Being brave enough to believe...

[Megg33k]

It made me cry that you cried for me! Lol. Thank you! So happy to see you in 2nd tri!

I'm struggling again. My first bub stopped growing at 5+2... Same as I am today. And my second didn't get that far. Plus, I feel like all my symptoms have disappeared today. Why today of all days?

I just want something undeniable! I want something to make me feel better. I need more reassurance! That test only satisfied me for a few hours! Lol

 

[hb1]

Probably being the day it is means you're producing more adrenalin as you're worried so that might counteract your symptoms - they'll be back with a vengence I'm sure

hx

 

[Megg33k]

Hopefully! I have a 4 hour trip and nausea would be really inconvenient and reassuring. I hope the inconvenience will be enough for Mother Nature to oblige!

 

[Mizze]

Aw Megg hope you get your symptoms back but its real early for them to be regular so do try not to worry if you dont. I know how freakin hard that is - been there done that but do try not to stress out.

Mizze xxx

 

[Megg33k]

On top of everything, I saw a spot of pink on my tissue last night! I sort of melted down until a friend pointed out that my progesterone suppositories can cause that sort of thing. And, it didn't look like I was bleeding... It was just a dot... like from a very localized place. I'm thinking its actually probably from irritation resulting from weeks of the suppositories!

Oddly, I've found the strength to believe again today! I've decided that I can't change anything and I've got no good reason to think that there's a problem. So, now I'm determined to get good news and amazing photos at the scan on Friday! We'll see how long this lasts. I feel crazy going back and forth between positive and negative.

Also, got a few symptoms back already. Its like they took a day off just to screw with my head!

 

[Mizze]

Yeah they do that, symptoms - and when the babies are bigger - they do that to you too - just to freak you out, I swear they are all little devils. My LO is now 4 days over but if she has a quiet few hours im worrying myself sick.

Dont stress too much about the spot of pink - as you say there can be many reasons for that. PMA is a great thing - trully its what kept me sane this time around after losing 2 at 6 weeks but not knowing for 3-4 weeks after.

I have now had a complete turn around and from obsessively checking my knickers for absence of pink from day one to week 38 I am now checking obsessively to see if there is pink and its the start of my show.

Hang on in there hon. Glad you are having a good day and here is to a very happy 2011.

Mizze xx

 

[Megg33k]

They never give us a rest on the worrying! I hope your LO shows up soon! You can have all my pink from here on out!

Its hard to know that mine were lost around 4-5 weeks and I didn't know until 10-11 weeks. That's a long time of feeling like a fool! But, I know its nothing I could have changed. I just hate that it took so long to find out.

 

[tinybutterfly]

oh i know the feeling of worry.
i lost our first at 8 weeks, i was a complete MESS for our ultrasound at 8+4,
i was soooooo sure it had gone wrong again, i didn't even dare to look at the screen at first!

i'm glad you've found some positivity back!
there is no reason at all why history would repeat itself now is there?
that's something i had to learn to accept, it's not bc it happened before that it will never turn out great.

 

[Megg33k]

You're right, Tibs. And, I know I'm doing all I can right now. We had amazing quality embryos who were strong enough to keep growing and have at least 1 find a cozy home. There's HCG being pumped out at levels I've never seen before. I had the surgery to remove my polyps that could have caused problems in the past. I'm on progsterone supplements. I'm on baby aspirin. If it doesn't work out, I know there's nothing more I could have possibly done to save this baby. And, I can only hope that what we're doing is enough! The past doesn't dictate the future... and every pregnancy is like a new experience... right? So, I should shut up and enjoy it!

 

[cacahuete]

Hey Hun, it's good you've got such a positive outlook!! I'm still not able to chance my status, or put a ticker on!! I'm 6+1 today ! I'm waiting until I go for my scan in a couple of weeks!

 

[goddess25]

Its tough huh when the symptoms disappear I found from 4-7 weeks my symptoms were pretty variable, around one day and gone the next but once I got to 7 weeks omg no respite until 16 weeks but it was a constant reassurance I suppose that everything was ok. You are now passed one milestone so lets concentrate on that for now and take one day at a time.

There was a big difference to your test so hold on to that also .

 

[Megg33k]

I'm definitely holding on... I tested again today and its SO dark... I'm pretty sure I can't be bothered to worry today at all!

 

[tinybutterfly]

^^ good, bc you shouldn't!

 

[Lawa]

Firstly megg woop woop congrats!
secondly I know how hard it is Hunni I really do. I am 10 weeks this week and have will have had 6 scans tomorrow all is looking good bugs measures exactly and a hb of 164 I have no symptoms to speak of and feel so disconnected to my body.

It truly is the longest most painfull period at the moment and I am waiting for it to get better I keep giving myself little milestones they help for short periods of time.

Try and relax I know easier said than done live each day for that moment and know we are all here for you.

Loads of cuddles!

 

[Megg33k]

Firstly megg woop woop congrats!
secondly I know how hard it is Hunni I really do. I am 10 weeks this week and have will have had 6 scans tomorrow all is looking good bugs measures exactly and a hb of 164 I have no symptoms to speak of and feel so disconnected to my body.

It truly is the longest most painfull period at the moment and I am waiting for it to get better I keep giving myself little milestones they help for short periods of time.

Try and relax I know easier said than done live each day for that moment and know we are all here for you.

Loads of cuddles!

OMG! Yay for 10 weeks! I can't wait to be there! I'm SO excited for you!

 

[Lawa]

Thanks sweetie been the longest 6 weeks of my life!

 

[Tulip]

10 weeks! Go Lawa, you so deserve this!

 

[Lawa]

Think I may start a journal! lol

 

[Megg33k]

You did... and I'm stalking it!

Funny that I'd find the bravery on the day I get pink discharge and then freak out. But, I'm back to calmer again.