bf and younger and older mummies

[Freya]

I read somewhere recently that not many younger mums choose to bf, but lots of older <cough cough> mums do (30 on). Why do you think this is? Obviously it's personal choice, but perhaps its more about infuences??

I wonder if younger mummies feel a bit more self conscious? I dont think I was confident about my choices in life until i was 27, when i finally realised i really shouldn't care what people think!

Or isn't it promoted as well to teens, nhs assuming they dont want to?

Or...?

Just got me wondering...... whilst i'm chained to couch on a monster feeding sesh!

xxx

*****

 

[rach321]

I think it is a confidence thing!
I know when I was in hospital the young girl in the bed next to me had tried to BF twice and didn't get her latch right and just gave up - she had lots of help from the nursing staff who were fantastic but her family put her under quite a bit of pressure to give a bottle - I though it was quite sad really. She was very young - about 16 and was moving in with her boyfriend and didn't really want to work at it. Breastfeeding is not just something that happens - both you and baby are learning and I don't think she appreciated that. Also when baby is very young BF is so much easier than getting up at all hours of the night to sterilise bottles etc - the nursing staff then had to spend a few hours explaining how to sterilise everything and how important it was - felt sorry for the baby.
I gave up BF at 12 weeks - my choice after battling with a difficult feeder! Maybe there should be more focus at antenatal classes on just how hard breastfeeding is - I know everyone says its best for baby but no-one really mentions how hard it is.
Sorry for rambling....that's my thoughts anyway!

 

[Freya]

Hi rach321,

yep, family is a big influence too. My mum doesnt understand my choice and is quite negative so it was def hard for me to stay focused on what i wanted, and i havent lived at home for years!!

Your sooooo right about antenatal classes needing to inform new mums more. it was a right shock when bf didn't come as 'natural' as i expected! PLUS they never told me generally how tough a newborn is at 1st!!!! Just a short, non scary session would have prepped me better, personally.

x

 

[Mrs_Nesbit]

I think confidence plays a part, but when you're young i figure its mostly for convenience (not the usual day to day stuff, but bigger things). The vast majority of younger mothers i'd say would have parents quite willing to have baby for the odd night a week/weekend away/not to mention if you choose to go back to work and i'll admit its a whole lot less hassle when you can just hand over the the stuff without having to majorly pre plan/express like a wench possessed/take time out expressing while away to stop your supply drying up. I know thats basically why i stopped bf'ing my first two.

Now i'm an old duffer going out and having a *life* as you do in your teens and early twenties is done with. The grandparents are now getting on too..Its time for them to do what old dears do without mithering with little babies.

 

[Serene123]

Yup, confidence. I was sooooo embarissed in the hospital when people came to visit, I wouldn't feed her untill they left.

 

[princessellie]

see im not confident at all but with BFing i kinda just flop them out anywhere if shes crying lol

x

 

[Mrs_Nesbit]

Yup, confidence. I was sooooo embarissed in the hospital when people came to visit, I wouldn't feed her untill they left.

I was the same..Plus the weird thing was even though I got over it eventually with my first baby, that initial embarrassment STILL came back straight after I had my son a few years later and AGAIN when I had Sam, although in Sam's case even though he latched straight on for ages at birth I still felt scrutinised to hell and back in the ward by the *perfect latch and feeding posture* nazi's.

To be fair I'm sure in a great many cases these women are helpful, but I've found that so long as other things are fine then a textbook perfect latch isnt the be all and end all of life and the lack of one doesnt automatically mean you'll have a starving, colicky child..

 

[Mervs Mum]

I was 20 when I had my first and 34 when I had Hebe. I BF'd my first for about 6 weeks. I come from a family of bottle feeders - mum, aunties, sister. I'm not sure exactly why I stopped - I think it may have been because it was suggested to me that she might sleep better if I FF and to be fair she did. I had no real regrets about stopping but I knew I'd really like to try to BF longer this time. I think I'm more confident in my choices now. I also think that when I was 20 and and probably in my sexual prime, I thought of my boobs differently to the way I do in my 30's. I think I find it easier to separate my sexual boobs from my feeding boobs. Dunno why.

 

[ryder]

Im 23 and I didn't really have any issue with confidence and bfing at the hospital in front of people... My choice to ff wasn't about that... Although I wouldn't have wanted to bf in public.

