Baby won't settle down anywhere except on us

[LandG]

Our first child Cayden is almost a week old and we are absolutely in love with him and our new family.

He won't settle down whether awake, drowsy, or even asleep anywhere except on one of us. This makes it difficult as we have a bassinet right next to our bed for him, but after about 20 seconds of him being in there he's crying. A few seconds after picking him up again he stops.

We've gone through everything to make sure it's not something else, diaper is fine, temp is good, bassinet is comfortable, etc. We rubbed the mattress with our scent to have him smell us in there, put him in with a "milk coma", but so far nothing has worked.

He doesn't like to be swaddled (tried arms in and out), and my wife is breastfeeding if that makes a difference. Throughout the day and at night our routine is 1.change diaper 2.breastfeed 3.tummy time until he is very drowsy or asleep 4.carefully put him in the bassinet 5.hope he continues sleeping 6.go pick up our crying boy.

Is this very common at this early age? If so, do babies grow out of it and is there anything we can do to facilitate the change?

So here I am, late at night, holding our bundle of joy so my wife can get some rest before the next feeding. If you have any suggestions or words of advice or experienc PLEASE let us know. Thanks in advance!

 

[minties]

Extremely common. I know it's really hard when you need to move, go to the toilet or eat, but I would just go with it for now. They grow so quickly.

 

[jessmke]

That's very normal. At that age I spent many nights sleeping with the baby on my chest. During the day I would put her down for her naps, sometimes she would be ok and other times she would cry so she would take her nap on me. Since I kept putting her down she got used to it quite quickly and could nap without me holding her after a few weeks. Night was still a bit harder, the first half of the night she was fine in her basinette, but the remainder of the night she wanted to be held. Eventually she spent more and more time in her basinette and we didn't need to hold her anymore. Now when it's time for her to go to sleep I can just plunk her down sleepy but awake in her crib, pop in her pacifier, and walk away. She falls asleep by herself. Just give it time and hold your baby when he needs it. It will get better!

Also, some babies don't like being swaddled with a blanket, but they like it in a sleep suit that has velcro straps. The sleep suit keeps them tighter and stops them from breaking out of the swaddle.

 

[LandG]

My turn with our kid again!

Thank you for the replies, it's good to know that it's common and hopefully he'll eventually adapt to using the bassinet. We've tried a sleepsack swaddle but he still didn't like it.

 

[broodymrs]

Yes it's normal! I'd really recommend sleepy wings. They worked wonders for us but honestly you just have to wait for them to grow out of it

 

[LoraLoo]

Completely normal, he's been inside his Mum for 9 months all protected and warm and listening to her heartbeats and suddenly he's outside in the big world.
You could try placing a hot water bottle in his crib/Moses basket so that it's warm when you lie him down, and one of mums tops in there so he can smell her, but realky at this stage- I would just let him settle on you, it's where he's getting his comfort

 

[Rainbow82]

Completely normal. Try a sling in the day so he can be attached to you and you can still get stuff done.

 

[MindUtopia]

This is really, really normal. What we did was basically sleep in shifts. I went to get after her early evening feed around 7, while my husband wore her in the wrap so she slept downstairs (he'd watch tv or do whatever he needed to do around the house). When she woke for the next feed around 10/11, I'd feed her and hand her back. He'd bring her back to bed about 1am for her next feed and then go to bed and I'd take over for the rest of the night, sitting up with her between feeds if she wouldn't sleep anywhere else. We did that for maybe about 3-4 weeks and then she was happy to start sleeping next to me but not on me, so that I was able to sleep as well. She still stayed only with us, either in a wrap or next to us in bed for the first 4 months. Then we started to put her to sleep in the evening and leaving her while we went back downstairs. That all worked great for us and it made for a smooth transition and she got plenty of sleep and doing it in shifts, we at least done enough sleep to function until it got a bit easier, which was around 8-9 weeks. Just make sure that whatever you do, you're doing it safely (i.e. staying awake while she's on your chest rather than sleeping with her like that). If you can't safely stay awake, make your bed a safe sleeping space and see if she's settle with mum there. You honestly might be relegated to the floor. But it's safer if she's sleeping in bed with her than on someone's chest who might fall asleep with her there. It does get easier, I promise. I wouldn't have ever believed I could function again at that age, but a few weeks will make a huge difference. Just hang in there for now and do whatever helps you to all sleep enough to get through until then.

 

[Taurus8484]

Brings back memories.....hubby and I spent the first week taking turns on the lounge all day and night with our babies.....it will pass. If it was me I would persit with swaddling and putting him down. Eventually both of mine grew out of it and I could put them down without any tears and settled them into sleeping in bassinet swaddled. No crying involved.

 

[LandG]

Thanks again you all for the words of wisdom for us new parents.

We know not to sleep train an infant, but to encourage him to sleep in the bassinet: when putting him in the bassinet during the day to take his naps, should the bassinet be in our room with white noise, etc to simulate the night-time routine? Or should daytime naps be downstairs where we are most of the day?

 

[jessmke]

Up until recently my daughter would nap in her pack n play in the living room, and only go in her basinette to sleep at night. Now we've transitioned her to the crib in her own room and she has all of her sleeps in the crib now.

 

[zorak]

Keep trying the bassinet. But I'd remove tummy time from the routine at this stage. So do diaper, feed then straight to sleep. Whether that means being rocked for a bit then put in the bassinet.

 

[noon_child]

This is really, really normal. What we did was basically sleep in shifts. I went to get after her early evening feed around 7, while my husband wore her in the wrap so she slept downstairs (he'd watch tv or do whatever he needed to do around the house). When she woke for the next feed around 10/11, I'd feed her and hand her back. He'd bring her back to bed about 1am for her next feed and then go to bed and I'd take over for the rest of the night, sitting up with her between feeds if she wouldn't sleep anywhere else. ... Just make sure that whatever you do, you're doing it safely (i.e. staying awake while she's on your chest rather than sleeping with her like that). If you can't safely stay awake, make your bed a safe sleeping space and see if she's settle with mum there. You honestly might be relegated to the floor. But it's safer if she's sleeping in bed with her than on someone's chest who might fall asleep with her there. It does get easier, I promise. I wouldn't have ever believed I could function again at that age, but a few weeks will make a huge difference. Just hang in there for now and do whatever helps you to all sleep enough to get through until then.

This is EXACTLY what we did! My partner got to play lots of video games till 1am then go to bed while I did the night shift having gone to bed at 9pm.

Babies are born really unprepared for this world but it has evolved that way because we have arms - we can hold them, so they can come out dependant on us for heat, breathing and heart regulation and very regular food and drink. This means they can grow massive heads and brains and basically be homo sapien.

Google the 4th trimester - it's a really good explanation of what is going on.

 

[Taurus8484]

Thanks again you all for the words of wisdom for us new parents.

We know not to sleep train an infant, but to encourage him to sleep in the bassinet: when putting him in the bassinet during the day to take his naps, should the bassinet be in our room with white noise, etc to simulate the night-time routine? Or should daytime naps be downstairs where we are most of the day?

Wherever....i used to alternate between the 2. And both my boys loved white noise. Made them fall asleep easily as babies.

 

[Bevziibubble]

It is totally normal. Your LO has been in your womb for the last nine months and you are all he knows. The world is a scary big new place. My first was very much like this and needed holding constantly; I could never put her down. My second is much different and very laid back. We bedshare though as he does love his snuggles falling asleep. I hope uiu can find something that works for you and baby