BF is the hardest thing i have ever tried to master...

[pcsoph2890]

I feel as though I take one step forward two steps back at the moment.

I've had problems with latch causing extremely painful nipples, so introduced ff due to the pain. And more recently she feeds for hours on the boob and still crying for more causing my nipples to get sore - and due to the pain giving her a bottle to save my nipples. Now I'm trying to reduce ff and it feels as though I have been whacked in the boobs literally by ductal thrush, the pain making me cry and unable to bf my daughter due to the pain during, and afterwards I get (in nipples and general all over breast pain)

I feel.like a total failure this morning in particular. I just want to feed my daughter and it seems the gods of bf are just against me at every stage.

Dr previously told Me ductal thrush doesn't exist (even though my bf support worker and hv told me that it sounds like I have it from the symptoms I have described), so I felt shitty even going there and wasting her time, went to my bf support group the hv and bf support worker confirmed I probably had it and were very annoyed with that dr dismissing me and so I have made an emergency appt today and not taking no for an answer.... I will get some treatment today for us both.

When I express I am hardly getting anything possibly about 3-4floz on a good day in total, so feel like a failure there too. I feel I have affected my bm supply by introducing ff.
But cause of the pain I'm in there is no way I can start reducing it as I planned over the weekend and just have my daughter attached to me to build up my supply.. again making me feel like a failure.

Is there going to be a point where I say this is just not working do I just give up and give ff exclusively to her???

One day I'm so positive I can ebf her then like today when in pain I just can't see a way to do anything other than ff and just sit here crying about it all...

I am finding this beyond hard and t
I found Labour a total breeze compared to learning and mastering this bf.

I have been trying to master it since 5th Feb when daughter born.
I'm stubborn tho and I've been through so much to get this far with her I don't want to give up now..

That's all and just sounding off in my moment of weakness....

I'm so envious of people who have mastered it and are pain free.

 

[Popples1]

I'm so with you! I've never tried so hard at anything and still felt so rubbish at it. My LO is on a 3 hourly feeding plan because he's a champion sleeper so I feel like I'm force feeding him and he keeps falling asleep on me. It's pure stubbornness and pride getting me through at the moment. I can't believe I ever thought labour would be the hard bit.

I'm going to a breastfeeding support group shortly but a bit worried I'm going to cry as soon as someone is kind to me!

Keep going, mama. It sounds like you're doing a great job for your LO. Don't feel bad about using formula if you're in agony. At the rate your LO wants to guzzle, your supply may not suffer as much as you think.
Xx

 

[Rachel_C]

It sounds like you're having a really horrible time of it but I would really encourage you not to make any decisions about anything until the thrush is sorted. Once it's properly treated, you might just find things start getting a lot easier very quickly. It would be a shame to give up now when you've already come so far.

 

[pcsoph2890]

No not giving up until at least another couple of weeks as you said the treatment might work wonders - Well it can't be any worse can it??

're the bf support group they are brilliant and I've cried at mine before - I'm a wisker away from crying in self pity and pain at the moment too...

 

[Popples1]

Just reporting back - the support group was great. There were two peer supporters and a health visitor (the same one who is coming to see us next week actually). It was great to talk through with other mums - they'd all had issues of one sort or another.

 

[QueenMummyToBe]

I won't lie breastfeeding is soo difficult!
But it is also so so worth it..

I have been feeding my dd for over 6 months now
and I have no plans to stop anytime soon..

For the first couple of months things were so hard..
she would feed constantly, I had mastitis and we have
had thrush twice and now she is teething so we have to
get her latch exactly right for her not to hurt me.

Where bf and ff are concerned just feed and feed and
feed.. you will be tired, you will wonder how your baby
can feed so much but it will do wonders for your
supply.

Make sure you are drinking plenty of fluids and eating
well to help your supply also.
Dont worry if you only get 4oz when pumping, a baby
can empty a breast better than a pump and if you can
feed through the pain of thrush then definitely do so.

You sound like you have a good support group

xxx

 

[pcsoph2890]

Well been back to the drs whose advice was as follows:
1) stop bf and symptoms will stop
2) possibly apply thrush cream on nipples (even tho explained no discharge it's a deeper searing pain after I've fed her)
3) take paracetamol....

Needless to say I was in floods of tears there whilst talking to him and on way home too... now even still crying.

I am not ready to stop trying yet. But I have no idea what to do now, all the bf support workers either on annual leave or left for the day. I've left a message on the support groups phone - . Not sure what they can advise either???

I'm pumping now to get something out and trying to increase my supply ...... But honestly I feel as though I have been knocked for six now. But I suppose the main thing is my daughter is happy, she has a belly full of ff, so of that I am grateful!!!

 

[Popples1]

Sorry to hear that. Your doctor sounds like an idiot! How about ringing the National Childbirth Trust? My mum tells me they were brilliant when she was bf my sister and needed advice. X

 

[Boo44]

Well been back to the drs whose advice was as follows:
1) stop bf and symptoms will stop
2) possibly apply thrush cream on nipples (even tho explained no discharge it's a deeper searing pain after I've fed her)
3) take paracetamol....

Needless to say I was in floods of tears there whilst talking to him and on way home too... now even still crying.

I am not ready to stop trying yet. But I have no idea what to do now, all the bf support workers either on annual leave or left for the day. I've left a message on the support groups phone - . Not sure what they can advise either???

I'm pumping now to get something out and trying to increase my supply ...... But honestly I feel as though I have been knocked for six now. But I suppose the main thing is my daughter is happy, she has a belly full of ff, so of that I am grateful!!!

