bad body image at 6!

[Uvlollypop]

my step daughter whos just turned 6 has started making comments about how shes got a fat belly and that mummy tells her she needs to eat more fruit cause shes fat and things like that.

it makes me so sad, what can i do?!

we dont have Bratz or high school musical in our house because i believe they force a stupid body image on to children, we encourage her to like animals and fairy's which seems to work well.

shes a wee bit chubby but james was really chubby when he was that age, her mum and her sister are really thin.
ive been telling her about all sorts of body shapes and that bigger bodys are just as beautiful as skinny minny sporty figures.

i dont know what else to do but i dont want ther to get worse, trying to nip it in the bud

 

[Serene123]

Her mum wants shot!

 

[Uvlollypop]

her mums a proper muppet. we found out this week that shes been shouting abuse at some girl who used to be friends with her accross the estate they live on, shes 30 and needs to grow the feck up.
shes so horrid to step daughter shes told her shes going to shave her head before!

 

[Serene123]

OMG. That must be so frustrating, not being able to do anything and all. I'd probably end up kidnapping her.

 

[jacky24]

O.k please don't shoot me....

I come from a BIG family of INLAWS, all ranging from 4years old at 100 pounds and FIL is 48 and 385pounds, my FIL mother is 352pounds, and my OH is 275pounds.

So before anyone say jacky you are such a bitch i am 211pounds myself at the moment.

Now i understand were your OH stepdaugters mother is coming from, funny enough we had this conversation on saturday, i agree that you need to do what is possible to motivate a child to look and eat healthy... I feel it is firstly the perants responsibility as in our case with the 4year old at 100 pounds it is her MOTHERS fault, as she wants a bag of 750g chips she has it, this girl eats more than me but no one tells her stop eating... Now the situation that you find yourself in is diffrent but i would do the same if i see my child getting a tad bit on the overweight side for a child....

I will add in a pic of ashley, but note this child never stops eating and she eats 24/7 a day. So as i said the situation is diffrent, but i have this child by my house every 3weeks and she cries alot about how the children tease her and she has changed school 4times in 1year, so to spare any other further heartace i might understand where she is coming from.
And at the age of 4 she has strech marks on her belly, legs and she even wears a bra now... aged 4 and wears 13-14year old clothes... it is a hard reality.

 

[AppleBlossom]

Omg, what an evil cow! And my little sister is 8 but since she was about 6 she's been obssessed with what she wears and always looks at herself in the mirror. At that age I was too busy digging up millipedes in the garden and crashing my bike into walls!

 

[Uvlollypop]

jacky i understand where your coming from kids need to be educated about food. they need to be taught that eating burgers and chips isnt healthy for you but she eats well, and her mother tells her shes fat, she actually uses that word.
it makes me so sad that such a pretty little thing has such massive worrys about her image shes 6 shouldnt she be riding her bike and climbing trees??

heres a pic of amy from last week to show you how 'FAT' she is


https://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g169/uvlolly/2008_08070207.jpg

edit that swim suit is aged 5-6

 

[jacky24]

OMG molly she isn't even fat!!!!! She has such skinny legs and all, she looks so tiny and sweet.

Honostly... if i was you i would go sort her mother out...

What does she weigh???

I mean look at my OH niece at 4 100pounds HUGE DIFFRENCE....

 

[Uvlollypop]

im not sure what she weighs but shes about 4 foot 11 and wears up to age 7 clothes depending on where they are brought from.

she already says things like 'oh i cant eat that its got too much fat in it' bearing in mind i dont buy packet or processed food so nothing i cook has 'too much' fat in it. i try telling her that you need fat in your diet to keep you healthy and as long as you dont have high fat things all the time its ok

i can just see her turning all anorexic at like 13

 

[jacky24]

Same situation as im in, shley gets so upset when people tell her she is fat, she is like the mini of me, as i have this flabby belly from pregnancy but she is 4....

And she gets so angry she just eats more and more every time i see her.

