Binki? Pacifer? Nuk? Button?

[BunnySE]

Some back history here-- I'm a preschool teacher, I teach 3-4 yr olds specifically. A few times I've had students who've come to school with binkis, and I find that these kids generally have a lower vocabulary, lower emotional stability and more often than not speech issues.
Needless to say from my professional perspective I've sworn off binkis in full. I'm terrified of my daughter not being able to speak, crying if she can't have a binki or getting a bilateral displacement issue. My daughter is 2wks3dys and have never had a binki... yet.


Are there any other mums out there with similar fears or rationalizations? I am willing to hear arguments FOR a binki but please be tasteful and don't just say I'm horrible for denying her them.


Thank you in advance ladies

 

[ashiozz]

Well, I'm not going to call you horrible for deciding not to use one, but your post almost makes me feel judged FOR using one.

That aside, Binkies in some studies have shown that they may decrease the risk of sids. I'm not saying Tyler will still be using his at 3 yrs old, probably not even at 2.. but as an infant? I dont see an issue, his is only used before sleepy times so its not like its always in his mouth either. I think as with most things every baby is different and some need the binkies for security whereas others do not seem to.

But yeah the main reasons I introduced one was: He needed to suck to go to sleep
I read it can actually decrease SIDS risk
and overall, at his age.. using a binkie doesn't bother me and I Do not think it's going to cause him to not speak correctly in the future.

 

[Samiam03]

We use a paci. I used to be so against them and didn't allow DS to have one...and he ended up getting a finger sucking habit instead. I'm still struggling to break him and will now have to drop money to buy a yucky finger cream in the hopes that deters him. After this mess, I'm pushing the paci on dd. all my friends who used pacis already had their kids weaned at 1 year and had no trouble taking it away.

 

[mommy0629]

I use a binki for lo and did with my ds also. Here's the thing, you said you're teaching 3 and 4 year olds right? Well, if a child is still using one at 3 and 4 years old then yes, I can understand speech delays. But if the baby only uses one until they're 2 at the most, then it's not going to cause that problem. My son used his until he was 28 months and he has the biggest vocabulary you could imagine for his age and has been like that since he was 3, ppl are always amazed at some of the "big" words he uses. What about kids that suck their thumb until they're 4 and 5? They don't have speech delays.

It's one of things that I think is fantastic to sooth babies, when used properly. I'd bet my bottom dollar those kids' parents stuck that binki in the baby's mouth every single time he/she made the slightest noise. If you only use a pacifier to calm lo for sleep (like babies/toddlers who suck their thumbs do) and take it away at an appropriate age, there's NO reason at all it will cause a speech delay, I promise. It's only when a toddler is walking around ALL day with it in their mouth that you have the potential for issues like that.

 

[patch2006uk]

I don't like dummies either, but my LO is a thumb sucker and I'm not looking forward to the day we have to start discouraging that!

If you don't want LO to have one, don't give one. Simple. There's no deprivation around not having one.

 

[Lollipopbop]

I was totally against them and scared to use once cos I didn't want LO to become dependent on it and have it for ages but we gave him one after reading it helps prevents SIDS but we've successfully been dummy free for nearly 3 weeks now, we said we'd always get rid at 6 months which is the recommended age and very glad we did. The dummy did help on those sleepless nights and when LO just wanted to suck but now he's not a newborn I feel he doesn't need it and he has slept better since it's been gone x

 

[mrsbeano]

Completely the parent's choice. I'm not personally a fan of how they look and children tryng to talk with them in. I think that's when they can gain a speech impediment but not 100% sure.

I did use one with my son when trying to get him to sleep in the early days when he REALLY fought it. I will always try and settle him to sleep without it now but for naptimes, I would rather use it and stick to our routine that fight for an hour to get him over.

I also found the SIDS study reassuring as he tummy sleeps which is less than ideal.

My sisters little boy had one from day 1 as he screamed during nappy changes etc. He is now 10 months and she has weaned him off it completely. Using one to soothe an infant doesn't automatically lead to a school age child using one, if you don't like that. The sucking action is extremely soothing for an infant. When BF they can suck for comfort as well as food.

 

[BunnySE]

Well, I'm not going to call you horrible for deciding not to use one, but your post almost makes me feel judged FOR using one.

That aside, Binkies in some studies have shown that they may decrease the risk of sids. I'm not saying Tyler will still be using his at 3 yrs old, probably not even at 2.. but as an infant? I dont see an issue, his is only used before sleepy times so its not like its always in his mouth either. I think as with most things every baby is different and some need the binkies for security whereas others do not seem to.

But yeah the main reasons I introduced one was: He needed to suck to go to sleep
I read it can actually decrease SIDS risk
and overall, at his age.. using a binkie doesn't bother me and I Do not think it's going to cause him to not speak correctly in the future.

I'm sorry Ashiozz, really didn't mean to offend or judge-- everyone does what they need to for their babes, they're all different.

I've heard about the SIDs decrease, I think I'll go look that up a bit. But you're right, maybe if she uses it before six months or something it won't be such a big deal for her developmentally speaking. Its an idea =)

 

[Flutterly]

I use a dummy as my LO was using my nipple for comfort and it bloody hurt!!! Now when he wants to go to sleep and is asking for nipple I give him his dummy and he nods right off meaning I'm pain free it also means I can put him in bed awake rather than have to wait until he is in a deep deep sleep and hope that he doesn't wake up and ask for boob!!

That said, I do not intend for him to be 3years old and have one!