On the other hand... im the kind of person who likes to be busy and out doing things, maybe if I was older and more settled I would have had more patience to sit at home and work through it?

Who knows.

 

[1st_baby]

Its didnt bother me to whip out the boob infront of ppl but sometimes I doubted myself in being able to actually BF like older women

 

[Freya]

I also think that when I was 20 and and probably in my sexual prime, I thought of my boobs differently to the way I do in my 30's. I think I find it easier to separate my sexual boobs from my feeding boobs. Dunno why.

Ahhhh... yes, I definintely thought my boobs were for intimacy rather than for function in my teens and 20's! Lol!

Body consciousness may have something to do with it too. There is always the great fear boobs will never look the same... eeeeek....

 

[Mervs Mum]

Yeah and I think that may have been a part of it too! Although I've been pretty lucky (so far...) and mind didnt suffer much first time....lets see how they fare this time!
I am much more at ease feeding in public this time too. I didnt like to when I had Emily so it kept me home more in those early weeks. This time I was out and about on day 5 and BFing in public a couple of weeks later. These days I can feed anywhere and noone ever notices as we're so good at doing it and if anyone did say anything to me, I'd be quicker to defend myself than I would have been 14 years ago

 

[alice&bump]

tbh i think it has diddly squat to do with age. i know young mummies that have BF and stuck with it and older mummies who either never tried or gave up on like day2. i think its more a confidence thing, i'm not ashamed of my boobs and the way i look at it, if people want to look at my boobs in a getting off on it kinda way when i'm BF then they're sick. i think will power's got a lot to do with it too, it was bloody hard, but i wanted to do what was best for my baby so i stuck at it xx

 

[Mervs Mum]

I agree it's definately very much about confidence Alice. The times when I wobbled early on were when I wondered if she was getting enough. You do need to back yourself and that's not always easy when you try to marry that up with also wanting to make your baby happy. When they are crying and hungry we just want to make them happy again dont we.

 

[Whisper]

I was 24 when i had Amelia and i couldn't have been less embarrassed when the nurses were helping me to latch her on, it did take a while, a few weeks for me to feel comfortable feeding her out and about in public.

I am not a confident person at all really but i would feed my baby anywhere.

 

[CamoQueen]

I'm 23 and BFing. I think my choice was heavily influenced by my own mother, who breastfed us and always encouraged it. Besides, David is such an easy baby to breastfeed -- other than the initial pain involved, he never had issues with latch and I never had issues with production. I can understand if your family is against BFing, or you have lots of problems getting it started how it could be very easy to go to bottlefeeding, especially when you're younger. I suppose when you're older you are more confident about your choices and more willing to weather through the tough times? I don't know... it's different for every woman, I think.

I do know that the women I discussed BFing with all considered me crazy for wanting to do it for a year. It was kind of like, "Yeah, let's see what you say after 2 months, you'll be on the bottle." Four months in and I love it now! So there, lol.

 

[Chellebelle]

I am 25, I have always been around breastfeeding - my mum was a breastfeeder of all 5 of hers and her friends were so when I fell pregnant I personally never considered an alternative.

I had alot of others say "are you going to breastfeed / bottlefeed?" and when I said breastfeed it was surprising that alot of my friends the same age as me said "ugh are you not worried about your boobs sagging?" I never thought of that at all until quite a few friends raised my awareness... but I just thought my mum still has nice boobies for a breastfeeder of 5 - so hopefully I will follow in her footsteps lol. It is nice to get the positive responses now that I am doing though as it's surprising how much it can knock your confidence with the negative responses - that probably would have put me off a couple of years ago.

xxx

 

[Pyrrhic]

I think it's hard to comment from the POV of a BFer why young Mums tend to FF, but I would hazard a guess that it's confidence and convenience. I was the only Mum on my ward that tried to BF after the birth. Our area has an 85% drop out rate in the first week for BFing.

 

[Mervs Mum]

I think the drop out rate in my area is similar. Apparently there are only actually about 3% of women who cant actually BF be it directly or via pumping - as in, they just dont produce milk - so there definately seems to be a cultural thing involved in BFing take up too. It really intrigues me....

 

[Poppeteer]

I think confidence has to do with it.... I was sooooo shy about bf'ing in public initially, but now with my cover i will literally do it anywhere