Baby's eyesight fears

[Lauzybabes]

Hi all, I am new to this site and looking for a bit of support more than anything else but if anyone has any experiences to share that would be great.

My beautiful baby girl is 6 weeks old. Until last week I thought she was perfect in every way and to me she still is but now we have some big worries hanging over us and i'm trying to hold it together.

Last week I started wondering when my baby would smile so I started reading up on it and was shocked to read all about eye contact etc. Call me naive but I had no idea-not been around loads of babies. Everyone kept complimenting me on how alert my baby is; including midwife, doc, health visitor, saying how she is looking around all the time so i just thought she was doing great.

Anyway, i suddenly realised she doesn't look in our eyes nor analyse faces. I watched her with my friends and realised she is not looking at them but still all around the room. i tried getting her to look at objects and tho i have moments of thinking she is looking at things; i feel she is more looking thru them. She doesn't track them or flinch when they are too near to her face.

i raised it with hv who did agree and is referring her for an eye test but i am terrified she can't see and if so why can't she see? does she have a more serious health condition that will effect her beyond her sight? in all other ways she is developing well. At 6 weeks 2 days she isn't smiling but if she can't see then she doesn't know how to. ob at my doc 8 week check it will be picked up on and i will discuss it but right now i'm so down, terrified of everything and the future.

plus i know it will be such a long road and could be a year or more before we have answers or certainties and the thought of facing that year is too much. My husband is amazing and tries to ensure we just enjoy her because she is so loved no matter what but i'm so scared and can't help thinking that she may never do or see certain things.

Sorry for the long post, i just needed somewhere to say all this; i want to hide away from my baby friends because i can't help looking at their babies and obsessing over their eye development. Plus i dont want to tell them about it-i don't want pity.

x

 

[_Meep_]

I don't have any experience with this, but baby eyes are certainly weird to start with. When my baby was very small I noticed one of her eyes kept showing up white in flash photos - I Googled and became terrified that she had a rare form of childhood eye cancer. I was utterly convinced.

To cut a long story short, we paid to see a private paediatric opthalmologist. He checked both eyes thoroughly and she was fine - her right eye just had a slight squint that corrected itself.

During my frantic spate of Googling, I read a lot about eyes and it seems that some babies are just slow to get going. After two months, if they still can't track objects, that might be a cause for concern. I think you are doing all the right things though by encouraging her to look at objects and faces. It's good that your HV is on the ball too and you're getting it checked out.

Babies change so quickly and without warning! In two weeks, this could all be just an unpleasant memory. Since your baby seemed so content looking around the room, perhaps you haven't spent so much time showing her things or talking one on one with her when she is awake and alert? She might just need a little more of this type of interaction to hone this particular skill.

Since she looks around so much, have you tried moving to the opposite side of the room and walking backwards and forwards, waving your arms, etc.? You might feel a bit ridiculous, but if she follows your movements with her eyes, or turns her head or whatever, that might provide some reassurance that she CAN see?

Recently I was worried that my little girl wasn't clapping yet - then I thought about it and realised I hadn't ever really clapped in front of her. So I did and she was doing it within five minutes. She does it all the time now.

I really hope everything is ok. Try not to freak out too much - easier said than done though, I know. It's truly awful when you are scared something's wrong with your precious baby. Please let us know how you get on.

 

[_Meep_]

P.S. Mine NEVER flinched when objects were put too near her eyes and as far as I know, she still doesn't. She blinks if you clap near her face, but as she's never had anything go in her eye, I guess she doesn't know it's going to hurt. To be honest, she didn't make much eye contact either. I remember worrying that she wasn't gazing adoringly at me as I spoke to her or up at me while breastfeeding, like all the websites said she was supposed to. I don't remember when she started doing that, but she definitely does now. She's a healthy, normally-developing ten-month-old.

 

[Prinny_1]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Worrying about you're baby is so difficult as you want every thing to be perfect for them. With both my babies I have worried about things being seriously wrong, and still do. So far I am lucky that they are both healthy and well but I've had some dark days worrying about imaginary illnesses and developmental delays. I'm not trying to say your worries are unfounded, but at the moment they are unconfirmed so try to enjoy your precious baby without feeling down or panicked.

When I was a baby I was part of a leading hospital's trials on baby eyesight. My eyesight was terrible and they attempted to put me in baby glasses. Lucky for me I refused to wear them and as I grew up my eyesight gradually improved. I had my first perfect eye test at 10 years old and don't wear glasses now in my thirties. You're little girl MAY have an eyesight problem; it doesn't mean it is serious or permanent.