Ye it is diffcult but unfortunately, maby same as yours if i had to say something i would be the bitch in the story, as i have spoken to ashleys mum but charmain hasn't spoken to me in months now since we had the talk about ashleys weight. And for a 4 year old to wear 13-14year clothes... and i always fight with her as she lifts her shirt and all but she actually has boobs at 4....

But i know ashley will also end up very obese or anoresic... it is a very diffcult situation but the only person to step in now is you OH...

*tell you OH sort his ex out* or you will

let us know what you decide to do....

 

[Uvlollypop]

id love to sort his ex out am waiting for the day!! lol
shes been so nasty through their divorce and over their son who died.... grrr

he wont say anything incase she trys to stop him seeing amy so its a bit rubbish

i can only hope that what im doing already gets into her head

 

[leeanne]

My stepdaughter, Geneva, went through this same thing. Her mom used to bug her about her weight at 4/5 years of age. As a result, she sneaks food when everyone is sleeping. Trust me, she's not that sneaky when she leaves all the wrappers all over and under beds. She will be 13 in October.

However, I keep telling my OH that that was her mom's fault. I can see that girl having eating issues.

She loves healthy food and has since she was young. So instead of telling her not to eat this or that or so much, she should have had the opportunity to eat fruits and vegetables. These should have been available to her at all times and the junk food taken out of the house.

 

[Mynxie]

Oh huni, that's just so wrong of her!

She looks like she has a pretty average figure for a 6 year old!

Maybe now is time for a very loose talk about eating disorders? Saying how it's ok to want to look good but some people want to look good so bad that they make themselves poorly and that it's parents job to make sure that children eat all the right things, just enough fruit and veg and meat and fat etc etc becuase you need a little bit of everything?

 

[brownhairedmom]

One of my best friends growing up was in this situation. She was a small girl but every kid gets chubby in grade 4-5. Her mother was paranoid over her own weight and her biggest fear was seeing her daughter get fat. Now Steph's 21 years old and she's been dealing with anorexia since she was 16.


The only thing you can do Molly is keep telling her that she's beautiful and provide healthy food for her. Hopefully it'll stick.

 

[Carley]

Why are people so focused on numbers for weight? I'm not teaching my daughter about being this weight or that weight. No my main focus is teaching her to be healthy, to eat healthy, to be active. That having junk food once and a while won't hurt you. I believe if a child eats healthy, is active, is happy then their weight will be what it should be for them.

 

[lorrilou]

she looks totally fine to me!!

i totally agree with encouraging healthy eating but to say that she needs to because shes fat is totally irresponsible!!

nicole is 5 and keeps saying that shes fat! shes so bloody skinny that i have an absolute nightmare buying her trousers. some of her skirts are age 3-4 for gods sake!!

 

[Uvlollypop]

her mums a silly women i dont think she realizes what untold damage she could be doing, ive spoken about eating disorders and she understands its not healthy not to eat but its not healthy to eat too much she seemed to understand.

we tell her shes beautiful every day

 

[sam's mum]

we tell her shes beautiful every day

Sounds like you're doing exactly what you need to do. Her mum is an idiot - she looks gorgeous, and just like any 6 year old! As long as she's eating healthily and getting exercise, her mum shouldn't even be mentioning her weight! Most kids go through a phase where they're a bit chubby, but it's nothing that they should be worrying about. Horrible woman x

 

[nightkd]

She looks just the right size for a 5/6 year old. I never worried about my weight, I was a chubby baby (couldn't wear dresses with sleeves as they cut into me) and an averagely chubby 5/6 year old. I don't remember people ever telling me I was fat or anything.. I'm a size 8 now. So telling a kid of that age she's fat is ridiculous.

It's just puppy fat and as long as she eats healthily and keeps active, she'll grow up into whatever shape she's destined to be. I only really lost the last of my puppy fat at about 16.. It's normal. I'd worry if my 5/6 yr old didn't have a chubby belly etc. It's the way kids develop!!!

Mum needs to grow up and as long as the little girl understands about being healthy rather than being skinny then it's fine!