BFing and 'good' (ish) sleepers

[kosh]

sorry, this subject is my obsession..

I am interested in hearing from BF and extended BF mums whose LOs are good sleepers (and by 'good' I don't mean that they STTN but that even if they do wake, it's a bereable number of times per night, say 2-3x )

would you mind sharing your experience?
Is your LO a natural good sleeper?
did you do any type of sleep training (gentle or not)?

thanks!

---
eta; can you add their age too?

 

[cupcaker]

My baby is only 'new' but I think I am getting off fairly lightly in the night to what it could be. He will feed breastfeed 3 times usually, and on the third it's usually when he decides it's properly wake up time. He doesn't 'cry' in the night. He makes a series of little noises and if I get to him quite promptly he won't cry.

It's different to the day where he is more prone to crying for feeds or crying for what seems no reason sometimes.

 

[tokyo]

I ebf'd LO for the first 6 months, now we are starting BLW but she is still breastfed throughout the day (and night!)

We have had times when she has been a 'good' sleeper, like between 6-12 weeks old when she slept from 11pm - 6am every night without so much as a wimper. And we've had times when she's been a horredous sleeper, like when she's teething and waking every 45 mins. I have done nothing to 'train' her in anyway and I've come to the conclusion, as she's gotten older, that how she sleeps is more down to her and what she's going through than anything I do! I did try and break the feed to sleep habit a while back but it made my life so much harder and I missed her drifting off the sleep snuggled up to me so we're back to nursing to sleep. She didn't sleep any better when she went into her crib awake anyway so it didn't seem worth the extra stress to me!

The one thing that has made life easier when she's not sleeping well (like at the mo!) is co sleeping. I never thought I'd have her in bed with me but I've always fed her lying down for night feeds and it was really only a step on from nursing laying down and falling asleep to choosing to co sleep! We don't do it full time, she always goes into her crib (next to my bed) at the start of the night - then if it's a good night she wakes once or twice to feed and sleeps in her crib inbetween and if it's a bad night I bring her in with me. Much less tiring just to roll over and pop the boob in than to wake fully to get her in and out of the crib. I was scared of having her in my bed at first but it's less scary as she's gotten bigger (and I've gotten more sleep deprived and desperate!)

I read somewhere that the easiest key to making 'night time parenting' easier is just to change your mindset about it. So try not to think of yourself as 'deserving' 8 hours uninterrupted but rather of your baby 'deserving' to have you to comfort him if he needs it, and remember he doesn't care what time of the day or night it is! It's also been suggested to me to turn the clock around so you don't know how long it was since they last woke and aren't keeping track of how many times it's been so far! They don't need you in the night for long - not in the grand scheme of things. And remember my favourite parenting mantra - this too shall pass! (eventually.....)

Good luck x

 

[Rachel_C]

I'd say my LO is a 'good' sleeper. After the first week or so, she started sleeping for 3-4 hour stretches at night, so I'd feed her to sleep at 11pm when I went to bed, then she'd wake 2-3 times during the night. She was easy to settle back to sleep as we co-sleep. Once the midwife showed me how to feed her lying down, we were away! If we hadn't been co-sleeping, I don't believe either of us would have slept as well, as I probably wouldn't have woken as quickly when she needed me and we'd both have had to move around to feed her, waking us both up properly and making it harder to resettle her.

She's had phases of waking more or less. By a couple of months old, I think she was feeding at 11pm and then 5am-ish, then waking for the day and milk at 10am (which suited us very nicely as it meant I got time in the morning with my older daughter while she slept, or a lie in if they both slept in!). We could have moved bedtime and wakeup earlier if we'd wanted, I suppose. When teething or feeling ill, she will wake more often, maybe 4 times and growth spurts can mean near-constant feeding, but as we still co-sleep (she is 20 months old now), she can feed while we both sleep. I only wake properly when she can't latch by herself if we've moved too far apart.

We haven't done any sleep training and I've never tried to schedule her naps or anything. Now, her sister has started nursery in the mornings so we have to be up by 7.30am - that's brought bedtimes earlier. At 20 months, she feeds to sleep at around 9pm (I'm slowly moving that earlier as she isn't quite ready to wake when I get her up), has a quick snack at maybe 10.30/11pm when I go to bed, then sleeps until 6am-ish, snacks, then back to sleep till I wake her. She has a good long nap in the afternoons.

Looking back, her sister was pretty much the same in terms of when she wanted milk, but she was FF and we didn't co-sleep so feeding her meant getting out of bed and everybody being a lot more disturbed. So maybe the sleeping is genetic but how you deal with it can make it easy or hard, even if they're 'good sleepers'.

