Bexoth2011's WTT journal

[bexoth2011]

Ok so I just got a blood test done recently so I KNOW i am NOT pregnant.

So I decided to start a WTT journal until i really am ready to have a child


I'm heartbroken as of now, because I feel like a horrible person. For one, I know deep down i want a child so badly. But I'm only 18...


And I know I have denial issues about wanting the baby so badly. I dont want to believe that i want a baby so young, i guess? i dunno


anyways so i feel like crying for more than 1 reason too...
my fiance said he wants to wait to marry me. which is different than what he said a month ago. i think he's getting cold feet.
it just hurts because he says 'we are too young' ... and hes not saying it sensibly he's saying it like he's afraid what people would think!!
UGHHHHHHHH


and i cry because he said we'd try to start a family soon (within the next few years.)

now i'm nervous that we wont be able to have kids
because we need to have them sooner than then.... (he might have something wrong with his prostate)
i'm worried he'll die as well

i wouldn't be able to live without him... oh gosh now i am crying...
I'm so scared.

 

[bexoth2011]

um... bump? lol

 

[plutosblue]

Awww hun

My thoughts are with you, I know what you mean about the not wanting to wait thing, my family have a terrible history TTC (my aunt had 4 mc's and my other aunt needed IVF) So I plan to try sooner than later, saying that I will be 22 nearly 23 when we TTC and I think thats young!

Sit and have a talk with OH about your concerns, you can't force him to have a child but you can try and make him understand. I can understand his cold feet, since OH has been pushing me to settle down and have children and I have been the one screaming we are too young! I finally settled on the idea a few months ago and now we are just planning for the big day, but I still even now get wobbles of am I ready? am I too young?

You have plenty of years left yet hun! Try not to worry too much!

 

[bexoth2011]

Aw I understand, I'm a little nervous about TTC but I still can't wait


and yeah we would NEVER do anything unless both of us are in total agreement.
and I guess I'm just so worried that we wont be able to have a biological child... (he might have something wrong with his prostate...)

im scared..

 

[bexoth2011]

CHRISTMAS EVE ENTRY​

today i'm going over to my boyfriend's house, and i want to ask him to go to the doctors to see if we can ever have children anyways
I dont know..
im pretty sure that Ive already gotten checked.

 

[bexoth2011]

Ok I'm back again... It's Christmas day now, early in the morning... (we're talking 3:29 AM here, people!!!) lol
but yeah so my boyfriend and I have decided that when the time is right we probably will just adopt
however life is like a soap opera for me, because in a twist of events, I think I still am pregnant
I seemed to have grown even more (in the gut..)
and a little in the breasts. My soreness disappeared a week ago though...
So yeah I know I probably am NOT (because, hello? NEGATIVE BLOOD TEST!!!)
but still i worry because I know that medicine will never be perfect, because its preformed by humans
but whatever...
i'm just going to relax, take it slow and breathe easy
...or at least try...
lol
as for how far along I'd be, I'd be about 8 weeks and 1 day. you see, the day I would have had my last period was oct 30th.... because my last period was on sept 4th, and two cycles later, my period would've been on oct 30th
i dont think i bled then tho
maybe spotted?
i am not sure
I was on depo so i am never certain whether i was having a small period or spotting...
i dont ever spot on depo though usually..
i think i got pregnant on depo, just to let everyone know. I know, I know... impossible? no........ that has happened to many people ... and to top it all off, i took amoxicillin!!!!! which my doctor says I shouldnt have done if i was on depo and having sex without condoms
eeek
anyways update later...

p.s. should i wait longer until i get bigger?? then demand a sonogram? idunno. i'll see....

advice appreciated.

 

[Amygdala]

Why don't you get a home pregnancy test. If you are at 8 weeks it will pick that up. But when did you have your blood test done? Normally the chances of a false negative with that are pretty slim. I think you're probably just getting yourself worked up...

