Beware- rant! So confused :-(

[LoolaXx]

Hi ladies.

This is more of a rant/vent than anything else, but if anyone has any similar experiences then by all means please share! I think I'll feel much better when I've written it all out rather than going round in circles in my head which is doing my brain in

My partner and I started ttc in September. We decided to start trying mid way through septembers cycle and obviously I hadn't been tracking my cycle lengths or when I ovulate so I had no idea if I had already ovulated but we BD a few times anyway just incase.

No luck, AF turned up. September 18th. Which was a relief in a weird sort of way so we could start trying properly. We decided to take a more relaxed approach to ttc for septembers/Octobers cycle as I worked nights at this point which is very demanding and sometimes hard to fit BD in, so I just used the app on my phone (Ovia) which predicts when you ovulate/your fertile window. We had some problems though.. I think OH felt compelled to get me pregnant and it just wasn't happening for him, he couldn't 'get there' which was stressing us both out and it resulted in me going to bed crying a couple of nights etc etc. it was horrible.

Anyway I presumed my cycles were 28 days as I was always regular before I stopped tracking my cycles a couple of years ago... But no, sept/octs cycle was 35 days long. It got to CD32 and I had some very light brown spotting and then I started bleeding properly at 35 days.

For my current cycle which started 21st September, I started using cheap eBay paper opk's from CD7. Obviously just 1 liners until CD9, they were getting increasingly darker but still nowhere near as dark as the control line. I carried on using them until CD12, but the test line seemed to be the same every day, it wasn't getting darker than the control line.. So I bought some clearblue digitals, the purple ones and used them from CD13, I've had low readings on them for 3 days, and then I took another paper opk yesterday and the test line was barely visible.

I have no idea what to do. We've been BD'ing every other day and was planning to bd every day once I had a peak reading, it's not happening for me. I don't understand why were the lines getting darker but not dark enough for a positive, and then they've dropped back down again to barley visible. Today is CD17, I haven't ovulated still and don't want to keep wasting tests when I know they're going to say the same thing as the day before.

I know I do/can ovulate, I've been pregnant before and everything was in the right place, I saw the baby with a HB at 9 weeks so I know my body is capable of these things. She also looked at my ovaries during my internal scan and everything was normal she said. I'm so confused?! I did read online that we tend to ovulate 10 days before AF is due, which means it could be another week before I O if my cycles are now much longer.. But if that was the case then why did my paper tests start getting increasingly darker and then lighten again.

I'm not saying I'm the only one in the world of ttc who does things right, because we would all do whatever it takes for us to get our bfp's but I don't drink or smoke, I eat healthily, recently started drinking a couple bottles of water daily which was hard as I've always hated it! I take conception support vitamins etc etc. there's no reason why there'd be a problem.

I'm sick of seeing negative tests and feeling like I'm incapable of even ovulating. If there was a problem then it would be relatively new because as I said I've been pregnant. what to do next?!

 

[Bigbabyb808]

I'm sorry I won't be much help since I am new at this, but I am using Clearblue Digital opk with the smiley faces. I found that the regular sticks were too hard to interpret. This is much easier and there is no gray area, either you are o'ing or you are not. I would give them a try even though they are a little pricey.

Good luck!

 

[notoverit]

What time of day do you test?

 

[LoolaXx]

Morning with the clearblues as it says to do, and 2pm with the cheap paper ones as they say to do so :/

 

[LoolaXx]

Having said that, I took a clearblue at 5pm and it was low reading again and I took a paper one about half hour ago (7.30pm) and the test line is visible but not dark

 

[tankel]

Don't worry about the darkness of the line. It can change a lot until your o-day comes closer. With me, it varies greatly from day-to-day until 2 or 3 days before a positive.

 

[x-ginge-x]

Ovulation typically occurs 14 days before AF arrives, I have also been and gotten ovulation strips from poundland you get 5 per box, my cycles vary from each month but are quite regular if you had a 35 day cycle then ovulation may be around CD21! Mine was CD20 this month, my lp is typicall around 12 days x

 

[LoolaXx]

I've been holding onto that tiny bit of hope too ginge but if it is going to occur around cd21 then why did my opk's start to get increasingly darker and now they're just very light pink again that's what's making me worried that it's not going to happen x

 

[RubyRedLips]

OPKs are super frustrating and difficult to interpret. I recommend getting ClearBlue digital with the smiley faces as they are much less open to interpretation. They're a bit expensive (cheaper on Amazon), but the paper ones never worked for me (test line NEVER got as dark as the control line) so even though they'e cheap they were a total waste of money for me.

You can also try temping and checking cervical symptoms to better understand your body's timing. Fertilityfriend is a helpful tool.

I know you've heard it all before, but try not to stress too much this early in the process. Even with absolutely perfect timing, there are no guarantees that sperm will meet egg, fertilize it and implant properly. Enjoy this time with your partner while you get to know how your cycle works. I'm an unexplained infertility survivor so I understand how difficult it can be, but 2 months is way to early to sound the panic alarm just yet.

 

[LoolaXx]

Don't worry about the darkness of the line. It can change a lot until your o-day comes closer. With me, it varies greatly from day-to-day until 2 or 3 days before a positive.

So it goes from light to darker and back again until 2-3 days before a pos? Which ones do you use because even the control line on my ones isn't dark like it'd be on a pregnancy test.