks it isn't right to have a baby shower for a second child so my vote is no. When I hear someone having one, I think "greedy" and "present grab". Sorry, just being honest.

On the other hand, you didn't have one for your first...

Maybe have a get together to celebrate. Specify no presents. People will still get you things, but you won't look so greedy.

 

[misspriss]

I'm one of those people who thinks it isn't right to have a baby shower for a second child so my vote is no. When I hear someone having one, I think "greedy" and "present grab". Sorry, just being honest.

On the other hand, you didn't have one for your first...

Maybe have a get together to celebrate. Specify no presents. People will still get you things, but you won't look so greedy.

Judgemental much? Like in my previous post, you have NO IDEA if someone didn't get a shower before. If they had a tramatic early birth and missed out. If they had no family or friends to throw them one before. You do not know, you should not judge.

So if I actually have a real shower for this baby, despite never having a real shower before, you would assume I was a greedy present grabber? Maybe give people the benefit of the doubt, assume they are good people until they prove otherwise, etc etc.

 

[Kanichen34]

Personally I am anti baby showers full stop. I specifically told my family and friends I didn't want one - and they threw me a surprise one anyway. I'm flattered I have so many friends that care of course but I still wasn't pleased to be put on the spot. I mean what do you do with dozens of gifts if god forbid something happens to baby?!

But if a baby shower is important to you then by all means go ahead - its you that will remember it. Personally I'd pitch it as more of an afternoon tea to catch up with friends before baby arrives when socialising gets more complicated.

 

[jessmke]

I am also not a big fan of the baby shower in general. I didn't have one for my first, however we did have people come over to meet the baby after she was born and when they asked what we wanted for a gift we told them we didn't want gifts, but if they really wanted to bring something we would happily accept any hand-me-downs they were not using for their children. Some family really wanted to get us something so we just asked for a contribution towards her education fund. I suspect we will do something similar for baby #2.

I say if you want a baby shower then go for it. If people think it is odd to have one for a second baby then they don't have to attend.

 

[DreamCatcher_]

I never had one with my DS, I was 17 and my parents didn't feel like celebrating. I'd like one with this LO and don't care what people tbink, I know I'm not doing it for presents and thats what matters. Go for it!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

If peopl dont want presents blessings are an option

 

[Scout]

If you want a shower, then have one. I love love going to other people's baby showers whether it's their first or third. I've never felt obligated, rather honored that the mom to be would like to celebrate her blessing with me. A small shower sounds lovely and I'm sure you'll enjoy it, as will your guests.

 

[amc90]

Every baby should be celebrated even if it is just a small get together. I love going to baby showers and buying gifts. A lot of my friends are the same way so why not?