 

[bexoth2011]

Why don't you get a home pregnancy test. If you are at 8 weeks it will pick that up. But when did you have your blood test done? Normally the chances of a false negative with that are pretty slim. I think you're probably just getting yourself worked up...

yeah i agree i dont think i am anymore.


lol
i know its weird but sometimes i just really get myself thinking I am lol

 

[bexoth2011]

Happy new years everyone ! ! !
xx

Ok so I recently think I'm pregnant... and no it's not all crazy... I actually posted some pics and two wonderful ladies said to test again... meaning it IS possible..
But anyways,
I've been experiencing some odd symptoms.

Just for the record, I am NOT ttc, because I'm 18 and not exactly READY to ttc.

But I know that if I AM preg. NOW, I AM READY to be a caring and wonderful mother

Anyways, My mother seems to think my life will "BE OVER" and that my dreams and goals may "POSSIBLY" never happen..
BUT you know what? If I am preg, I don't care what she says ... My life wont be over, and I know she wants me to place him/her up for adoption if I am...
But I refuse to.
It's just not something I can do.
And since I WAS THE ONE who got pregnant, I should make my own decisions, and honestly I want to carry this baby and love this baby and PARENT this baby... I just couldn't place a child up for adoption. Even open adoption. Just couldn't. And if I am pregnant --- then it is about BABY from now on! NOT my mother. I need to make decisions for the best interest of baby & me , NOT just what my mother wants.
And I am willing to work 100 times harder to get my GOALS ACCOMPLISHED IN LIFE!!!!!!!!!!

I just needed a little rant there

 

[bexoth2011]

And I finally have a picture of me as my avi. xx

Oh and here's some odd symptoms i've been having:
I ran 5 minutes, and took a 2 minute break in the middle.... and I still was about to pass out!! I was ready to faint... oh and I also have breathing wayyy faster ... to the point where I hiccuped for one whole day hahaha
My fiance even noticed the faster breathing without me saying anything.

Its odd. I read that preg. women will breathe faster to supply oxygen to their developing babies.
and thats why some pregnant women hiccup
I've been farting a lot too! *tmi?* aha

anyways. hopefully I get a bfp and get this confusion over with!!!
wish me luck xx

I test on the 5th --- or the 9th...
Which one seems better? Anyways xx

Byebye for nowww

 

[MiissMuffet]

Just having a wee nosy Wow you are testing tomorrow! goodluck! You could still be pregnant with a neg blood test- the blood test mightve been taken too ealy.

p.s. should i wait longer until i get bigger?? then demand a sonogram? idunno. i'll see....

And no hun lol If u wait that long then u will be a few months gone by then u should def know b4 u start to get big hehe. U can get bloating in your 1st trimester but u could also be bloated from a whole lot of other things aswell I def wouldn't go on tummy size How late are you for your period hun? x

 

[bexoth2011]

I dont know how late I am because I think I got pregnant on the depo shot (because i wasnt using it correctly,)


But even when depo comes in contact ONCE with my body, my whole cycles are set for a whack.

So If I was supposed to get my period this cycle, it would've been on Christmas day

LOL

 

[MiissMuffet]

Oh I see! How can u not use a depo shot properly? i thought they just inject u with it and u are set for the time being lol. i don't know lol i havnt been on it b4 x

 

[bexoth2011]

Well I used antibiotics

I dont care what anyone says about them not affecting the depo, people HAVE gotten pregnant cuz it does! LOL

 

[MiissMuffet]

oh yeh antibiotics can stuff it all up. U can get pregnant using anything! Nothing is 100% "safe" x

 

[bexoth2011]

EXACTLY !!!!!
lol
so yeah. i'm going to test tomorrowwwww
keep me in your prayers/wishes!!!

 

[MiissMuffet]

well it is the 3rd dec here now so u could like, test today and it wouldn't be cheating

 

[bexoth2011]

True, but I need to rest before I do it because I drink too much when I'm awake

 

[bexoth2011]

k everyone the results are in... ill post the pics of it in another thread in the teen pregnancy forum... just so its not scattered everywhere. lol

it should be on the last page.



https://www.babyandbump.com/teen-pregnancy/248248-my-eggo-preggo-fo-r34lz.html