Back to reality

[Longwait4baby]

I had a miscarriage last week and I am going back to work today for the first time since it happened. I'm feeling really apprehensive about it as some of my work friends new I was pregnant and I'm sure now know I lost my baby.

Just wondered if anyone had any words of advise for me on how to deal with the "pity looks" and questions without breaking down.

I'm feeling very tearful. My hubby says he doesn't think I ready to go back but I have to face it eventually so might as well get it over and done with sooner rather than later right??

 

[Angels4]

Hi hun,

So sorry about your loss

Ive had 4 miscarriages so totally understand what you are going through.

I didnt actually tell my workmates I was pregnant so noone actually knew, but a colleague of mine did.

She ended up calling our boss to tell him she would come in late and to have all.of us who knew to be called into a meeting when she arrived. She then told us all at the same time so she didnt need to repeat in a hundred times and it was an emotional meeting. She asked her to be easy with her the next few weeks which we all understood and to be there if she needed us, which we all were.

We also respected her for doing so and checked up on her every now and then, but did not force her to talk about it. We only did if she brought it up.

From going through the same thing, I can tell you that people are so supportive. It is also ok to cry when you need to. I bottled everything up for my first too and hated it when it all hit me at once. I now know if I need to cry I do...i just bring makeup to work just in case!

Good luck...im sure you will be ok.

But we are all here if you need us too xx

 

[LPF]

I had a miscarriage end of July and went back to work 2 weeks ago. 2 close colleagues and my boss knew as I was very poorly after and signed off for a while.

My first day was horrible, I was very teary with all the 'where have you been' questions, the pregnant people and especially the girl who had announced her pregnancy while I was off who had the same due date as me . I didn't really care about work and found it difficult to look enthusiastic. I had to force myself not to cry when talking to my boss with my back to work which is not like me, I'm not a cryer!

After my first day, it was much easier. Sometimes I even forget....

 

[hollowmac]

So sorry for your loss. It was kinda hard for me too cuz all of my co workers knew and only my boss knew that I had miscarried but going back to work helped me. I did take a week off but it gave me some kind of normalcy when I went back. It was hard to tell people when they asked how the baby was doing and I had to tell them but everyone has been so sweet. If u need to cry, cry. If u need to scream, scream. I hope it will get easier for u soon. It takes time and take the time u need. If u feel ready, then go for it, if not, then take your hubby's advice and take more time off. Do what feels right for u, hun.

 

[bubblz82]

I am sorry you are going through this.

I work in a school. Most of tge staff knew I was pregnant. I lost my baby first day of tge school breaking up for summer. Close workmates knew what happened. 1 girl was due 4 weeks in front of me.

I took 4 weeks of. I am an emotional person. We tried so long. Have had a bad year and don't want my depression back.
As weeks past I stayed in touch with the pregnant girl. We met once before she was due back to work. ( I work all year) it was so hard. I cried.

Following week all staff was bsck. Each day I had more people coming up to me. I had to tell people who didn't know. I had to relive it all again.

Thankfully the kids didn't know but I now have to deal with the excitement they have for the other girl and her pregnancy. I am happy for her but trying small steps to get me through my loss.

Cry if you have to. Hide if you have to and get the hugs you need x

 

[Longwait4baby]

Thank you all for your replies. It wasn't so bad. Everyone was really nice and kinda left me to it which is what I had hoped for. My boss has been great and told me to take time out if I need to. I think it helped going back to be honest as it took my mind of things for a while and gave me something else to think about.

Today is another day so we'll see how we go xxxx