Classic Girl
HPT House Mom!
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2016
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Hi everyone. Me again. I had a m/c back in February and a disappointing experience with my OB I've loved for years. I wrote a bit about it here
https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/miscarriage-support/2378298-currently-miscarrying.html
Let me also mention he NEVER called me after the loss until I got another BFP 6 months later. I even called over the summer to ask about checking progesterone and was blown off then as well and told it was obvious I COULD get pregnant and to just call them when I did and they'd look into it.
So, I finally got my
6 months after that loss (8 months of trying and now at age 43) and called. They drew blood and said at 10dpo my HCG was 13 and progesterone was slightly in the gray area at 8.4. So at 12 dpo they left a msg that HCG was 36 and never mentioned progesterone just made my 8 week appt. Doctor actually called me later HIMSELF and said he wanted to get me in for a scan at 6 weeks but he'd be out of town my entire 6th week so he'd get me in the day before he left at 5w3d. DH and I went and saw a gestational sac with a (hard to see but Dr could) yolk sac. Said everything looked fine and he wanted me back in exactly 2 weeks at 7w3d and to call and speak directly to HIS nurse (bypass the front desk and ask for her) to see the heartbeat.
6w1d I started spotting, then light pink bleeding and I went in at 6w2d (after calling office twice and having them say it's common and getting a bit angry demanding to be seen!) different dr as mine was out of town whom both DH and I really liked...they saw a larger gest. sac (measuring spot on) with a beautifully developed and visible yolk sac also measuring spot on. She wasn't concerned about no heartbeat yet AT ALL and couldn't see any more blood or where it came from. Never even filled a panty liner in a full day and was nothing more than brown when I wiped after pink blood the day before. No cramping, no clotting etc.
Fast forward to Thursday....10 days after spotting/bleeding started....6 days since I'd had anything at all and I was 7w3d which is when OB said he wanted 2nd scan. I had called a few days before and nurse said to call at 9:30 Thursday morning and she'd tell me when they'd get me in. I call and leave msg. She calls me back after talking to him. No one remembered...she said "were you wanting a scan today because he's slammed here and I don't think he can see you!" UMMMM NO! DH and I had both taken time off of work and gotten substitutes and we needed to KNOW if this pregnancy was indeed viable like everyone says. She got me in with their sonographer and DH and I agreed it was better than nothing.
So we go and wait for what seemed like a LONG TIME, get in the room and she does the transvaginal u/s and there was NOTHING in my uterus AT ALL. No baby, no sac, nothing.
Sonographer leaves the room for me to get dressed and comes back saying for us to wait a bit bc my Doctor wants to talk to us. DH and I basically exploded! I said "for what?? He isn't magically going to put a baby in my belly and he's had NO time for us in the last 8 months why, especially when he didn't remember telling me he wanted to see me PLUS was too busy and couldn't make time, does he suddenly have the time now??"
I've loved my doctor for 10 years..,been through 1 full term pregnancy, delivery, yearly paps...2 of which were abnormal, 2 colposcopies, 1 LEEP procedure and one small surgery ALL of which he was AMAZING! He is funny, calm, and would always personally call me every time with results/news etc. But since we got our first BFP (then loss) I feel like I've had to call and DEMAND my own prenatal care. I feel like a number and no longer a patient.
So we stormed out....grieving our second loss in a row and angry. I wanted to tell my Dr how we felt after being blown off in February (and how his office knew I had lost the pregnancy but the front desk still called to happily remind me of my ultrasound....ugh) but the only time I saw him with this one was so quick and rushed (the quick 5w3d scan to see the sac) and he had a student with him and I didn't want to talk to him about that in front of a student.
I guess the one bright side is that by the time we knew it was gone....it was completely gone. I guess my body reabsorbed it and the hormonal roller coaster I went thru last week that I attributed to pregnancy hormones was really the rapid loss of hormones from the m/c and that's over too. Yes I am very sad but I'm able to work and keep my mind off things. I took my last cbd Thursday when we came home from the scan and it said "Not Pregnant." First time I've ever been happy to see that as I know everything is gone and I'm now likely on cd12 if I'm going to continue trying.