 

[Here_we_go]

Amy has been sleeping in a 7 hour block at night since she was about 7-8 weeks old. She's always slept good at night though Now that she's 13 weeks, she will occasionally wake up for 1 feed at 5 AM but will sometimes sleep through that as well.

My son was 5 months old and on formula for at least a month before he slept as good as her! He had his days and nights mixed A routine at night helped him

Edit: I co-slept with him & currently cosleep with her

 

[aliss]

I bedshare. He STTN last night and aside from growth spurts, goes a good 4 hours at least once per night.

My formula fed kid didn't do that well (STTN at 2), but I credit to bedsharing and personality.

 

[toby1331]

My LO dodger first 6 hour stretch at 6 weeks and started sleeping 11-
12 hours at nine weeks. We've had a few days here and there when she's woken in the night to nurse, but that's normally during a growth spurt. She ocassionally wakes during the night and looks for her binky. If its close she pops it back in and goes to sleep. Ocassionally I have to pop it in for her and then it's normally back to sleep. Up until the last week she's always fallen asleep while nursing and I transfer her to the crib. She now nurses, snuggles and then I put her in her crib. I then sit in the room until she falls asleep(about 10 minutes). I haven't done any training. I just followed her lead about bedtimes and feeding. She hasn't started teething yet, so I figure things will change then. I will say for as great a nighttime sleeper she is, she is a horrible napper. It's only recently that she has started to fall into a nap routine.

 

[Hangin_On_AGS]

We cosleep and bf and Mia is sleeping from about 11-4-5ish and than until 8am. We haven't really trained her. We do wake her up on a schedule during the day but let her go at night and she naturally has slept good from day one.

 

[aliss]

Also, I have overactive letdown and oversupply, I think he isn't as comforted by my boob as a normal boob baby. Maybe that helps.

 

[bananaz]

I'm not sure what kind of sleeper my baby is, lol. She slept pretty terribly the first couple months (even by newborn standards), but after that her sleep started improving and by 3 months she had naturally dropped down to 1-3 night feeds without any encouragement from me. Then everything went sideways from months 5 to 7 and she was as bad as a newborn again. From there I started some gentle sleep training as well as night weaning and now she sleeps through 10 hours most nights

Oh, and she was EBF for the first 6 months and is still primarily breastfed now at 11 months.

 

[Kellen]

We EBF. From the beginning (once home from the NICU at 6 days old) she was sleeping 4-6 hours at night. Now at 11 weeks she typically goes to sleep at 9:30 or 10, whines around 5 when she eats without waking. After that we co-sleep until I get up at 8 and she sleeps until 10. So I would classify her as a "good" sleeper. We'll see how teething goes eventually.

 

[armywife11]

From day one she nursed every two hours in the day time and every four at night (except during cluster feeds). She naturally went with her bed time (730) and we pushed it back to 8 by keeping her up till then. We co-slept and bed shared for 3 months then she went to her crib. I want to say by 4 months she was waking at 3 am for a feed then another at 530 am. (When she woke up I would bring her to bed with me and she spent the night there) then at 5 months she was sleeping till 5 or 6 waking just that one time.

She still has nights where she wakes more, its just here and there. We still co-sleep when she wakes up for a feed unless its before 10 then I put her back into her crib.

We really didn't do any sleep training. She took to things on her own naturally. We just pushed bed time 30 min from where she tried to take it.

She's 7 months now and was EBF. She never took bottles or pacis. We also set a bedtime routine from day one. Bath, nurse, sleep.. it helps her calm her down it time for bed.

 

[kosh]

many thanks ladies for all your replies!
it seems some BF babies are indeed good sleepers

as you probably imagined mine is a terrible one and I keep questioning myself if this is because of something I am doing wrong, namely (extended) BF as I heard many times that 'he'll sleep better once I stop BF'

I read somewhere that the easiest key to making 'night time parenting' easier is just to change your mindset about it. So try not to think of yourself as 'deserving' 8 hours uninterrupted but rather of your baby 'deserving' to have you to comfort him if he needs it, and remember he doesn't care what time of the day or night it is! It's also been suggested to me to turn the clock around so you don't know how long it was since they last woke and aren't keeping track of how many times it's been so far! They don't need you in the night for long - not in the grand scheme of things. And remember my favourite parenting mantra - this too shall pass! (eventually.....)

Good luck x

oh, I totally agree, if I didn't, I would have gone mad loooong time ago - I haven't had more than 4 uninterrupted hours in 15 months!!

 

[TigerGalLE]

I think my LO is a good sleeper now. BUT... we bedshare. He has never cried at night. Because I’m right there to put my boob in his mouth. I’ve never made a good attempt to get him in a crib. Right now it goes like this...