Big hugs to you. Hang in there and be strong. She's still so little, there's plenty of time for things to right themselves Xx

 

[Prinny_1]

P.S. Mine NEVER flinched when objects were put too near her eyes and as far as I know, she still doesn't. She blinks if you clap near her face, but as she's never had anything go in her eye, I guess she doesn't know it's going to hurt. She's a healthy, normally-developing ten-month-old.[/QUOTE

And this!

Baby eyes are strange and they all have trouble focusing on things. I was trying to show my doctor my 6 month old's eyelid a few days ago and was waving my fingers millimetres from his eye and he didn't flinch or close it! X

 

[_Meep_]

Like Prinny I too worry about serious issues and developmental delays all the time! I've 'diagnosed' my daughter with so many conditions and problems - to date, she hasn't had any of them. X

 

[Lauzybabes]

Thanks ladies,

I am do worried today i feel like i can't function. Not going to baby group etc cuz i can't face other mums and babies. Feeling like a failure.

I am a natural Worrier so pretty much have fixated on something daily since she was born. That's why it amazes me that i missed this til 5 weeks. Too busy obsessing over other stuff i guess!

I talk to her all day long but am now obsessed with waving toys etc in front of her- to no response.

Sorry to moan but feel so low today and then i feel sooo guilty for feeling miserable when i have my much wanted bubba!

Thanks for replying ladies xx

 

[_Meep_]

I know the feeling. I am an awful worrier too and it has just exploded into insanity since my LO has been here. Some days, like you say, it has been hard to function. I worry about stuff like cerebral palsy, even though my baby is right on track, which is horrible. I've been obsessed with that one for a while and I know until she starts walking, its not going to get any better!

It's messed up.

I just try to keep telling myself that I've done this all my life. 99% of my worries have never come true. The fact that I'm a worrier doesn't make it more likely that she has a problem. Conversely, if she does have a problem, worrying about it won't change it - it'll just cause stress for me AND for her.

It's so hard though. There are quite a few mums in similar boats on here - though we are all anxious about different stuff, our feelings are the same.

 

[SurpriseBub]

I worried about the same thing for the same reason- at 3 months she now loves to look into faces, smile etc. For a long time she looked over our shoulders. I think she just wasn't ready for faces!

If she is looking all around as you say, then I would think it unlikely she has eyesight problems I read that eye contact can take up to 4 months.... it sounds hopefully like baby just needs some time.

 

[SurpriseBub]

This link helped me!

https://www.parenting.com/article/10-essential-baby-milestones

 

[SurpriseBub]

Ps. It has been tough for me to learn two things as a parent:
1. Be patient
2. If you worry too much, you miss out on the joy

if you are worried about something, you should absolutely seek help. Early intervention always matters. But if those wheels are already in motion, try not to obsess and think too far ahead about what *could* be. Wait and see what the specialist says, and for baby to hit something more like 3-4 mo the before you allow yourself to worry about any long term issues. Odds are that things are fine, and on the off chance they aren't you are already doing all you can.

 

[_Meep_]

Lauzybabes, how are you doing today? Would it be possible for you to see someone privately who could check your baby's eyes for you ASAP, instead of waiting for an appointment?

 

[pinksmarties]

I have 2 boys. I never had any eye worries with DS1 but with DS2 I was the same as you. He does have a squint but I felt the same as you with regards seeing faces and objects closer, he took a lot longer to smile too. Comparing how ds1 was with how ds2 was made me even more concerned.

After being assessed for his squint he was noted to be slightly more longsighted than most babies his age so tended not to be able to focus on near objects as well. He is now 10 months old I can honestly say he is into everything and I can't see any difference between him and his brother at that age.

Get it checked out if you are worried but he may just be slower at getting his eyes in gear so to speak.

 

[AP]

Ps. It has been tough for me to learn two things as a parent:
1. Be patient
2. If you worry too much, you miss out on the joy

if you are worried about something, you should absolutely seek help. Early intervention always matters. But if those wheels are already in motion, try not to obsess and think too far ahead about what *could* be. Wait and see what the specialist says, and for baby to hit something more like 3-4 mo the before you allow yourself to worry about any long term issues. Odds are that things are fine, and on the off chance they aren't you are already doing all you can.

i cant not tell you how much i agree with this post. My daughters first year was just full of worry and i honestly struggle to remember the good times through all the fear i went through. I worried about her eyes (she had to have laser eye surgery to save her sight from ROP at about 15 weeks old) and I worried about CP. Fast forward to now she doesnt have issues with either and i really wish I had enjoyed our early days more.

The fact you have the wheels in motion so to speak, you're doing what you can.