BF my 1st was an awful experience for me, I am scared to attempt it with 2nd.

[MoonLove]

I had my LO 3 years ago, i had an emergency c-sec after 20+ hours of labour (her head was badly positioned and even forceps couldn't pull her out!)

She was drowsy for the first 24 hours, and it was only the second day in hospital that the breastfeeding lady came to my room and attempted to get her fed. It was hit and miss, LO was enthusiastic and sucking, but we weren't convinced she was actually getting any milk.

I hated my short experience breastfeeding. I hated it. I'd look down at her and my head would spin. It felt as though i was really really drunk, i couldn't focus, i'd lose my balance and feel really nauseous. I was exhausted for that week i spent in hospital and i felt so ill.

So in the middle of the night when she was screaming her head off, the midwife brought some formula for us, and we never looked back.

I continued to express colostrum onto a spoon for her and spoon fed her that, but it was just awful. It was so undignified and i do NOT want to do that again. I was so distressed at the whole experience.


I am torn in my decision to breastfeed my second LO, who is due in the new year. I've thought about allowing her to try to feed while i am in hospital and she can get the colostrum, and then switch to formula. It's easy and it's what we know from first LO, but i am also hesitant to give up so easily on BF.


I had such an awful experience and i don't know if i am strong enough to persevere through that again. Did anyone else ever have this experience, where you felt really weak during BF? It was actually very scary, i felt like i was losing consciousness. I know i was tired, but as i said i felt really really drunk, and the world was spinning. It meant i couldn't look down at my baby and that was really upsetting.

I suppose i am looking for some encouragement. As easy as it would be for us to stick to what we know with FF, there is a nagging part of me that would like to at least try to make BF a positive experience, and obviously allow my second LO to benefit from all the goodness that comes with it.

P.S I will be having an elective c-sec this time round.

 

[cflower04]

Breastfeeding in the beginning used to make me really sleepy and I'd often struggle to keep my eyes open! Each time you breastfeed, hormones are released into your bloodstream which help you bond with baby so it's all good.

 

[Sarah lo]

I'm sorry you had such a rough time last time.

I was the same as you in that I had a horrible experience the first time, I won't bore you with the details but basically I persevered with it for 4 soul destroying months and almost ended up having a breakdown because of it.

Second time around I was terrified to try again and had more or less decided to FF from day one until my midwife talked to me about it and made me promise to at least give it a go for the first couple of days.

My second LO was entirely different from my first, he latched immediately and fed beautifully. We're now 3.5 months in and he's never had a drop of formula.

I don't have any experience of the weird tired/dizzy feeling you get but I can say that for me I had 2 entirely different BF experiences and just because it happened with your first LO doesn't mean it will happen again. Just give it a try for a couple of days, if you don't you might always wonder if it could have worked out.

 

[bumpin2012]

My experience is similar to Sarah's. DS would not latch until he was 5 days old, and even then he cried every time I came near him (and THAT does not help the PND!) I spent 6 weeks fighting with him, nipple shields, SNS, and pumping every 2 hours Around. The. Clock. After 6 weeks I gave up, and cried for another 5 months daily.

With DD I was terrified of trying again. I had myself convinced it wasn't going to happen, and when she was born she latched, and 3 months later we are still EBF. She is a boob monster too!

It may not work a second time around. It might work perfectly. You wont know until you try. Dont put any pressure on yourself about it. no matter how you feed your baby, you will do so with love

 

[Odd Socks]

First time round after a month of not being able to get DD1 to latch, trying nipple shields, expressing round the clock, I was so unhappy & switched to formula & felt awful about it all.

Likewise, I wasn't even going to try with DD2, but I felt I had to, so I could see if we could do it. I armed myself with as much support as possible, took nipple shields & breast pump in my hospital bag & called the lactation consultant at the hospital a month before I was due to ask her advice. Telling her my experience with DD1 was really tough & I got really upset doing so. She reassured me that I did all I could have done at the time & told me that my next experience could be completely different & promised to keep an eye out for when I went into labour.

2nd time round was completely different. DD2 latched on not long after if given birth & we had a pretty text book bf journey from the start. We're still going strong, over 2.5 years later & I'm so, so glad I decided to give it another go

xx

 

[c1403]

I am feeling the same way.

I had DD1 2 years ago and after a traumatic birth (EMCS) we only managed 5 weeks of BF. I found it so hard, had little support and I just couldn't cope with the pain and hated it when it was time to feed (which was ALL the time).

I am expecting DD2 in next few weeks and I am scared BF will be a traumatic experience again (I am trying to remain positive we will have a successful VBAC and things will be different) and I too have thought about just doing formula. My OH does want me to attempt BF again so I think we will try and just go with the flow, I really hope we can do it and I hope to find more support this time as my midwife wasn't really helpful.

Best of luck

 

[MoonLove]

I am feeling the same way.

I had DD1 2 years ago and after a traumatic birth (EMCS) we only managed 5 weeks of BF. I found it so hard, had little support and I just couldn't cope with the pain and hated it when it was time to feed (which was ALL the time).

I am expecting DD2 in next few weeks and I am scared BF will be a traumatic experience again (I am trying to remain positive we will have a successful VBAC and things will be different) and I too have thought about just doing formula. My OH does want me to attempt BF again so I think we will try and just go with the flow, I really hope we can do it and I hope to find more support this time as my midwife wasn't really helpful.

Best of luck

Good luck honey, i hope this time round it's a much much nicer experience for you I was so let down by the breastfeeding lady in the hospital. I dreaded her coming into my room so much and when my LO went onto formula it was like a weight lifted from my shoulders when i could tell the lady to go away. She has apparently retired now so i'm hoping this time round i will have someone who is supportive and kind to help me through the first few days.

Hope you have a smooth and healthy birth with your DD2!

 

[leash27]

I had an EMCS with DS after 4 agonising days of being induced so I was pretty much a zombie by the time he was born! We were in hospital for 3 days after he arrived and I breastfed the whole time. When we got home, I was so tired and overwhelmed I just completely fell apart and struggled to come to terms with what I had been through. Looking back, I just wasn't strong enough to keep up with BF and was definitely lacking any real support from HV or MW. I caved in and have him formula and if I'm honest, it was like an instant relief. However, shortly after when I had recovered from my birth experience, I was gutted I had given up BF and felt like I had really failed him! That feeling has never really gone away if I'm honest!

With DD I have been so determined to BF from the minute I got my BFP. DH knew how important it was to me so he has been incredibly supportive and I have been fortunate enough to have a fantastic MW this time and some great friends who have successfully BF themselves. I won't lie - BF is still frickin hard, even with such strong support! I cried after the first week because I was in so much pain and my nipples were cracked and bleeding and I was ready to gave up. The main reason I kept going is because I know I don't want to feel that guilt again that I felt with DS. I don't have formula or anything in the house either so there is no temptation to just cave in at 3am when I am exhausted and desperate to hand over to DH!

X