BD after miscarriage

[Las78]

I miscarried our little boy at 17w+5 6 weeks ago, as soon as the bleeding stopped we started TTC, initially I was desperate to fall pregnant again and was really into it, in fact couldn't get enough of my OH at first but now for the last couple of weeks have really gone off sex, totally uninterested eventhough I really want to get pregnant again. I'm avoiding showing OH affection in case he takes it the wrong way, I deliberately go to bed at different times and basically do anything to get out of it, OH thinks I'm going off him eventhough I've told him I'm not.

I am feeling very confused at the minute - I want to get pregnant but don't want to have sex - bit of a problem lol. I can't explain to OH why I don't want to have sex cause I don't even know other than I'm not interested. I just don't know if it's a deep rooted worry of having another m/c or if it is a result of the m/c.

I'm probably not making any sense so thanks for reading if you got this far - just really wondered if any one else had this problem?

 

[Widger]

I think it is probably you worrying about having a mc again. As I just said in my post I'm scared about the possibility of another one. I wasn't up for sex for a while too and think subconsciously I was worried about getting pregnant, even though I wanted to...

Lets face it - after a miscarriage we turn into a bunch of weirdos. We don't know why we feel emotional, don't know why we go off sex.... haha... you know what I mean, we just don't know ourselves anymore... no book tells you about this. Thank god for the bnb forums. At least we know we are not the only ones xx

 

[Las78]

Thanks hun. You know that bit about not knowing ourselves anymore really rung true, that is very much how I feel at the minute. I got to 30 and thought I had my whole life figured out and now I wonder what I was thinking!!

Lol re turning into a bunch of wierdos, I do feel like that sometimes when I say to OH that I want a baby and then avoid sex - poor bloke he must be a little confused right now too. Bless him, I am lucky that he is so understanding.

 

[toby2]

i am a bit like that this month,doing everything i can to have a happy and healthy preg except the sex part dont kno what its about but is such a relief to know its not just me

 

[rachjim98]

Well, not sure if this will be good news or not... Our loss was in November (@20weeks) and to be honest DH and I have only had about a dozen(12-14) times before the loss we we DTD 3-4 times a week.
At first we couldnt untill 6 weeks later anyway because of the delievery and infection blah blah blah. The first time we did DH was so scared of hurting me and I think the whole process of thinking something was already wrong due to the loss was on his mind. To say the least it was not enjoyed by either of us but as time went on it faded and we did start to enjoy it again.

I am sure it is your head playing games with you and the emotional toll that come with the loss of a baby is terrible. Maybe we should all get together and write our own, Messed up women after MC book.. LOL I would by it

Sorry if TMI

 

[RobenR]

After our m/c on 5 Feb, I DH and I also started TTC again after the bleeding stopped and I was desperate for it. But almost immediately I found that all the joy had gone from BDing and that I was no longer able to climax, either due to desperation to get pg again or from pressure to get pg again immediately.

I'm sorry for your loss and hope that you and your DH are able to get back to whatever is normal for you. Just don't keep him out of the loop, I found that was the most important thing. As long as your husband understands what your headspace is, he'll probably be very supportive.

Good luck!