Bed Rest & an Annoying MIL

[sunnylove]

I was diagnosed with a pretty serious case of incompetent cervix at 19 weeks and have been on strict bed rest ever since. The first 4 weeks I was at home, and MIL was trying to be helpful, she lives in the same town etc so she was over a lot. Sometimes she would just walk in the house completely unannounced and another time I had to get up and unlock the front door because she never said she was coming over. We don't have a good relationship because she has been rude to me and is extremely awkward with me (ie, she does not say anything to me whenever I see her like hello, then has the balls to complain that I don't talk to her much since being on bed rest). I find her invasive and she does not know boundaries.

I was admitted into the hospital 1 week ago. Nothing really changed, they just wanted me here at viability if something happened. We weren't huge on telling MIL right away because she is annoying about stuff like this and freaks out. She kept calling and texting my DH all day, which she does everyday and he texted her that he would call her in a bit, but didn't tell her we were in the hospital.

Apparently what happens after that is she goes to our house unannounced to check in. We weren't home so she, of course, calls the hospital and finds that I'm here. So without talking to anybody, she comes over about an hour after I'm admitted. DH had to go home to grab things so he wasn't here. And she just walks into my room and doesn't knock or say anything. I am fuming. She insensitively asks if I lost the baby and asks invasive questions. I tell her she should not have come without talking to one of us first. I tell her we would have called if it was important and I then went anonymous at the hospital so no one could get in without a code.

Then today when DH was taking a break at home, she waltzes into our back door (front was locked) and doesn't even announce herself and walks in on my husband in his boxers. Herr excuse was "I thought you might be sleeping!" Like that makes it better. DH kicked her out.

She really wants to see me tomorrow but I don't want her to. DH thinks I should. Tips or advice?

 

[kassiaethne]

why can she get into your house? does she have a key? because I'd be changing the locks and telling her this has to stop, strait out. it doesn't seem like she understands anything subtle and niceness. Time to be cold and strait up.

 

[pola17]

Ugh, I have no advice! She sounds like an annoying lady!

Why would she want to see you, anyways?
Maybe telling her what annoys you might help? I guess it's better to draw the line so she won't cross it again!

 

[sunnylove]

She doesn't have a key to our house (although she recently asked for one!), but our doors are usually unlocked. That is definitely changing though.

She wants to see me because she cares, I guess but in a weird way. Like she will bring over flowers for me but won't even say hi to me or look at me when she walks in. On the flip side sometimes she sits down on my bed and asks me really personal questions ("are you doing kegels to tighten your vagina?"). SHE IS SO ODD.

 

[pola17]

Well, it's your opportunity to tell her kindly that you feel uncomfortable with her behavior and by the things she asks. That even tho you appreciate her help, you'd like her to respect your privacy by simply calling first..... Then lock all doors!!

 

[Emma&Freya]

Id be telling her not to ask personal questions and to make sure all doors are locked.

How far does she live from you?

If she asks stuff about your vagina again ask her is hers tight now

 

[megsw1994]

that would drive me crazy, it would be like being a child all over again and worrying about mum walking in..
i suggest getting DH to speak to her after all it is his mum invading on you, you shouldnt have to worry about locking your doors so she cant get in, its your own home, hope it works out for you cos if she does that once babies here it will irritate you sooo much more!

 

[Noo]

I'd be really annoyed but she sounds like the has no idea what is socially acceptable - A little like my son and he has Aspergers. Have you tried sitting down with all three of you and discuss your concerns?

 

[CandyDay]

was she like this before or just since you were put on bedrest? Perhapsshe is stressed out about what is going on and she doesn't know how to handle it? Especially if this is her first grandchild perhaps she is worried something will happen to her grandchild, so she is worried about all 3 of you so she is acting like this. Not that the makes her behaviour acceptable. I think your hubby needs to sit his mother down and tell her she needs to make arrangements to see you and not just stop in as it's more stressful to you then helpful. Tell her you know she is concerned but she cant just stop by unannounced as you need to take care of yourself and your LO.