Being single and miscarrying

[NDaniel]

I recently miscarried, without knowing I was pregnant and despite using birth control, two weeks after my long term boyfriend broke up with me. It turned out to be an incomplete miscarriage and I had a small operation to remove the remaining 'tissue' (as it is so coldly called) ten days following the initial bleeding.

Having lost another baby several years ago with a different partner (again, despite using birth control) I'm too ashamed to speak to friends and family about this most recent experience as I'm worried of what they will think of me.

I've read some good leaflets and websites about miscarriage, but have been surprised to find most of them assume:

a) You want(ed) a child
b) Have a partner who ulitimately loves and supports you

While this may be the case for most would-be-mums, I didn't plan to have a child (though would liked to have kept it) and am now faced with the double challenge of grieiving for my baby alone and adjusting to single life.

I've lost more than I ever knew I had and have never felt so lonely in my whole life.

Any words of support welcome!

 

[krockwell]

So sorry for your loss... both boyfriend and baby.
Can't imagine how you're feeling dealing with this all on your own... BUT Remember, the girls here at B&B are TOTALLY Supportive. So in the end... you're not all alone. We're here for you.

Be strong if you need to talk I'm here.
~Kori

 

[cupcake]

Im very sorry hun, I think you should involve friends or family who can be supportive of you or maybe even a support group. you should not have to deal with this all on your own. i hope that one day you will find your OH and be very happy. Im glad you joined B&B , you can get a lot of support here from girls who have been through the same as you.

 

[honeybunch2k7]

 

[Wishfull]

Oh my poor sweet girl i can honestly say i know how you feel. Well for most part anyway.
Id like to start with saying im so so sorry for your loss and that you are going this alone.
I had been with my ex for over a year and i too had been using birth control. But i found out i was pregnant and so i told him and he hated me he really really wasnt happy. So i had come to terms that i was going to be doing it alone. Then out of the blue he turned up an said he was sorry an did want the baby. Then sadly 3 days later after him finally coming round i miscarried. Then he was off again. Went through the whole thing myself. The only person i had to talk to was his mum. About how i was feeling an that it was just too hard to cope with. Noone else really knew how i felt. I hadnt seen him for 3 weeks since the miscarriage. And i can honestly say those 3 weeks going it alone and dealing with the rejection from him. And having my own thoughts about the baby. How i blamed myself, him, the world. All of it alone.
We spoke only the other day, said he was sorry more than i would ever know for him leaving me. He said he felt guilty that he wasnt there for me at the start. And that he blamed himself. He said thats why he was being such a cruel cruel person to me. I will never forget how he treated me. But i forgave him. And were taking it one day at a time as were only just back on talking terms.
Guys can be so cruel. And i feel for you not having someone to go to, to talk about it.
Everyone on here really helped me when i was in my time of need. Meaning i was at my lowest ever.
Im still struggling but nearly 4 weeks on it has gotten easyier.
So babe dont feel alone everyone is here for you with kind words of comfort.
PM me if you ever need a chat or just to vent.
xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Rumpskin]

Loads of for you sweety. We are all here to help you xxx

 

[cleckner04]

I wish I could be more helpful but I just wanted to say I'm so, so sorry...BIG

 

[Drazic<3]

oh hun, having to deal with that double loss. Im sorry.
I dont know what to say, other than if you need a friend to chat to, please PM me.
wishing you love and healing

 

[princess_t]

so sorry hun, i no what your going throught ive had 2 mc. if you ever need to chat the girls are great on here.

 

[redhoney768]

So sorry to hear of your loss.
i have only just found this site but the support is wonderful and i hope you do find lots in this sad time.
I too am going through a similar experience, I split with my partner 8 weeks ago whilst pregnant he made no contact at all and changed his number. last monday my midwife found no heart beat and i was sent for a scan my baby had died at 17 weeks. I was then told i would have to go through labour with the possibility of a D&C after the birth on thursday the 13th nov 08 my son jason was born he was beautiful. i did have a D&C after being left for 9 hours with the placenta. the pain is unbearable and i find it hard to even get out of bed.I had no idea so many women have suffered this loss and reading all the posts has given me strength. i so hope it does the same for you.

 

[becky77]

so sorry for your loss and that your going through it alone, please remember you can always come on here and share your thoughts and there will always be someone to listen
xx

 

[wantababybump]

so sorry for your losses and that you had to go through this alone. We are all here for you. xx

 

[moomoo]

Im so sorry for your loss hun...i cant start to imagine what your going through, keep your chin up xx