Back here again :-(

[xxsteffyxx]

Partner and I split up this week he was sons step dad as mine and Harvey's real dad split up when he was 3 weeks old. He see's him for 2hrs a week.

I'm gutted. It was my choice because things had become nasty at home and I didn't love him anymore, but since splitting up all the truth has come out, all the nasty comments and words have started to creep out of his vile mouth and I feel so betrayed.

He has called me nasty names and apparently I have 'killed' a part of his mum and dad because they can now no longer see my son, I never said that they couldn't see him, but at the moment I thought that was what was best for Harvey.

I don't feel as though Harvey seeing them would be the best thing for him because after all they are not biologically connected to him, one day they may have their own grandchildren and then Harvey would be turfed out? I don't know, I just feel as though it's best

I have had to change all of my claims back from joint to single but I am scared to change tax credits. Once I change tax credits I don't know how long it will take before my claim is back up and running again and I'm worried about money. I do work. It only part time at £550 a month and then £340 of that is deducted of childcare.

I'm so worried xx

 

[Beanonorder]

Ah steffy I am sorry! *hugs*
I'm sorry I don't have any real advice but didn't want to read and run.
I know its hard but just keep reminding yourself that you have made the best decision for yourself and for Harvey.

 

[Ceejay123]

Oh Steph! I'm so sorry, this is all you need with everything else.

You know where I am if you need an ear

When it comes to Harvey, at the end of the day you know best... If you think they'll be worthwhile grandparents to him, then that's brilliant. But if you feel they're going to use him / hurt him in the end, it's your decision. He's still young, it's better to make that decision now.

Things will get better, stay strong. x x

 

[AJC]

Aww Steph i hope you are ok How awful of him to be like that, especially after things you have been through together recently, i'm so sorry xxx

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I'm sorry for everything going on.

But I have to say that if they are good grandparents to him and love him as their own grandson, then he's not going to be turfed, and it won't be fair for him to lose his grandparents.

My youngest daughter isn't biologically my ex-husband's, but he is legally her dad. He's the only dad she has known since the day she was born. His parents love her like she is theirs and she doesn't get treated any different than the grandchildren who are biologically related to them. It doesn't even occur to anyone anymore. If the relationship is strong and they love him, then don't take that away from any of them.