Has your baby been checked for a tongue tie? Like properly checked by a lactation consultant or similar?
My little baby is actually FF but one of my good friends with a baby the same age is EBF and she has had so much trouble. I'm writing here because your symptoms sound exactly the same as hers. Do you have 'lipstick' shaped nipples after feeds or nipple blanching where the nipple is whiter afterwards? My friend was the same right down to going to the GP for thrush treatment which didn't work. She eventually saw a private lactation consultant who saw her baby feed, saw the nipple blanching and listened to the story of the awful breast pain, and diagnosed a 60% tongue tie. They had it snipped and the problems haven't all gone (her baby had learnt to suckle in a certain way due to the tie that had given her neck tension etc) but her dreadful breast pain has gone and she is still EBF

Don't stop just yet, could you ring to speak to another lactation consultant and see if you have the same issues? The story just sounds exactly the same xxx

 

[Boo44]

Oh and she had been told by the midwives in the hospital and the health visitor that her baby didn't have a tongue tie when she actually didx

 

[pcsoph2890]

A lc has checked her and she hasn't tt, everything seems normal....

 

[pcsoph2890]

Just tried out the industrial breast pump the support worker bought round.... was quite excited to use it... So in one little session I got nearly 2floz .... could've gotten more but it kept slipping off, so need to tweak it a little more...

 

[joanna3240]

Keep at it hun, it WILL get better!!
Re the ductal thrush, I had it for ages, and so did my LO, we were given the usual treatment by the docs (daktarin for me, nystatin for him) and both didnt work, so if you dont feel it improving within a few days from anything you're prescribed I'd suggest getting some Gentian Violet, literally painting your nipples with it once a day before feeding, and painting babies mouth too (I used a cotton bud). Bearing in mind it stains EVERYTHING so don't wear any light tops etc, and will stain babys face too, but I put it on both of us last feed of the day any by morning any staining was gone. Used it for 3 days and I've had no pain since!! Really hope that helps, you're doing fab

 

[pcsoph2890]

Decided that I'm giving my boobs a rest over the weekend no boob feeding. I'm expressing every 2-3 hrs, taking fenugreek and more milk plus to get my supply boosted too.
Come Monday I want to then start afresh, get my bf support worker round to make sure I'm doing it right and latched on properly, then see how we go.

Then I want to plough on until she is six weeks old and then if I am still having problems see whether this is best for me and my daughter as I can no beat myself up if it is not working.... But I'll cross that bridge as and when I need to cross it. Then next aim is just getting her back on the boob with no pain for myself and she feeds ok....

Fingers crossed for me!!!

 

[Popples1]

Decided that I'm giving my boobs a rest over the weekend no boob feeding. I'm expressing every 2-3 hrs, taking fenugreek and more milk plus to get my supply boosted too.
Come Monday I want to then start afresh, get my bf support worker round to make sure I'm doing it right and latched on properly, then see how we go.

Then I want to plough on until she is six weeks old and then if I am still having problems see whether this is best for me and my daughter as I can no beat myself up if it is not working.... But I'll cross that bridge as and when I need to cross it. Then next aim is just getting her back on the boob with no pain for myself and she feeds ok....

Fingers crossed for me!!!

Do you feel better for having a plan? I'm thinking I may have to do something similar. He's been really fussy with the breast today and it's really upset me. He's also been guzzling EBM like it's goinh out of fashion and been really unsettled. A skin to skin cuddle with mummy has calmed him right down but it's time to start it all again now with his 7pm feed...
I've got the midwife on Mon and the HV on Tues so think I'll talk it all through with then both and get some advice. I really don't want to quit but feel like we're just upsetting each other at the moment.

 

[Boo44]

Decided that I'm giving my boobs a rest over the weekend no boob feeding. I'm expressing every 2-3 hrs, taking fenugreek and more milk plus to get my supply boosted too.
Come Monday I want to then start afresh, get my bf support worker round to make sure I'm doing it right and latched on properly, then see how we go.

Then I want to plough on until she is six weeks old and then if I am still having problems see whether this is best for me and my daughter as I can no beat myself up if it is not working.... But I'll cross that bridge as and when I need to cross it. Then next aim is just getting her back on the boob with no pain for myself and she feeds ok....

Fingers crossed for me!!!

Good luck! X

 

[pcsoph2890]

Yes I feel a.lot better I have taken the pressure off myself. There is a LC group at the hospital on Monday so might go there again to start again.... or get the bf support woman who has been brilliant with me..... what with pumping quite a bit over past couple of days least she has had a few bottles of my milk so every little helps....

Sometimes.established just taking the pressure off yourself for a breather does wonders (for me anyway!!) But discuss with it midwife and decide what the best option for you will be!!!

 

[pcsoph2890]

So just been visited by the bf support worker.... back to bf my daughter again. Fingers crossed its pain free as I've really missed it!!

 

[Perplexed]

I've written a long response but my phone seems to have gotten hungry & eaten it.

I symphathize. Bf is the single hardest thing I've ever had to do. Labor was smooth sailing in comparison.

Somewhere along the lines things got better. I can't say exactly when. But somewhere between her first jabs (at two months) and now, bf has transformed into an every day part of my day. I started enjoying night feeds a lot sooner than the rest of the day feeds.

All I can say is that it does get better. I used to cry at every feed and vow to quit as soon as I got my hands on formula. But she refused! Lol but by then it had improved immensely that it didn't matter.

So I guess what we have here is another story of complete agony, broken glass exiting my nipples rather than milk for 2+ months close to 3. And things are better. No one could diagnose if there was an issue that caused me pain as bf isn't widely supported around here and there's just a lack of knowledge. So I understand your frustration with your doctor.

Good luck!

 

[pcsoph2890]

Well still getting pain deep in my breasts so may give it a rest for the rest of the day... I have a couple of bottles worth of bm.... But I've only been taking the meds for 48hrs... So think I just need one more day....