Baby won't latch....

[theroselegacy]

My daughter is four weeks old and since day one she would not latch...it has really been a discouraging journey and has caused a great sense of failure for me, especially since every friend I have has successfully breastfed their babies. Are there other moms out there who are struggling with this as well? I have been told over and over by my mother, friends and even lactation consultants that it's not a big deal if she doesn't and it doesn't always work for every woman, but that doesn't really make me feel better, because a part of me doesn't want to give up on it even though I know as she gets older it will get more difficult

 

[mamademarc]

I had latching problems at the beginning which left me with very sore nipples. I followed my Mum's advice of manually expressing a bit of milk before a feed as when I was full he couldn't latch on. Also lying down and placing baby on top and letting him search for the nipple may help too.

 

[ThunderPearls]

I dont have much advice as so far I have failed rather miserably with Breastfeeding

just wanted to comiserate and agree that nothing anyone says can really make us feel better about it. I have ended up FF at the moment and evn though I have a happy, healthy baby I still feel like such a failure at not breastfeeding.

Have you had any checks for tongue or lip tie? That can affect latch. Four weeks is still quite young so if you really want to BF then persevere but get in touch with a LC as maybe they can help with positioning. Also was your baby full term? If not then maybe babies suckling abilities werent that good and needs some time to build up the muscles?

 

[theroselegacy]

Yes I can try the lying down thing...my problem is when I try to breastfeed she roots, but no matter how many times I try to direct her to my nipple she acts like it's not there or doesn't know how to take it in her mouth...than she starts screaming because she wants to eat and I end up so stressed out I give up...just wish I could get her to figure out there is milk there and all she has to do is suck, but I've heard baby's know breastfeeding requires more work and some don't like that.

 

[ThunderPearls]

Oh I thought you meant couldnt latch well not just not able to latch at all. My LO was like that and still is even with bottles he just doesnt open his mouth sometimes and flails his head around desperately seeking out milk yet has his mouth closed! If I dont catch his hunger cues early enough to persuade him to open by brushing his cheeks/lip/chin/nose with thr teat then I have to physically force the teat in his mouth othrwise he becomes starving and screaming... When he was breastfeeding we had the same issue and he would swing his head side to side over my (cracked sore) nipples with pursed lips for ages before opening :/ it was so frustrating and painful!

Im trying to.relatch him atm so if I find out how to get him sorted I will let you know how I did it.

 

[summer rain]

Have you had your baby checked thoroughly for tongue tie? Almost all babies I know of who had this type of latching problem were, eventually diagnosed with tongue tie even if medical professionals denied they had it when they were newborns. Xx

 

[w8ing4bean]

Yes I can try the lying down thing...my problem is when I try to breastfeed she roots, but no matter how many times I try to direct her to my nipple she acts like it's not there or doesn't know how to take it in her mouth...than she starts screaming because she wants to eat and I end up so stressred out I give up...just wish I could get her to figure out there is milk there and all she has to do is suck, but I've heard baby's know breastfeeding requires more work and some don't like that.

Exactly this! I lie right back and its sooo much easier. Otherwise she latches onto my arm her arm her hand etc etc, all while squirming around fussing!

 

[PurpleIvy44]

Hi, I think I'm in the same boat as you. Megan was tongue tied at birth and had it snipped on day 2 but it hasn't helped with her latching problems. I think it was in part the lactation women's fault. The would grab my boob and force it in her mouth when she was crying and it was very stressful for both of us. She was actually doing good on her own for a few days but as soon as I bring her to my boob she pushes away or goes into a hunger meltdown and screams/cries so I've been pumping and bottle feeding her. I too feel a bit if a failure b/c it seems so easy for others. Its more work to pump and feed but I want her to get breast milk. I've read/been told that it is a learning process for both of us so I try to nurse her during the day. I also tried to pump a little first then nurse but that only worked once. Don't feel bad though b/c there are some babied that just dont latch. As long was your baby is happy and getting fed you should relax and do what's best for you.

 

[MalcolmsMiss]

Apart from possible tongue tie, have you tried nipple shields? We had latching and sucking problems, but she drank from a bottle no problems, so the nurses suggested a nipple shield. I think it just makes it easier for the baby to know to suck, as they go back far enough in their mouth to stimulate the sucking reflex, rather then the baby having to suck the nipple back iykwim.

They hold their shape, so it makes it really easy to poke them right into babies mouth. After a few weeks of this, we eventually didn't need them anymore i highly recommend them

 

[30Poppy]

im having similar issues where baby latches but won't suck and am trying nipple shields now but making me very sore. is that normal or do i need a bigger size?

