Blaming OHs sperm. . .

[maaybe2010]

This is so awful to think but I'm convinced after TTC for over 12 months that my OHs are to blame

I get regular cycles and no extreme pains or symptoms,

Pretty sure I OV as I get + OPK and a temp rise. . .
( although first month temping )

I've also had a previous pregnany . . . .

I feel so bad for thinking this but I'm in a state of 'It can't be me. . . . '

 

[beanz]

you really should get him to get a test. If he goes to the GP they should be able to refer him. At least then you will know.

 

[MummyIwanabe]

Hiya,

We were in the same boat. I thought in the back of my mind maybe OH may have an issue but we carried on trying and got nothing. I knew I had normal periods, nothing out of the ordinary but still didn't expect it when the OH got his results back. His morphology was low 2% rather than 15% which is classed the norm. It was a shock as we'd done one of those home kits which said he had a good sperm count.

Never had heard of morphology until that point after the SA.

Get your OH to go to doc and do a SA. We got results back within a week and its was good to find out the issue. We're now having ICSI treatment.

Don't panic though, sometimes it's completely normal not to get BFP within a year.

Get the SA and put your mind at ease.

Good luck xxx

 

[maaybe2010]

Thanks ladies

We had our first doctors appointment today

The form says no ejaculation for 48 hours before he produces the 'stuff' they need
I always thought he would have to abstain longer?

xx

 

[wishful think]

hey there,
my dh was told to abstain from for 2 days before his first SA. The results were really bad - very low count and motility. He is going to have his second SA next week and the doc has told us to abstain from for 5 days. I questioned the doc on this as i have read on different websites that after 5 days the sperm gets too old and may be sluggish so we are gonna abstain for 4 days!! Hopefully there will be some improvement with his second SA.

 

[FBbaby]

We had the opposite experience. I fell pg first month ttc. Considering I was then 38 and OH was 41, we were quite surprised. Then I m/c at 5 weeks. We decided to resume ttc straight afterwards, cbfm and all, feeling positive that as we'd fallen pregnant so easiliy once, it shouldn't take too long, but months went by and nothing. I right away assumed the problem was with me. I ovulate early and AF only last 2 days, so expected to find out I had low ovarian reserve. The test came back not great, but not bad. Still, when we went to our FS appointment, we thought for sure he would say it was due to my age, didn't expect for a second that OH SA would be bad since I did fall pg once. Well, we were wrong, all is fine with me, but lowish count and low morphology percentage for OH. We've been ttc for 11 cycles since the m/c and are now on our way to start icsi in June.

All this to say infertility is very unpredictable and the cause not always obvious from the 'symptoms'. It is a good thing you got your OH tested, as the worse is definitely not knowing. As for abstination, ours said abstaining for 3 days. It would seem that abstaining for longer is bad for morphology, less than 2 is bad for overall count, that is if there is a problem to start with.

 

[Springflower]

Hi Ladies

I'm in the same boat, DH has "no normal forms". This doesn't appear to have worried at all (!!). He thinks I'm far too worried about everything. We've been ttc for over a year and have had no luck. He can't understand it when I feel down, something I just want to shout at him but thats horrible and so far I'venaged not to do it! I love him so much just wish he realised that we need to address this instead of pretending everything is fine!

Maaybe2010 - You should definatley get him tested, at least that way you'll know.

 

[maaybe2010]

hey there,
my dh was told to abstain from for 2 days before his first SA. The results were really bad - very low count and motility. He is going to have his second SA next week and the doc has told us to abstain from for 5 days. I questioned the doc on this as i have read on different websites that after 5 days the sperm gets too old and may be sluggish so we are gonna abstain for 4 days!! Hopefully there will be some improvement with his second SA.

Thanks for this hun

Today will be his third day of absaining as we weren't with each other Tuesday and most of Wednesday so I'm hoping he can ring them up and go in tomorrow only thing is it can only be done at 9 or 10 am and he doesn't think he will be able to take that time off work . . . . . .

But I'm sure going in a couple hours late would be allowed for medical purposes

I hope your OHs next SA improves hun

We had the opposite experience. I fell pg first month ttc. Considering I was then 38 and OH was 41, we were quite surprised. Then I m/c at 5 weeks. We decided to resume ttc straight afterwards, cbfm and all, feeling positive that as we'd fallen pregnant so easiliy once, it shouldn't take too long, but months went by and nothing. I right away assumed the problem was with me. I ovulate early and AF only last 2 days, so expected to find out I had low ovarian reserve. The test came back not great, but not bad. Still, when we went to our FS appointment, we thought for sure he would say it was due to my age, didn't expect for a second that OH SA would be bad since I did fall pg once. Well, we were wrong, all is fine with me, but lowish count and low morphology percentage for OH. We've been ttc for 11 cycles since the m/c and are now on our way to start icsi in June.

All this to say infertility is very unpredictable and the cause not always obvious from the 'symptoms'. It is a good thing you got your OH tested, as the worse is definitely not knowing. As for abstination, ours said abstaining for 3 days. It would seem that abstaining for longer is bad for morphology, less than 2 is bad for overall count, that is if there is a problem to start with.

Sorry for your loss hun
I think we might end up 3days
This is his third day so hopefully he could get one done for tomorrow

Hi Ladies

I'm in the same boat, DH has "no normal forms". This doesn't appear to have worried at all (!!). He thinks I'm far too worried about everything. We've been ttc for over a year and have had no luck. He can't understand it when I feel down, something I just want to shout at him but thats horrible and so far I'venaged not to do it! I love him so much just wish he realised that we need to address this instead of pretending everything is fine!

