Being selfish

[LadyAphrodity]

Ever since I got pregnant my husband has been an ass. This was planned but like the week we found out he told me that he was about to tell me that he thinks he isn't ready and we should stop trying. I have no clue why but I thought the farther I got the better it would be. But I got sick within a few weeks had morning sickness we'll all day sickness and was basically bed ridden for 2 months. In those 2 months my husband spent all his time in a seperate room playing games doing anything but spending time with me. He didn't step up to help with the house. Normally I clean and cook cause he works and I don't. But I couldn't hardly go from my bed to bathroom so I wasn't doing anything and my house became a pic sty and he didn't do anything to step up. Now I'm finally out of the all day nausea and trying to get my house back together and he will proceed to sit on the couch and game while I'm wearing myself tagged trying to clean. I don't know what to do we have had some awful awful fights worse than ever before and I'm at a loss on what I should do. He can be so sweet and perfect some days but lately most I'm just the worst thing in the world and that's really hard to be when I'm pregnant cause he is my only support. He is military I live in a town with no friends I'm trying to branch out but it's hard when pregnant cause unless they are preggo too they don't wanna hang out with you. I just need advice anything, I have contacted a counselor and start next week but my husband refuses to go cause of some awful childhood counseling experiejce.

 

[emeeorevan]

I'm so sorry you are in this situation. It could be many things but Some men take much longer than women to grow up (mature). If you can stick it out til the LO is here he will grow. So men just get scared when things change. To them a baby is another mouth to feed and a responsibility that is growing too fast for them to come to terms with. Once he holds that baby, it won't matter. He may take little more time realizing that his life is not the only one that matters any more. But give it time, we realize that there is something more important than us as soon as we see that positive stick or first u/s. He sounds like he could just be scared but doesn't know how to cope. Good luck in counseling. Maybe since you are feeling better you can try to get back on a normal routine for a while . ( then start small be asking him to do some sort of house work that requires heavy lifting and make him realize that you need his help slowly)

 

[KrissyKris22]

Sorry to hear what ure going thru. I was kinda going thru the something also. I had to have a lonnggg talk with my oh and tell.him I need him to step up because im exhausted and being pregnant is draining. I dont think guys understand what being pregnant does to us women. Try and have another talk with him. Even though I kno it can be hard to get thru these men cus their soo stubborn lol

 

[Anaconda]

Sorry to hear about this situation your in

Maybe it hasn't fully suck in yet. They do say men take longer to mature P)
It can be hard for the father to bond with a baby they can't see. I agree with others, start small, don't overwhelm yourself by catching up on all the housework you've missed. Ask if he'll help with minor things and gradually add to that. I find with my OH if I ask too much at once he doesn't do anything.

Maybe try sitting down together and talking? Letting each other know your feelings might help this situation. And you might be able to get a routine going.

It can seem overwhelming when it sinks in that you're going to have a human being to care fore.

Who knows, in time he might come around

 

[LadyAphrodity]

Thanks ladies. I have tried a lot all ready but he is being so stubborn even a simple thing like moving the laundry from washer to dryer cause it is hard for me to lift with my shoulders causes him to huff and puff. He makes me feel utterly useless and at one point threw in my face that I wasn't working. Which he knows is a sore spot cause I looked for a job constantly right up untill I got my positive test. This place we love just doesn't have a lot of jobs especially in my field. It kills me that I couldn't find a job and he says I was to picky cause I refused to be a waitress like that was the only job I didn't apply for because i just am a horrible waitress and wouldn't make the money. I dunno I'm trying to be patient but the stress he causes from being selfish hurts me so much I just wanna scream. It's like he wouldn't care if I was gone. I hope he grows up when the baby gets here and he holds it but waiting till then is gonna be a killer cause it seems all we do is fight. At one point he was just like I dunno if I love you cause I'm always so stressed by all this. It really hurts and I have no one here to just get out with. Thanks for listening though

 

[KrissyKris22]

That really does suck and men can be true jerks at the wrong time sadly. Its hard when you feel like ure giving ure all and our men still dont get it. Try going to the counselor and see what happens. Maybe in due time he may wanna come for a session. I know you said you don't have anyone there to go out with. But you have us ladies on here .