Baby sleeping issues!

[Rachel320]

Hi all,
Looking for advice/support.
My 11 week old is not the worst sleeper but definitely not the best and I'm at a loss as to what I should do. She sleeps in a Sleepyhead pod in our bed and won't sleep anywhere else. She has a dummy during the night which she likes to constantly spit out then cry until we get up and put it back in again.

During the day she loves long naps but ONLY in the carrier on top of me. She'll have 2-3 hour naps this way but if I try putting her down she'll only sleep 20-45mins!

I don't know what to do. Some people say 'don't let the baby boss you around' but I don't agree with controlled crying so I don't have much of a choice!!

I look at other mums in the classes I go to and they all have make up on and seem to be coping much better than me

 

[cupcake.]

unfortunately this sounds very normal.
I'm sure there are babies who sttn from early on and then sleep the day away in some pretty bassinet and maybe i'll get the luxury of having one of those someday
Fact is though, most babies wake frequently and need to be held to nap. It's a normal very primal instinct and has nothing to do with a newborn bossing their parents around.

My DD was really colicky and screamed pretty much all day up until she was around 4 1/2 months old. I had to hold her for all naps, couldn't put her down. Now she naps in our bed with me staying next to her during her nap. What helped me cope was knowing that it is normal. Though it may seem like all other moms have it all together and their babies are always content, that's usually not the case. As soon as i accepted that my baby just needed time to settle into this world i felt better, even though she was still screaming all the time. And through all of that i did put on make up most days, just got very good at doing it one handed with a crying or sleeping baby in my arm

It will get better though, they aren't this little for long so even though i know it's exhausting sometimes, do try to cherish all the sleeps in your arms. You're not doing anything wrong and your baby isn't bossing you around. She just needs you and by giving her what she needs you're doing everything right

 

[Pipakoka]

I agree with cupcake. It's all normal. You do what you need to do to satisfy your baby. Once they grow up, it will all go away. Good luck!

 

[kirstybumx3]

Totally normal and it'll get better. Take no notice of those 'mums in make up' I was one of those with my first, except I'd have to get up 3 hours earlier and every outing took 3 times as long in order for me to look that way. These people aren't sailing through it I promise. I don't plan on being one of those mums in make up this time around, I'll be lucky to brush my hair before I throw it up in a ponytail - I've learned sleep is much more important than others perception of you

 

[Rachel320]

Thanks everyone, your posts really mean a lot to me and it does make me feel better knowing that this is normal. I feel like her sleeping through the night has become so much worse (was up at 3am last night and nothing would get her back down) so I'm tired and emotional at the moment. I'm really hoping she gets better at sleeping soon. Guess I'll put the make up bag away in a drawer for now! Thanks again for all the support xxx

 

[Unlucky41]

Hi Rachel
Glad you post this. My son is the same during the day needs to be carried and rocked to sleep but then only sleeps 30 minutes or at best 40 minutes whether I hold him or put him down. Have to do the rocking again to resettle. He also sleeps well in the carrier when he finishes his sleep cycle he kicks me a bit I just walk around and he goes back to sleep. He is 10 weeks and 1 day old. He sleeps better at night though probably due to exhaustion. I am hoping once he develops the ability to settle he can at least be patted to sleep inbetween his sleep cycle.
Not sure whether the 4 months development will cause him to regress. He can't regress much more during the day though!

 

[Rachel320]

So I spent the day with another mummy friend who's 11 week old sleeps from 7.30pm to 8am only waking up twice to feed and then falls asleep again!!!!!!!!!! And her baby actually SLEEPS instead of all the wriggling and moaning that my LO does all night. Is my baby exceptionally terrible at sleeping or is her baby exceptionally good?! I just can't help but feel like I'm getting the short straw for sleep! Her baby fell asleep in her arms and she was able to put her LO into he car seat without her waking up. My LO would NEVER do that!!

 

[cupcake.]

So I spent the day with another mummy friend who's 11 week old sleeps from 7.30pm to 8am only waking up twice to feed and then falls asleep again!!!!!!!!!! And her baby actually SLEEPS instead of all the wriggling and moaning that my LO does all night. Is my baby exceptionally terrible at sleeping or is her baby exceptionally good?! I just can't help but feel like I'm getting the short straw for sleep! Her baby fell asleep in her arms and she was able to put her LO into he car seat without her waking up. My LO would NEVER do that!!

Sleep can vary greatly, as it does for adults as well.
My baby would never ever do that as well, stay asleep when put in the carseat asleep. She'd wake up.
But bear in mind, things like sleep can change so quickly. The fussiest babies just suddenly sleep through the night and babies who were soo good as newborns regress and never sttn again until they're toddlers...

When the days were still tough my DD was a good nighttime sleeper. Sleep, wake to feed, fall right back asleep. But now that the days are good, nights have regressed and ever since we had to put her in her own room (she just wasn't fitting in her cosleeper anymore) i have to get up multiple times even though she only feeds once (sleeps about 7:30-6:30 ish).

You could maybe try placing her onto her side, my DD always slept on her side as a newborn. Or maybe try swaddling?

I really do think, the worst thing you can do is compare your baby to others! I am certain that the only reason I was able to cope with my baby screaming all day and being extremely colicky is that i don't know any other babies so i couldn't compare. I'm the first of my sisters and friends to have a baby and the last baby born in my family is my cousin who's now 13. I did not know what to really expect of life with a newborn so i didn't expect anything.
It really did take me until she was about 9/10 weeks old to realize she cried and screamed a lot more than most babies. Before that i just thought Babys cry, that's what they do and didn't think anything off it. A coworker who had her baby 2 months after I had mine ended up having a very colicky baby as well, but her being 32 most of her friends have had babies already she expected one of those quiet, sleep-all-day, only cry when hungry babies.. she kept wondering what she was doing wrong, what she could do to change the situation. When the fact is, she wasn't doing anything wrong, and her baby just needed time to settle into this big and scary world.

I know lack of sleep is tough. Maybe try having her sleep in a bassinet or something in your room, so you're not disturbed by the wriggling? Babies moaning and grunting while asleep is very normal as well. Maybe your friend just has a deeper sleep than you do and her baby wriggles and moans at night as well, she just doesn't wake up from it? There's just so many variables, every baby is different, every adult is different so comparing just never does any good imo