 

[ashiozz]

Its no problem. I know what you meant and esp since you see bigger kids with them, Im not a fan of seeing a 2 yr old with one speaking through it either. Im working on getting T to not use one, It's going decent but we have some nights he needs it. I'm good with that though as he is not a thumb sucker. I can physically take a binkie, not so much with a finger.. and I was a finger sucker for too long SO Im trying to avoid that with him.

 

[staralfur]

I tried to give my LO a soother on several occasions but she's never wanted one. So I've got no issues with them. But at this point I am glad I won't have to worry about weaning her from it.

I don't think you're depriving her by not giving her a soother. But I think all babies use something for comfort whether it be a soother, thumb, or boob. And eventually you'll have to break the habit regardless.

My LO uses boob for comfort still, quite often. But I'm okay with that since she'll have to wean from the breast anyway...so it just seems easier.

But some people hate the idea of their baby using their breasts as pacifiers (though really, that's what they ARE) and so they'd prefer a soother/thumb.

Do whatever you're comfortable with.

 

[mrsrof]

My daughter uses one...I was COMPLETELY against using one for her for the exact reasons you have given above, but she was a massive comfort sucker as a newborn and I could not physically stand the pain of letting her suck my boobs when I knew she wasn't doing it for food. She wouldn't latch on, just suck the nipples raw. Some peoples' boobs might be made for it, but mine definitely were not, it was so excrutiating that I just cried every time she did at the thought of it!

I cannot stand seeing toddlers and even older children running around with them stuck in their gobs, talking around them etc. Our nephew (SIL's son) is 3 and a half and is still given one "just for bed" except that more often than not it's given at least an hour before bed time so he's talking around it etc. It is AWFUL. He will not go to sleep without one, even after my dd's christening they had to drive home and SIL was freaking out because they had forgotten to bring it (turned out her DH had it though). I was a bit shocked tbh!!!

Chloe has started going to a childminder now and she has been asked to only give it to her if she looks for it at nap time and not at any other time. We've been doing this at home. I want to wean her off it before she is 1 ideally!!

 

[FarfromHome]

I don't see any problem in using one. My DD is 4 mos and only really "needs" hers at nap times/night time and when she's wanting to comfort nurse but I need to do other things. Also, it's been a lifesaver for when we're out running errands and she gets fussy ( especially if she's tired and wanting to nurse to sleep/be held but were driving etc etc) . It makes me feel comforted knowing also that giving a binky at bedtime can reduce SIDs as my LO is now also a tummy sleeper. I'm sure when she starts to speak we'll wean her during the day from it and then eventually wean at night time too around 1/ 1 and half ish.

 

[CT125]

I've only started using a dummy properly since last week. I was finding Darragh was waking every half hour or so at night and I was mistaking his hand sucking for hunger, even after he had his growth spurt. We were both shattered, because apart from the hand sucking being incredibly loud and constant, he was getting his fingers so far down his throat he was making himself sick. It was also tough on my nipples!
We'd decided to try and not give him a dummy, but it's amazing what severe sleep deprivation does for good intentions!
Now, he sleeps way better at night, naps more and cries less.
me and all my siblings had dummies with no detrimental effect and I'm so far happy with my decision

 

[jade1991]

Sorry ladies but whats a binki?

 

[ashiozz]

Pacifier..

https://www.photo-dictionary.com/photofiles/list/902/1338pacifier.jpg

 

[Button#]

I wasn't going to use one but Ashley had colic and used to suck for comfort but when he used my boob he would swallow milk and that would make it worse. He only has a dummy for naps and bedtime now. Occasionally he'll have it at a nighttime waking but more often than not he'll refuse it.

 

[dizz]

I taught early years for many years, had the kids rolling up at school with dummies etc - and yes, my daughter has one.

She was premature - she needed all the help she could get figuring out sucking, add in the SIDs risk reduction and the fact that it comforted her and we both got more sleep... they outweighed any grand moral principles on the issue completely. The only thing I DO do is to make sure I go for one of the clear plastic ones - personal thing that they're ugly looking things and I don't want a lump of dayglo plastic hiding her face!

She only has it when tired, it's not a plug-in "mute" button, and she most definitely won't be rolling up at nursery with one and the expectation the school staff will sort out weaning her off it (and yes I've had that one as well in the past).

A lump of plastic to suck on doesn't make a stupid child, or emotional immaturity, or one with poor language skills or whatever - a combination of factors surrounding their upbringing does that. You do sound incredibly judgemental on the issue by the way.

 

[xdxxtx]

My son used a pacifier until he was 7 months old, and then I took it away. That was when he started saying multiple words/names, and I felt that the pacifier was hindering him. I will definitely give my next baby a pacifier for the first 6-7 months as well.

 

[Saphira]

I'm not fearful of my daughter starting kindergarten at 3 with a pacifier but I'm not necessarily fond of the idea either. It's a couple years in the future and I'd like to cross that bridge then if we happen to come to it - at least between 2-3yrs. I can gradually take it away with her having more of an understanding for the process (paci fairy) - I doubt it will even get that far though seeing how things are going. I've given her a pacifier since she was a few days old and before we left the hospital. One of the nurses suggested it and after seeing her constant need to suck I thought it's only best. Took her some days to get used to it but really helped. She was so easily soothed by it but always let us know loud and clear if it's milk she actually wants. I hear that some babies do well without a pacifier and even reject them altogether so they're certainly not for every baby but definitely for my daughter. She's naturally been weaning herself off of it with time - as a young baby she had it almost always and now at 11 months only takes it for nap/bedtime. I also have it available to her when we're out and about but she doesn't always take it then. I think you have to do what works best for your baby in the end.

Oh, I want to add - nothing wrong with her "speech" so far - she's quite vocal!