If I am ever able to conceive again, we will certainly find a new practice. I am just not very hopeful and angry at the glib way we've been treated. I'm sorry this is so long. I just needed to get it out.
https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/miscarriage-support/2378298-currently-miscarrying.html
Let me also mention he NEVER called me after the loss until I got another BFP 6 months later. I even called over the summer to ask about checking progesterone and was blown off then as well and told it was obvious I COULD get pregnant and to just call them when I did and they'd look into it.
So, I finally got my
6 months after that loss (8 months of trying and now at age 43) and called. They drew blood and said at 10dpo my HCG was 13 and progesterone was slightly in the gray area at 8.4. So at 12 dpo they left a msg that HCG was 36 and never mentioned progesterone just made my 8 week appt. Doctor actually called me later HIMSELF and said he wanted to get me in for a scan at 6 weeks but he'd be out of town my entire 6th week so he'd get me in the day before he left at 5w3d. DH and I went and saw a gestational sac with a (hard to see but Dr could) yolk sac. Said everything looked fine and he wanted me back in exactly 2 weeks at 7w3d and to call and speak directly to HIS nurse (bypass the front desk and ask for her) to see the heartbeat. 6w1d I started spotting, then light pink bleeding and I went in at 6w2d (after calling office twice and having them say it's common and getting a bit angry demanding to be seen!) different dr as mine was out of town whom both DH and I really liked...they saw a larger gest. sac (measuring spot on) with a beautifully developed and visible yolk sac also measuring spot on. She wasn't concerned about no heartbeat yet AT ALL and couldn't see any more blood or where it came from. Never even filled a panty liner in a full day and was nothing more than brown when I wiped after pink blood the day before. No cramping, no clotting etc.
Fast forward to Thursday....10 days after spotting/bleeding started....6 days since I'd had anything at all and I was 7w3d which is when OB said he wanted 2nd scan. I had called a few days before and nurse said to call at 9:30 Thursday morning and she'd tell me when they'd get me in. I call and leave msg. She calls me back after talking to him. No one remembered...she said "were you wanting a scan today because he's slammed here and I don't think he can see you!" UMMMM NO! DH and I had both taken time off of work and gotten substitutes and we needed to KNOW if this pregnancy was indeed viable like everyone says. She got me in with their sonographer and DH and I agreed it was better than nothing.
So we go and wait for what seemed like a LONG TIME, get in the room and she does the transvaginal u/s and there was NOTHING in my uterus AT ALL. No baby, no sac, nothing.
Sonographer leaves the room for me to get dressed and comes back saying for us to wait a bit bc my Doctor wants to talk to us. DH and I basically exploded! I said "for what?? He isn't magically going to put a baby in my belly and he's had NO time for us in the last 8 months why, especially when he didn't remember telling me he wanted to see me PLUS was too busy and couldn't make time, does he suddenly have the time now??"
I've loved my doctor for 10 years..,been through 1 full term pregnancy, delivery, yearly paps...2 of which were abnormal, 2 colposcopies, 1 LEEP procedure and one small surgery ALL of which he was AMAZING! He is funny, calm, and would always personally call me every time with results/news etc. But since we got our first BFP (then loss) I feel like I've had to call and DEMAND my own prenatal care. I feel like a number and no longer a patient.
So we stormed out....grieving our second loss in a row and angry. I wanted to tell my Dr how we felt after being blown off in February (and how his office knew I had lost the pregnancy but the front desk still called to happily remind me of my ultrasound....ugh) but the only time I saw him with this one was so quick and rushed (the quick 5w3d scan to see the sac) and he had a student with him and I didn't want to talk to him about that in front of a student.
I guess the one bright side is that by the time we knew it was gone....it was completely gone. I guess my body reabsorbed it and the hormonal roller coaster I went thru last week that I attributed to pregnancy hormones was really the rapid loss of hormones from the m/c and that's over too. Yes I am very sad but I'm able to work and keep my mind off things. I took my last cbd Thursday when we came home from the scan and it said "Not Pregnant." First time I've ever been happy to see that as I know everything is gone and I'm now likely on cd12 if I'm going to continue trying.
If I am ever able to conceive again, we will certainly find a new practice. I am just not very hopeful and angry at the glib way we've been treated. I'm sorry this is so long. I just needed to get it out.
I've also found that we really have to demand care and fight for our pregnancies. I've had a horrendous experience similar to that , as well. I hope you are able to find a practice with more compassionate doctors and nurses and have a healthy little one with you soon. 