 

[mac1979]

I am in same boat as you ladies. Mine was in the NICU for 4 days with cpap for a night then jaundice. They only allowed him out for a half hour every few hours when he was having phototherapy. It was not enough time for either of us to learn to breastfeed. Now I am doing what I can to relactate and breastfeed. I don't want to give up until I know I've done everything I can to do this. I may hire a lactation consultant. If you are in the US insurance is required to cover it now I think.

 

[HopefulPony]

I'm in the same position. George never latched from birth, and we had the same issues of hospital midwives forcing him onto the breast. He became traumatised and screamed at the breast. I have been pumping for him and relactated. He is now 4 months and has breastmilk exclusively. I've been doing lots of skin to skin with him and yesterday he latched for the first time, he didn't feed but he did fall asleep!

 

[mamademarc]

I know someone who used a dummy to build sucking strength. It's not something doctors will recommend more of a personal choice.

 

[Hannah11]

My baby is 1 week old and I have only managed to get him to latch with a nipple shield. It defiantly helps to get them latched on but I am dubious as to how much milk he manages to get from me. I have to top him up with formula or expressed!!! The lactation specialist today told me that they get 30% less milk through a shield.

 

[theroselegacy]

hannah11 Im in the same situation where my daughter will only latch with a shield and ive also heard they dont get as much milk through it...i personally dont like it because its constantly falling off and i think has caused confusion for my daughter because once i take it off and try to get her to latch without it she just searches all over for it and gets frustrated when she cant find it. its an unrealistic size i think

 

[Hannah11]

hannah11 Im in the same situation where my daughter will only latch with a shield and ive also heard they dont get as much milk through it...i personally dont like it because its constantly falling off and i think has caused confusion for my daughter because once i take it off and try to get her to latch without it she just searches all over for it and gets frustrated when she cant find it. its an unrealistic size i think

I was told to find the smallest shield I could and use that! Also after a few mins of them sucking with the shield on try to take it away very quickly between sucks ( this I have found very difficult) also if they get cross or frustrated reward them and put shield back on so the do not start refusing the breast. I only got told it yesterday as so far have not really had the confidence to try it but in theory I see how it is meant to work. I am at the moment so pleased that baby is latching on at all that I don't want to rock the boat!!!

 

[theroselegacy]

Hannah11 that is great the baby is latching with the shield!! If breastfeeding is important to you I definitely encourage you to keep trying! I was also told a lot of skin to skin is helpful. It really helps that your baby is still so little. My daughter is going to be 6 weeks tomorrow, and I have started getting to the place the last few days where I am just mentally and physically worn out. In a way I wish I had tried harder, but the first few weeks it was hard for me to give it my 100% because I was trying to physically recover and was in a lot of discomfort/pain. It was hard for me to focus...anyway keep at it and I hope the baby eventually latches without the shield!!!

 

[Hannah11]

I have been having loads of trouble since my last post and have vertually given up trying with latching on. I have been expressing and feeding him that way. Anyway the lactation specialist has said that he might be tounge tied. We are going to see a specialist on Wednesday to see if this is the case and get it sorted if it is. I am at the moment pinning my hopes on it working, if not them I think my breastfeeding journey will be over as I am finding it really hard to keep up with the expressing as I al still only getting 70ml every 3 hours but he is taking 120ml so I am always on catch up!

 

[VGibs]

Ok ladies....first off, everyone needs to try laid back nursing. Look it up on YouTube. Second thing that needs trying is laying with baby as much as possible with bare breasts and bare baby. NO nipple shields during this time. If baby is still a newborn they will crawl to breast and try to latch themselves. Don't force it. If you are looking for one magical latch that will solve all the problems, well it is a learning process. I have seen Mother's work on it for 6 months *yes really* every single day. Ask yourself three things...1. Is baby opening wide for the breast? 2. Is baby getting too hungry to feed properly? 3. Are you RELAXED? Relaxing is vital as it allows milk to flow and your baby responds to body language.

One thing I have seen work a lot lately is something my instructor calls "bedside routine" which is when you lay baby down beside your bare breasts and get the mouth close to the nipple without touching. It puts baby in a different position then they are used to being in and settles them out of the pattern of feeling frustrated in a normal feeding position. Allow baby to search the breast, let them lick, wiggle, refuse. Everything they feel like doing. But do not allow them away from the closeness of the breasts. If you start to let down then let baby lick the milk, or smell the milk, or rub their faces on it to get them used to the smell and taste. A lot of the time they will search out the nipple as the place of the milk and try to latch. If they end up latching then bravo! Try this as many times a day as you can manage to get latching established. It really works in between feedings because baby won't be starved and will want to suckle. Last week I visited a lady who fell asleep with her baby in this position. She has been trying to establish a latch for 3 weeks. She woke up when her milk let down with a gush because in this relaxed comfortable position her baby boy latched and started suckling in his sleep. Since then they have been back to breast for 50% of feedings.