Behaviour tips for 5 year old

[babycrazy1706]

Please can you throw some tips at me that you have used with your kids of a similar age.
He's recently started getting into trouble at school, not listening, shouting out instead of putting up his hand, squabbling with other kids, rushing his work, the teacher said he's doing well with his reading writing and math, he's just letting himself down with his constant silly behaviour

Tonight whe we got in from school I told him to get straight into his pjs and go to bed, got him up for some food and then back into bed.

Over the past few weeks I've taken iPad away, tv away, snacks and treats away, made behaviour charts, I've tried really praising him when he is good but he just reverts back

For the next few days I'm going to try giving him no attention when he's bad ( goes straight to bedroom after school) and when he behaves I'm going to give him lots of time to play games together and I've said we can have hot chocolate and marshmallows whilst we play. I'm really hoping this will work. I want to show him he can get attention for being good

I feel so overwhelmed with it all, I don't want to be the parent with the naughty kid, makes me feel like a failure

Thanks xx

 

[Zephram]

I don’t know that punishing him at home will work to change his behaviour at school. Then he’s facing negative consequences at school and at home so it’s no wonder he’s not behaving well, he’s probably not feeling great. I would try to sit down with him and talk about how he’s feeling at school and see if there is a reason for his behaviour. I’d set expectations of what good behaviour is. A meeting with the teacher were you try to work out strategies as a team also sounds good.

 

[bsbmom]

Good for your for working with your child's teacher. As a former teacher before I was a mom full time, I know your child's teacher appreciates it. Between students and my own children, I would say that kids crave boundaries and expectations and consistency in the follow through is the most important. I LOVED the book "Boundaries with Kids" by Cloud and Townsend. Maybe it may help your situation! Good luck!

 

[babycrazy1706]

Thank you bsbmom. I'm trying

 

[SarahBear]

I don't think lack of attention when he's "bad" will be the most effective approach. These would be good days to have a good sit down discussion and problem solve together how to improve. Then some quality family time would do him good. Unless the behavior is extreme, I'd leave the consequence giving to the school. Having consequences carry over to home can help for some kids but it would be more like earning an incentive, not denying human contact. I'd also look at whether or not the school is setting him up for success or failure.

 

[Dawnlouise30]

My son (5 year old) had similar issues at school. At first I was punishing him when we got home from school too. It only took me a week to realise that in effect he was doubly being punished, once at school (would lose playtime or other priveladges) and then I'd take TV away at home or remove treats, plus I'd nag him all the way home, poor boy.
Now I let school deal with school issues and it's made for a calmer home life. We work with school - ie they have a behaviour strategy in place we use it at home for continuity. If he has had a bad school day I do tell him I'm sad by it, but tomorrow is another day and I know he will try harder. I then leave it at that and we continue evening activities as normal. X

 

[babycrazy1706]

My son (5 year old) had similar issues at school. At first I was punishing him when we got home from school too. It only took me a week to realise that in effect he was doubly being punished, once at school (would lose playtime or other priveladges) and then I'd take TV away at home or remove treats, plus I'd nag him all the way home, poor boy.
Now I let school deal with school issues and it's made for a calmer home life. We work with school - ie they have a behaviour strategy in place we use it at home for continuity. If he has had a bad school day I do tell him I'm sad by it, but tomorrow is another day and I know he will try harder. I then leave it at that and we continue evening activities as normal. X

Thank you for the reply!
Yes I've realised this too. Im not willing to make home life a misery for all of us. I was feeling really depressed and desperate about it all. I've now really made a point of us having a nice time together at home, we play games every evening before bed and he gets to have his special night light on if he's been good, I'm making really clear and firm boundaries and following through with every little thing. I seem to have taken back control and he's finally listening

School have been way more positive in the last week too. Happy days

 

[Bevziibubble]

I'm so glad things have been better lately and school are much more positive

 

[babycrazy1706]

Thank you bev!!

 

[SarahBear]

Yay, nice job! I hope this continues for you.

 

[Dawnlouise30]

I'm so glad to see things are more positive xxx