Between a rock and a hard spot

[Firefly83]

I have PCOS, I had TTC for years unsuccessfully even with fertility meds. I recently learned that I am pregnant! However my husband is not the father, and the father also has a wife and son. This sounds a lot worse than it actually is. I am separated, and baby daddy had been trying to become separated. The Baby Daddy was my first love from high school. My family had moved and we hadn't been in contact for 12 years when we finally located one another. Fast forward 18 months and we saw eachother for the first time in 13 years. Emotions ran high and one thing led to another and he got me pregnant in the first 24 hours of seeing him after 13 years! I know that we both jumped the gun with the whole sex thing, but that isn't the point anymore. The point is that I have a baby growing in me and I don't know what to do! I want to be with the Baby daddy, but he still lives with his wife. He claims that he wants to be with me and the baby. Was I unreasonable to tell him that due to the amount of stress i have right now (with the pregnancy,and hormones, also I am going off of depression meds, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, trying to find a job and trying to find a place to live.) as long as he was living with his wife I couldn't talk to him. I am terrified that if I have this continued stress, it will ultimately take its toll on the pregnancy. Please don't judge me. I just need good solid advice from someone who may be in or know someone that was in a similar situation. I know I can't be the first.

 

[BadassMom]

First of all, congrats on your pregnancy! Are you sure he really wants to leave his wife? That seems like an old line that men use when they want to have their cake and eat it too, if you know what I mean. I don't think its unreasonable at ALL to not speak to him until (or if) he leaves his wife. I would wait until I saw the divorce papers just to make sure it's really happening. You have to look after yourself and your baby first!

 

[resursval]

Congratulations on the pregnancy!
I was told years back I was probably never to succeed to get pregnant without help...
So when I got pregnant the first time with my FOB I quickly decided to keep the baby, I loved her from day 1 and just the thought of killing her made my stomache belch!
Never really bothered about if I was to be a single mother.
There are many single women that actually pay for semen
So it is a matter how you feel and want, if you want you will make it!

 

[Firefly83]

No matter what happens, this baby is nothing short of a miracle! I am so excited to finally
be pregnant.

So, FOB actually moved out today and will be living at his mothers house which is 2 hours away from the wife and 2 hours closer to me until he can get his own place or until I can get a place, and then we will probably move in together.

Thanks for not being all judgmental.

 

[resursval]

No matter what happens, this baby is nothing short of a miracle! I am so excited to finally
be pregnant.

So, FOB actually moved out today and will be living at his mothers house which is 2 hours away from the wife and 2 hours closer to me until he can get his own place or until I can get a place, and then we will probably move in together.

Thanks for not being all judgmental.

Do I have to say how jealous of you I am? Being pregnant again is like a dream to me but I can't for at least another year.
Glad it seems things are working out well for you!
And again, congrats to the pregnancy!