I have went through a fair amount of struggles in my life, but the one that is at the top of the list is dealing with my mother. I love her, don't get me wrong. But she is impossible to deal with at this point.
My mom got pregnant with me at 15, married my dad, and had me at 16. She wasn't ready to be a mother yet or a wife. My mom is 38 years old now and still acts like she's 16. She throws tantrums when she doesn't get her way, cusses at my siblings and I, manipulates, and is constantly thinking someone is "out to get her" which in turn has made it very difficult for her to have any friends. We've ALWAYS had a rocky relationship because of this.
Growing up, any friends I did have, she ran off because she didnt think their parents liked her for some made up reason in her head. So I relied on her for friendship a lot of times. I thought her behavior was normal when I was growing up. I had no idea that other moms didnt act that way.
I'm 22 now, married, and expecting my first child in February 2016 but my mother can't seem to come to grasp with the fact that Im no longer in her control anymore. Must I add that the relationship between my husband and her is close to ruined after she has called him every name in the book over the years and accused him of things that he didn't do but has convinced herself that he has in fact done those things. She has constantly accused me of not loving her or caring about her. Which is ironic considering I have put her before my own husband many times, regrettably. Now she has it in her head that she is going to be controlling my daughter, too. NOPE! Not gonna happen.
My entire pregnancy I have looked to my mom for support but in return have gotten nothing but hateful comments about my husband or about how she's not involved enough. I let my mom name my daughter, my husband didn't even have a say in it. We love our daughters name but looking back it sickens me to think how much I've let her control me. If I'm at my parents house, she watches what I eat and is constantly reminding me to not get over 160 lbs while pregnant even though my pre pregnancy weight was only 155 lbs. If I show her an outfit I plan on buying for my baby then she tells me it's not good enough and I need to start shopping at another store of her choice. I told her I plan on buying a white sleigh style crib, she talked for 15 minutes about how cribs are pointless and if I were to get one then I need to get a round one to go in the middle of the room instead. I told her I plan on pumping and storing my milk in the milk storage bags that the pump comes with, she tells me that that's not safe and to do something else. I picked out my daughters middle name which is Rose, and everytime I see my mother she tries to get me to change it to Rosalina instead and throws a tantrum when I tell her no. She has went to 2 appointments out of the 5 or 6 appointments I've had already but claims she hasn't been to enough and should come before my HUSBAND. She has it in her head that once my daughter is born, I am going to just drop my child off at her house unsupervised or let her take my child anywhere without asking me first because it's her grandchild, well guess what?! It's MY BABY!!! She also thinks that because she doesn't get along with my husband that I am supposed to just let her throw my child a "second" birthday when the time comes with my side of the family and not have my husband there. No way! It's HIS baby, he made this child not her! I can't even have one awesome babyshower with both my husbands family and mine coming together for me because my mom has it in her head that his family hates her. Even though she's never even met his side of the family, because of her own choosing. Did I also mention that she seen a picture of my 1 year old niece on my husbands side of the family and called her fat and ugly and said that I better not let my child get that fat. When this baby is perfectly healthy and by no means even close to fat! I mean, who calls a baby fat??? Or ugly, for that matter.
I have been stressed to the max over her and it has really taken away my joy at times. I am just so scared for the future and how I am going to manage dealing with her when the baby is born. I just wish she would change but I don't see that happening....
My mom got pregnant with me at 15, married my dad, and had me at 16. She wasn't ready to be a mother yet or a wife. My mom is 38 years old now and still acts like she's 16. She throws tantrums when she doesn't get her way, cusses at my siblings and I, manipulates, and is constantly thinking someone is "out to get her" which in turn has made it very difficult for her to have any friends. We've ALWAYS had a rocky relationship because of this.
Growing up, any friends I did have, she ran off because she didnt think their parents liked her for some made up reason in her head. So I relied on her for friendship a lot of times. I thought her behavior was normal when I was growing up. I had no idea that other moms didnt act that way.
I'm 22 now, married, and expecting my first child in February 2016 but my mother can't seem to come to grasp with the fact that Im no longer in her control anymore. Must I add that the relationship between my husband and her is close to ruined after she has called him every name in the book over the years and accused him of things that he didn't do but has convinced herself that he has in fact done those things. She has constantly accused me of not loving her or caring about her. Which is ironic considering I have put her before my own husband many times, regrettably. Now she has it in her head that she is going to be controlling my daughter, too. NOPE! Not gonna happen.
My entire pregnancy I have looked to my mom for support but in return have gotten nothing but hateful comments about my husband or about how she's not involved enough. I let my mom name my daughter, my husband didn't even have a say in it. We love our daughters name but looking back it sickens me to think how much I've let her control me. If I'm at my parents house, she watches what I eat and is constantly reminding me to not get over 160 lbs while pregnant even though my pre pregnancy weight was only 155 lbs. If I show her an outfit I plan on buying for my baby then she tells me it's not good enough and I need to start shopping at another store of her choice. I told her I plan on buying a white sleigh style crib, she talked for 15 minutes about how cribs are pointless and if I were to get one then I need to get a round one to go in the middle of the room instead. I told her I plan on pumping and storing my milk in the milk storage bags that the pump comes with, she tells me that that's not safe and to do something else. I picked out my daughters middle name which is Rose, and everytime I see my mother she tries to get me to change it to Rosalina instead and throws a tantrum when I tell her no. She has went to 2 appointments out of the 5 or 6 appointments I've had already but claims she hasn't been to enough and should come before my HUSBAND. She has it in her head that once my daughter is born, I am going to just drop my child off at her house unsupervised or let her take my child anywhere without asking me first because it's her grandchild, well guess what?! It's MY BABY!!! She also thinks that because she doesn't get along with my husband that I am supposed to just let her throw my child a "second" birthday when the time comes with my side of the family and not have my husband there. No way! It's HIS baby, he made this child not her! I can't even have one awesome babyshower with both my husbands family and mine coming together for me because my mom has it in her head that his family hates her. Even though she's never even met his side of the family, because of her own choosing. Did I also mention that she seen a picture of my 1 year old niece on my husbands side of the family and called her fat and ugly and said that I better not let my child get that fat. When this baby is perfectly healthy and by no means even close to fat! I mean, who calls a baby fat??? Or ugly, for that matter.
I have been stressed to the max over her and it has really taken away my joy at times. I am just so scared for the future and how I am going to manage dealing with her when the baby is born. I just wish she would change but I don't see that happening....
