Birth Partner Worry

[mellylou88]

I want both my partner and my mum to be their for me during labour.

But friends who have given birth at the hospital I will be going to have told me that you can only have one birthing partner with you until you are fully dilated than the second person can be there.

The worry is my partner isn't very helpful (men just don't seem to understand the changes that our bodies are going through) where my mum does and knows how to make me feel better.

I don't really want to tell my partner to stay away until I'm fully dilated as he does want to be there, but my mum doesn't drive either so for her to be on stand by would mean her just sitting and waiting around the hospital.

Just wondered if anyone had any tips and advice?

 

[tristansmum]

Have you contacted the hospital to ask? I've never heard of only allowing one partner in. Find out for certain before you get too worried

 

[Eleanor ace]

^^ Agreed, I'd double check with the hospital whether they allow more than 1 birth partner. If you can only have 1, I'd sit your OH down and express your concerns. If he wants to be there then how about going to antenatal classes together and looking at books/online for some practical ways eh can support you in labour, such as massage, focusing techniques, things to say to calm you? You have time to mould him into the perfect birth partner if you both want

 

[mellylou88]

It is just what friends have told me and just made me worry, I'm seeing the midwife next week so will have to ask her and take it from there.

 

[Laurenmomma]

I'd definitely ask! I only wanted oh there but usually it's one partner unless u go straight onto delivery ward when in established labour!

As far as I know it's only 1 person with u when u are say on a ward or waiting for things to start x

 

[mellylou88]

I will have to ask midwife and double check because I don't want to stop the OH being their for the birth but then again I need someone who is going to be supportive and help me through it, I don't think he is capable as even know when I get odd aches and pains he changes the subject - men just don't understand

 

[d_b]

I have heard of it the other way around with multiple people allowed in for labour, but only one for delivery. Maybe your friends have it mixed up?

 

[mellylou88]

I spoke with my OH about it and he said as long as someone is there with me that's all that matters, he would like to be with me for the whole labour but with work commitments not knowing where about's on the road he will be then least my mum can be there, will still double check with MW, as long as I have a midwife with me and I'm in hospital safe and sound I should be OK

 

[fionar]

That sounds like a horrid policy, honestly. I hope you can have your partner and your mother both there. How unsupportive to only allow one person!

 

[mellylou88]

I hope so as well, fingers crossed that wires have been crossed somewhere