4:30 or 5:00ish Late evening nap
7:00-8:00ish dinner
8:30ish Bath
9:00 play with mommy and daddy in the floor before bed
9:30 Bed

He usually sleeps until 3ish or sometimes until 5... Then nurses back to sleep to get up sometime between 7 and 8:30

I think this is pretty good... The catch is that I have to go to bed with him at 9:30 or he won’t go to sleep/stay asleep

 

[cazi77]

My DD wasn't a very good sleeper until 6 months. From Birth to 8 weeks I was lucky to get 1 hour at a time! At 8 weeks she started sleeping 8-midnight then every 2 hours. From 4 1/2 months she started going to bed at 6.30pm and waking every 4 hours. Easter weekend when she was nearly 6 months we had a terrible time teething and the once those teeth cut I had a different baby overnight!

She started sleeping 6.30-10pm then through til 6am but now seems to be doing 6.30am - 6-7am! (i'm waiting for the next teeth for it all to change!!)

 

[SarahBear]

I actually lose track of how much she feeds at night but it's not because it's a lot. It's because I sleep through most of it. I suppose it is one or two times at this point usually. It seems to have dropped recently though. It used to be more. And it tends to be toward morning. She basically eats her "breakfast" in one or two sessions around 5 to 6 AM. It used to be around 1 to 2 again between 4 and 6. I basically get her latched and fall asleep because we co-sleep, so it's very manageable.

 

[Berri]

I currently breastfeed twice a day (first and last thing).

I would say my son was not a great sleeper. He flat out refused to nap in his cot during the day (we tried letting him cry a few times but he screamed for over 2 hours and eventually it affected his night sleeping). Through the night he's usually been pretty good since maybe 6-7 months. He was sleeping 9-10 hours only waking up once or twice on average for a quick feed then back to sleep (not counting times when he was teething etc. and I lost count of how often I was up).

We just turned the corner on the day sleeps 3 weeks ago... we were on holiday and he took to having 1 nap a day lying on our bed but not being held or anything and he slept between 2 and 3 hours (he had NEVER slept that long in the day before) so when got home were rested and ready to tackle the issue again.

The first night home from holiday somehow the monitor went off, I found him sleeping on the floor the next morning - I assume he was crying and no one came so he came for us but ended crying himself to sleep. Totally unintentional but I figured if he could do it once...

So, that day I put him in his cot for a nap. He cried 20 minutes, slept for 90 and that stat is improving most days.

I also used to feed him to sleep but some nights he feeds then just plays around so now when he's finished feeding and if he's mucking around I just put him down in the cot and after a few minutes of crying he's sound asleep. Most amazingly to me, the nights I've done that, he hasn't woken up once!!!!

So, I'm thinking that it's not breastfeeding that's the issue (he still seems to want it) but that I was so tired and didn't have the energy to deal with any crying that I was using the boob as a fix-it. I think to go through any crying you have to be rested otherwise it's frustrating but it has seemd to work for us.

 

[Aimee4311]

Josalyn is good, I think! She's 6 months old, and though some nights are rougher and have more feeds, this is our average night!

Her bedtime is between 9-9:30. I normally nurse her to sleep while rocking her-though I often have to be standing to do it!

She wakes up about an hour and a half after she goes to sleep and has another good feed. Then she's out for about 4 hours, wake up around 3-4 for her next feed, then sleep until 8-9.

Her wake ups aren't much at all. She nuzzles, grabs me, and roots around until the boob is finally there, all with her eyes closed. (we bedshare) She'll feed for 5-10 minutes, unlatch, and turn her head away. I've tried not giving these feeds or giving her something else to suck, but she won't have it. Refusing her feeds during the night is one of the only things that will wake her up and make her upset. So I'm going with it! I know her sleep (and mine!) could be much worse!

I'm not planning to do any sleep training. Eventually I'll try dropping the middle of the night feed though.

 

[CeeDee]

My DD has gone through several sleep phases. From birth to about 4 months she woke every 2-3 hours. From 4-6 months it was every 3-4 hours. At 6 months, we stopped bed sharing and she was moved into her own room and she started sleeping from 7:30pm-6:30am. Then at 8 months she started waking once a night. Then for a week she started waking twice a night. Now she’s back to 7:30pm-6:30am. We did some gentle sleep training at 6 months.

Have you done anything to encourage better sleep?

 

[I Love Lucy]

My DS sleeps for 2-3 hours at a time through the night, sometimes 4 hours before he is ready to be fed again. I find bed sharing has made the biggest difference in him sleeping so well at night. Before I gave in and brought him into bed with me he was sleeping much shorter periods of time.