Big Moan!

[raindrops009]

Need to get a few things off my chest, so thought where else is best too?
Well basically I really want to start to properly settle down with my OH, not have a baby yet for obvious reasons (I'm only 16) but everything seems so far off.
I was planning on saving £100 a month for a car and then after that a house etc. etc. from my part time job which i use to get about £300 a month from. But my hours have been cut down dramatically, and will be getting less than a hundred this month .
Plus my OH confessed to me the other day, that he was playing around when we first got together and was seeing each other. I don't know how to take it, because if i'm honest I don't care because i know he isn't now and i know he loves me. But in my head i keep thinkin that i should be bothered?
I'm gettin quite broody recently aswell, OH is excpectin a baby and i seen his niece today, seriously i can't wait till i can properly settle down, have a good job etc. etc. I don't want to go out to clubs every weekend and drink. I'm not a heavy drinker like a lot of my mate. I can't remember the last time i drank
Am i just being wierd for being broody so young?
Should i say somethin to OH about him cheating on me?

 

[aliss]

I read your original thread in teen pregnancy.

I have to ask, why do you think this young kid WANTS to settle down? I'm confused. He's already got a pregnant ex-girlfriend, was with other women before/during you, I'm not sure what your expectations are, this is all within the span of less than 9 months? He is clearly showing you what kind of person he is - is there a reason you think that this is the right person to try and settle down with?

 

[raindrops009]

I read your original thread in teen pregnancy.

I have to ask, why do you think this young kid WANTS to settle down? I'm confused. He's already got a pregnant ex-girlfriend, was with other women before/during you, I'm not sure what your expectations are, this is all within the span of less than 9 months? He is clearly showing you what kind of person he is - is there a reason you think that this is the right person to try and settle down with?

Basically he has changed during the last couple of months and got his priroties right. I've known him longer than me and him have been together (only been a couple of months) we used to be best mates and i can tell he's serious. I've had to grow up recently, so i'm not some dumb immature kid who doesn't have a clue.

 

[aliss]

Nobody is accusing you of being a dumb immature kid You ask for an outsider/unbiased opinion if you should be bothered by his actions or behaviour?

 

[mandaa1220]

The situation that you are in seems a little bit confusing to me... if I'm right, your OH has an ex girlfriend currently pregnant with his baby, is dating you, and cheated on you when you first got together?

You are not strange for being broody young, there are plenty of girls on here just like that. Plus, I can't imagine having an OH who has another girl pregnant and how that makes you feel. I think I saw in another thread by you (correct me if it wasn't...) that he wants you to get pregnant right now as well? I don't think that seems very responsible on his head and while I realize he's changed... he still has his other child to think about. Having two babies in such a short span at a young age doesn't seem very responsible... but that's just imo.

If you are not bothered by the fact that he fooled around when you got together, then don't over think it. If you trust your OH, that's what matters and the fact that he admitted it to you is good. I'm not sure how it ended with his pregnant ex, but the fact that he has fooled around with others and is with you so quickly after this girl seems odd... just keep your head on and don't let your guard down. If you need anything, feel free to PM

 

[shocker]

First your not weird for being broody so young, i wasnt but theres tons of girls on here the same age as you.Im 19 and i dont go out to clubs either last time i had a drink was over a month ago lol it just doesnt interest me anymore.Im 19 and also want to settle down, i cant wait either its literally taking all i have strength wise to keep on track and wait.Ive found its helped a lot if i shower love and attention on my nieces/nephews and other peoples babies.Have you any family member with a baby/child a cousin even? im sure theyd be delighted to have a babysitter and you could get some practice in for when its your turn!

Theres also the belarussian orpahanage project, they take students to belarus for 2 weeks in the summer to volunteer in the orphanages where theres a lot of children and adults with disabilites who'd be very grateful.A few of my friends have done it and its an incredible learning experiance and theyve all said it was very helpful to them to grow as people.

As for your oh, no-one can really tell you what to do but he sounds immature to me and really him having two children at his age that he cant support is something that you should think about.Theres always the chance one more could push him over the edge and he'd run.Obviously you know yourself its not the right time, i understand its literally painful having to wait trust me i do understand that but its a matter of thinking of your future child.Give yourself the best possible chance, go to school keep working and saving whatever you can,get your own place and have a stable life.If you work towards that goal you could have it by the time your 18 and it'll be so much easier for you.It will also give you time to make sure this guy is the right one for you.Make a list of the things you need to put in place and everytime you tick them off you'll be closer to your goal.Good luck

 

[Auerbach059]

The situation that you are in seems a little bit confusing to me... if I'm right, your OH has an ex girlfriend currently pregnant with his baby, is dating you, and cheated on you when you first got together?

