birth worries

[Emms818]

I'm 18 and as a young mum I have many scares, especially as it is my first child, I've heard so many stories about labour and its terrified me. I'm so not good with pain but I don't think I want an epidural... just need some advice to perhaps calm me down a bit!

 

[DazedConfused]

Hi, I had my son at 18 And it was fine. I knew I wanted an epidural free birth so I made that clear to my midwife. She supported me with this 100% and it was fine.
I'm a student midwife now and honestly the vast majority of women I look after get an epidural if they're baby is the wrong way round ( back to back). So big tip is sit on a gym ball, crawl round on all fours lots.
Remember you CAN do this, and many do xx

 

[Emms818]

Ah thank you! I work myself up so much about it cause of how bad I am with pain

 

[shinona]

You'll surprise yourself with what you can bear. It is a different sort of pain because it comes and goes and isn't constant. You get a break between contractions when you'll be fine. Each one gets you closer to your baby. Breathe deeply and slowly and try not to tense up. Stay mobile and just focus on breathing your way through each contraction. Xx

 

[MummyToAmberx]

^ just want to say not everyone does get break between contractions. Both of my labours when ive came close to being ready to push its constant i get no breaks. Just goes to show how different we all are.

Id just turned 18 when i had my first, i was 100% sure no epi i wanted to be mobile. When i went into labour only had gas and air and could only be mobile as being in bed on my back or side was terrible.

I think in this situation you need to accept yourself going be discomfort and going be pain. Then come day you focus on getting through that pain, rather than worrying how bad that pain is going to get.

You never no you might be lucky lady that doesnt feel much and gets to 10cm very quick.


Top tip is breathing, get this right it helps a lot. Maybe look at water for easing your pain. This is path im looking to take.

 

[Emms818]

Thank you, this has really helped, most people just worry with me with loads of traumatic labour stories which do not help me at all, my cousin had her baby last year at 16 and she said it's the worst, most unbearable pain and there is nothing worse so this has calmed me down a lot, I will remember to take this into account thank you

 

[Mrs HM]

Don't listen to horror stories, remember that most births are low-risk and natural. Yes, there is pain but I firmly believe in mind over matter and if you are determined to avoid pain relief or a particular drug, you can and you will. Stay active and relaxed and don't panic or you will be overwhelmed! You won't know how you'll cope until you get there but labour pain isn't ordinary pain. It's a good pain that is bringing your baby to meet you, so focus on getting through each contraction as a step closer to holding your LO. And remember that it will end at some point, you won't be in labour forever!

 

[dairymomma]

Labor is in it's own category of pain. I'm a certifiable wimp and I've had two natural, med-free labors now (surprised myself really). Early labor is mostly just waiting and yes there's pain but the majority of women will be able to handle the early contractions without medication. It helps if you have a good support system in place. Even my delivery nurses were helping me labor naturally and would always be reminding me to breathe and relax (as best I could) through contractions. If you tense up and fight the pain, your body has to work harder so do whatever makes you relax. Some women like to labor in a birthing tub or in a warm shower for pain relief. Others (like me) like the birthing ball or walking. I also liked my husband pushing on my low back during a contraction as it counter-acted the pain. And once I hit the unbearable stage (transition labor) things moved so fast, I was pushing within an hour and that's another natural pain-reliever.

The biggest thing is to go in thinking "I CAN do this." but don't rule out pain relief if you really need it. I've managed two natural labors so I know I can do it but if I feel like I need something this time, I'm going to get it.

 

[Charlottec]

I was 20 when I had my LO and was certain I didn't want an epidural, but in the end i had one. The little money was 8lbs 10 and back to back but it wasn't half as bad as people made out it would be. I waited til my epidural wore off before i began pushing but i needed it just to take the pain away so i could rest before hand. I don't regret the epidural at all and it hasn't put me off having any more children. Everyone has a different labour, i was in labour almost 22 hours yet my OH's sister was in labour 30 minutes. No matter what the pain is like though, i think most women would say they would go through it all again just for their little ones, i know i would xx

 

[ClairAye]

I was 17 with my first and my labour was awful so let's talk about my second at 19

My labour was 9 hours and for pain relief I had a TENS, warm bath then a small amount of G&A but I pushed mostly on nothing. I find a lot of it is on focus, with my first I was all over the place and exhausted so wanted everything but with my second I focused on everything and I also have a horrible pain threshold! One good tip was do not go 'ah' if you want to make noises with the pain go 'ooh' because as soon as you 'ah' you can't stop! Also breathe! I got by breathing through contractions right up until less than an hour before she was born and it helped a lot! My midwife was amazing though and ignored me asking for more pain relief because she saw that I was actually managing just breathing through the contractions.

 

[littlefishygg]

Thank you, this has really helped, most people just worry with me with loads of traumatic labour stories which do not help me at all, my cousin had her baby last year at 16 and she said it's the worst, most unbearable pain and there is nothing worse so this has calmed me down a lot, I will remember to take this into account thank you

I don't understand why people feel the need to scare pregnant woman about labour, we are stuck now we are going to have to get theses babies out, why make us terrified about it. I have decided I would like to go down the natural water birth route rather than had an epidural and was telling my MIL and she went on to give me step by step descriptions of all 3 of her labours and telling me I should definitely have to get an epidural, my OH had to step him and tell her to stop scaring me.
I have reassured myself with each labour is different and every woman is different and realistically we will have to cope, that baby is going to come out, so I'm just looking forward to the baby as an end goal!

 

[Tillys_Mum]

I think it's completely normal to be scared of something you have never experienced.

I listened to all the horror stories and 100% hand on heart I enjoyed giving birth (I previously read women saying this and thought they were crazy!). My contractions slowly built through the day/night and really weren't that bad until about 5cm dilated (like period cramps until then). At that point I did have an epidural and was a perfect choice for me - no pain but could still feel/move my legs and pushed for only 12 mins.

Good luck with whatever you decide xx