Baby wont settle when I hold her

[jessmke]

I am a FTM and my DD is now 6 weeks old. She is not really a cuddly baby, if she is upset about something cuddling her does not make her feel better. When she is sleepy and I hold her she won't settle into a deep sleep, she will snooze but she is constantly restless. If I lay her down in her pack n play or her Moses basket she will settle herself and fall into a deep sleep within minutes. In some ways this is great, she naps during the day for 2-3 hours at a time so I can clean the house, go on the treadmill, etc and she will happily sleep in her pack n play. But I worry that she doesn't trust me or feel comfortable with me since she would rather just be left alone to settle herself. I am exclusively breastfeeding so we bond that way, although she will not fall asleep at the breast, she will unlatch when she gets sleepy and then will fall asleep when I put her down. She just seems so independent and detached for such a young baby. Am I overreacting to this?

 

[lau86]

I don't think you're overreacting, it's hard when they don't like cuddles, my baby doesn't either. If I try to cuddle she will cry or root. It sounds like she's found something that works for her so I would let her do it

 

[stormcloud96]

Wow that has to be really hard. I don't think you're overreacting at all. They all have their personalities, and it's hard to not take it personally. While mine will fall asleep on me, it's only breastfeeding, she does not like to be held while awake, so I kind of understand. Do you have a wrap you can wear her, or would/does she fall asleep in that? That way maybe you can feel like she'll sleep close to you? Or sometimes I just put a blanket on the couch and have baby sleep next to me. That way we're close, but she's still be herself (at the moment it's too hot here for her to sleep on me)

 

[laura109]

Aww no hun. My lg is the same. Shes almost 11 months and settles herself, has white noise on to get to sleep and has never been clingy or showed signs of not wanting me to leave her.

Your lg will love you very much it will just be her personality and enjoy it whilst you can. Its nice being able to do things. So dont worry. They also change all the time anyway. You may find she hits 3 months or 8 months and be more attached. Sounds like your foing a good job and its best to do whats working xx

 

[PocoHR]

That must be hard, have you tried baby wearing in a sling? Maybe that will help, she'll be close to you without actually being held.

 

[jessmke]

I have an ergo carrier that we use when we go out for walks or to get groceries or shopping, but it's a bit bulky to wear around the house, I might invest in a sling. My friend tells me to stop complaining, she cannot put her baby down day or night without the baby going into a total meltdown, she would kill to be able to put her baby down so she could have a couple hours to herself. I know I am lucky that I don't have a super fussy baby, but I would also like to feel like I am more than just a milk machine for her.

 

[sethsmummy]

my little one doesnt settle for cuddles hun. I can count on my hand the amount of times since being tiny he has slept on me. he has to be put down in a pram or in his bed. x

 

[Iren_iren]

Thats not a bad thing..my girl is similar, she is more comfortable laying down than me holding her, but after having to constantly rock and hold her big brother when he was a newborn i am not complaining
You still can interract with her when she is awake and that will be more when she gets older..

 

[SarahBear]

Some babies need to be held all the time and others need their space. When Leo was a tiny baby, he would have various needs regarding closeness. Sometimes he would want to be held. Sometimes he would want something like his rocker, and other times he would want to just be on the floor. I just followed his cues and he was happy. He also would self-settle when in his rocker or just on a blanket on the floor. Now he will not nap unless he is being held. At night, he will not sleep on someone, but does nurse to sleep and bed-share. You may find your baby's needs change as she gets older as well. And it's not about trust as you're the one taking care of her and meeting her needs. Needs is really what it's all about. Some babies need high level of stimulation and others need to have less. You seem to have a baby who needs to have less.