You are not strange for being broody young, there are plenty of girls on here just like that. Plus, I can't imagine having an OH who has another girl pregnant and how that makes you feel. I think I saw in another thread by you (correct me if it wasn't...) that he wants you to get pregnant right now as well? I don't think that seems very responsible on his head and while I realize he's changed... he still has his other child to think about. Having two babies in such a short span at a young age doesn't seem very responsible... but that's just imo.

If you are not bothered by the fact that he fooled around when you got together, then don't over think it. If you trust your OH, that's what matters and the fact that he admitted it to you is good. I'm not sure how it ended with his pregnant ex, but the fact that he has fooled around with others and is with you so quickly after this girl seems odd... just keep your head on and don't let your guard down. If you need anything, feel free to PM

I think that is some really good advice!

 

[raindrops009]

The situation that you are in seems a little bit confusing to me... if I'm right, your OH has an ex girlfriend currently pregnant with his baby, is dating you, and cheated on you when you first got together?

You are not strange for being broody young, there are plenty of girls on here just like that. Plus, I can't imagine having an OH who has another girl pregnant and how that makes you feel. I think I saw in another thread by you (correct me if it wasn't...) that he wants you to get pregnant right now as well? I don't think that seems very responsible on his head and while I realize he's changed... he still has his other child to think about. Having two babies in such a short span at a young age doesn't seem very responsible... but that's just imo.

If you are not bothered by the fact that he fooled around when you got together, then don't over think it. If you trust your OH, that's what matters and the fact that he admitted it to you is good. I'm not sure how it ended with his pregnant ex, but the fact that he has fooled around with others and is with you so quickly after this girl seems odd... just keep your head on and don't let your guard down. If you need anything, feel free to PM

I'm still unsure when he was cheating on me, when i was seeing him or when i got with him. I haven't brought it up with him again yet. I was seeing him, and had feelings for him before his ex told him she was pregnant, so i wasn't going to run but was quite hard to come to terms that in a couple months he will have a little baby and we won't be spending every day with each other like we seem to be doing at the moment.
With his pregnant ex, they kept gettin into fights, think they rushed into things and it all got too much.
Just need to sort this whole contraception thing out, and figure out what i want in life before i settle down.
Thanks for the advice
x

 

[raindrops009]

First your not weird for being broody so young, i wasnt but theres tons of girls on here the same age as you.Im 19 and i dont go out to clubs either last time i had a drink was over a month ago lol it just doesnt interest me anymore.Im 19 and also want to settle down, i cant wait either its literally taking all i have strength wise to keep on track and wait.Ive found its helped a lot if i shower love and attention on my nieces/nephews and other peoples babies.Have you any family member with a baby/child a cousin even? im sure theyd be delighted to have a babysitter and you could get some practice in for when its your turn!

Theres also the belarussian orpahanage project, they take students to belarus for 2 weeks in the summer to volunteer in the orphanages where theres a lot of children and adults with disabilites who'd be very grateful.A few of my friends have done it and its an incredible learning experiance and theyve all said it was very helpful to them to grow as people.

As for your oh, no-one can really tell you what to do but he sounds immature to me and really him having two children at his age that he cant support is something that you should think about.Theres always the chance one more could push him over the edge and he'd run.Obviously you know yourself its not the right time, i understand its literally painful having to wait trust me i do understand that but its a matter of thinking of your future child.Give yourself the best possible chance, go to school keep working and saving whatever you can,get your own place and have a stable life.If you work towards that goal you could have it by the time your 18 and it'll be so much easier for you.It will also give you time to make sure this guy is the right one for you.Make a list of the things you need to put in place and everytime you tick them off you'll be closer to your goal.Good luck

I have got no family who have young children, i've got my mums cousins baby but i only seen the baby once and he's older now. I have offered to babysit, but yeh i haven't heard from them for a while now.
He is immature, and some of the things he says sares me! I am goin to save up for the future, get a car/driving lessons, have a house, get a stable job etc. etc. A list is a really good idea. Thankyou x

 

[goddess25]

It sounds like your being very smart about the whole situation, you want a child like alot of young girls do and thats normal but your also in a position to recognise that right now you cant properly care for that child and i think you are being really mature about the situation making a plan and getting a few things sorted out first before you make that decision.