Maaybe2010 - You should definatley get him tested, at least that way you'll know.

Hi Springflower :wave:

I'm sure I just read a post by you about this

I know exactly what you mean. . .
I'm scared I'm gona throw it in his face in an argument or something
I can get a bit bitchy when we argue

Mine wasn't too keen on going the doctors at first
And is now saying we've been to the doctors now and you've ovulated this month so all we should do is just wait, nothing we can do now.
Yes this makes sense, to normal people not people TTC!! lol

 

[Springflower]

Hi Maaybe2010

Exactly!! I don't think my DH has realised I'm no longer a normal person and TTC has turned me into a monster!

You probably have read a post of mine about sperm - I'm doing enough obessesing for my DH and I!!

Good luck for this month, I'm on cd1 today. Am now over my dissappointed and am waiting to "try" again!

 

[subaru555]

There may be nothing wrong with either of you.

Sometimes there is just no reason why even when everything is working perfectly

 

[maaybe2010]

Thanks hun, I do hope so

 

[wishful think]

We had the opposite experience. I fell pg first month ttc. Considering I was then 38 and OH was 41, we were quite surprised. Then I m/c at 5 weeks. We decided to resume ttc straight afterwards, cbfm and all, feeling positive that as we'd fallen pregnant so easiliy once, it shouldn't take too long, but months went by and nothing. I right away assumed the problem was with me. I ovulate early and AF only last 2 days, so expected to find out I had low ovarian reserve. The test came back not great, but not bad. Still, when we went to our FS appointment, we thought for sure he would say it was due to my age, didn't expect for a second that OH SA would be bad since I did fall pg once. Well, we were wrong, all is fine with me, but lowish count and low morphology percentage for OH. We've been ttc for 11 cycles since the m/c and are now on our way to start icsi in June.

All this to say infertility is very unpredictable and the cause not always obvious from the 'symptoms'. It is a good thing you got your OH tested, as the worse is definitely not knowing. As for abstination, ours said abstaining for 3 days. It would seem that abstaining for longer is bad for morphology, less than 2 is bad for overall count, that is if there is a problem to start with.

Hey FBbaby, my ttc history is very similar to yours. I started ttc in April '09 and in July '09 found out i was pregnant but about 4 days later i miscarried. Since then we have had no joy getting preggers and during this time when we were getting all the tests done we found out about dh's low sperm count and motility with his first SA. I just cant understand how we succeeded in getting pregnant once and now month after month we are left sooooo disappointed. I didnt do anything different that month, like stand on my head on anythin LOL. Were u told that icsi was your only option??? We have to wait until June (thats when i go back to my gyne) to see what will happen next. I hate all this waiting

 

[DragonMummy]

the quality of the boys deteriorates after 48 hours, which is why you should make sure he always clears them out every other day, keep them tip top fresh. if you save them up they go stale.

 

[FBbaby]

wishful think, I can't believe how similar our situations are. Did you get people telling you too after the m/c that at least you knew you could get pregnant? I remember at the time getting annoyed with this comment because there are no such full assurance, but still I recall as clearly as water the conversation with OH when we said that at least we knew his swimmers were ok.

I think that's what hurt the most, that amongst all the incertainties, the one thing that failed us is the one we didn't worry about. My first thought when the FS told us the results of the SA was how cruel nature had been making us believe that having a baby together was around the corner when in reality, we were million miles away from it.

I am not totally certain the true reason for FS to recommend icsi. 1- the results of the SA, 2- the fact that i am 39 and that the longer we wait, the lesser my chances of being able to fall pg, or 3- the fact that he is the clinical director of the private clinic where we would be going... probably a bit of the three.

We've decided to go for it because we both agree we don't want to live with regrets that we didn't try. We will not be elligible for NHS funding as I already have two children from a previous relationship. Still we continue to try every month. It did happen therefore it is possible and I know even though he doesn't say OH thinks it will happen again naturally. How 'bad' was you OH results? OH count was just a bit low at 18mil but with motility at 65%, the overall result wasn't too bad. What failed us was the morphology at 4%. He is doing another test in a couple of weeks, but reality is that I haven't fallen pregnant in 11 cycles of normal ovulation and bding at the right time, so it is unlikely the results will be any better.

Good luck for your appointment in June. Is your OH doing another test in the meantime?

DragonMummy, congratulations on your pg. Can't believe what you've been through the past week! Crossing all my fingers all will be well

 

[wishful think]

Hi FBbaby, my dh's SA result was fairly bad - count was only 2.7 mil and motility was 11%. Nothing was mentioned about morphology so we hope that that was normal. Dh is going for his second SA next week so fingers crossed that quitting the smokes and taking vitamins have improved his swimmers. I got all of that too - "Well at least u know your dh can get u pregnant", but to be honest I said it myself too!! Never in a million years did i think his swimmers were having problems. I thought the problems lay with me cause my periods are all over the place (there may still be issues with me but i'm not back with my gyne until June and then i'm gonna insist that they test me further). I have an 11 year old daughter from a previous relationship and now that the docs see a reason for not conceiving - that is my dh's swimmers - they have put my symptoms on the back burner!!!! Best of luck with icsi. When is that gonna happen for u? My doc had mentioned iui, so we will just have to wait and see