Bad Paranoia is affecting my ability to be a good mum :(

[EllaAndLyla]

Before LO I was a little bit paranoid but just the normal things like walking down the road in the dark and being a bit worried about someone following you etc. Now that I have had LO my paranoia has just got so much worse to the point where I am scared in my own house and really struggle to go into the kitchen at night and make LO up a feed. I know it sounds stupid, I leave all the lights on in the house, I cant look out the windows and I sometimes even run back into my room
Thats not the only thing either, I am paranoid whilst walking down the street during the day, I am paranoid when OH is away because I think that he is doing naughtys behind my back etc, I even get paranoid that he is watching porn or something. I get paranoid when LO looks at a certain place in the room for a while because my stupid brain thinks something like 'OMG there must be a ghost there'. Even looking at the stars gets me paranoid about the stupidest things like aliens or giant asteriods that are going to destroy the world. I know deep down that none of it is true, but in my head I cant help but think it is!! I cant even watch tv without thinking someone is watching me from outside or something and there are very few places that I actually feel 'safe'.. please don't think I am a bad mum

Does any one relate to me? Has anyone gone to there GP about it or anything, it is getting to the point where soon I will not beable to be a good mum to my baby because I will be too scared to even leave my bed I want to take medication for it but once again my paranoid brain thinks that it will make it worse and it will just fuck me up even more.
Sorry for the annoying post but I need to get it off my chest as its affecting my every day life and my ability to be a good mum x

 

[fairywings]

You're not a bad mum at all! I used to paranoid like that when I was agoraphobic. I did not leave the house for near enough 5 years, so I can empathize with how you feel. I don't think it makes you a bad mum at all, but I do think you should seek help.

The paranoid thoughts about the doctors I can relate to - I used to think the same about medication and what have you, but it is a symptom of everything, and one that should be dealt with. I got councelling in the end - started off as house visits, as obviously I was agoraphobic. It did help.

I hope you see that there is nothing to be afraid of with seing your doctor and telling him how you feel.

Also feel free to PM me if you want to talk more.

 

[confused27]

hi sounds like you have anxiety if you go to your docs they should give you something like propranol which will help control the feelings in your stomch gl xx

 

[Jamiesmummy22]

I have severe OCD ok so its a wee bit different but I get paranoid lying in bed at night thinking have I chcked the cookers off or are the doors locked even though I have banged and checked them thousands of times. I also get days where I find it physically so hard to leave the house thinking someones wtching me leave and when ive left they will have the opportunity to break in. sounds like you have some sort of anxiety problem, hope you get it sorted out hun I can understand how you are feeling even though our problems are kinda different its still really hard here if you need to talk xx