Oh my god. I honestly don't know what is wrong with me (so I'm blaming the hormones!)
I'm currently in tears! Why? Firstly in case this pregnancy isn't successful. Secondly, in case it is!!! I want to his baby so much but it just dawned in me that it will completely change my life, meaning my relationship with my dd. I just realised that if all goes well, 'we' only have seven more months left. And I've wasted the last month and a half by lounging on the sofa in a state of complete apathy, TV on, patience dwindling and the poor little thing has no idea why or what is about to happen to her world!
My aim is to be a gentle/attachment/responsive parent but I don't always achieve that as well as I want to and the last few weeks haven't been my best... I've been exhausted and less giving than usual. And I feel bad.
And I'm remembering our first few baby bubble weeks together and realising I won't be able to do that for number two. And feeling bad already!
And tonight dh said he still isn't feeling well and hasn't been for three weeks... Thinks he's just run down. I know it's because he's doing too much. I'm a sahm and he works and helps at home and does lots with lg at the weekends but he's been doing much more lately to let me rest (and sometimes I just enjoy being alone and watch greys anatomy rather than sleep) so I said, "you're doing too much. Stop doing the laundry and so on" and he said, "but it needs to be done - it won't be done otherwise" so now I'm feeling guilty about that too.
I'm basically thinking, 'I'm not being the mum or wife I want to be now so how the Hell am I going to cope when baby arrives? And am I being selfish by having another baby when it's going to impact nods and dh's lives so much?'. Either that or I'm panicking something is going wrong!
I'm taking it as a good sign that my hormones are doing what they should but I forgot what an emotional roller coaster pregnancy is (the worrying thing is I only remember it getting worse and crying about a curry not being spicy enough at 7 months which I don't think would tip me over the edge at the minute!)
Please tell me I'm not alone in my craziness, my guilt about first baby, guilt about second baby or general fears
Crazy k.x
I'm currently in tears! Why? Firstly in case this pregnancy isn't successful. Secondly, in case it is!!! I want to his baby so much but it just dawned in me that it will completely change my life, meaning my relationship with my dd. I just realised that if all goes well, 'we' only have seven more months left. And I've wasted the last month and a half by lounging on the sofa in a state of complete apathy, TV on, patience dwindling and the poor little thing has no idea why or what is about to happen to her world!
My aim is to be a gentle/attachment/responsive parent but I don't always achieve that as well as I want to and the last few weeks haven't been my best... I've been exhausted and less giving than usual. And I feel bad.
And I'm remembering our first few baby bubble weeks together and realising I won't be able to do that for number two. And feeling bad already!
And tonight dh said he still isn't feeling well and hasn't been for three weeks... Thinks he's just run down. I know it's because he's doing too much. I'm a sahm and he works and helps at home and does lots with lg at the weekends but he's been doing much more lately to let me rest (and sometimes I just enjoy being alone and watch greys anatomy rather than sleep) so I said, "you're doing too much. Stop doing the laundry and so on" and he said, "but it needs to be done - it won't be done otherwise" so now I'm feeling guilty about that too.
I'm basically thinking, 'I'm not being the mum or wife I want to be now so how the Hell am I going to cope when baby arrives? And am I being selfish by having another baby when it's going to impact nods and dh's lives so much?'. Either that or I'm panicking something is going wrong!
I'm taking it as a good sign that my hormones are doing what they should but I forgot what an emotional roller coaster pregnancy is (the worrying thing is I only remember it getting worse and crying about a curry not being spicy enough at 7 months which I don't think would tip me over the edge at the minute!)
Please tell me I'm not alone in my craziness, my guilt about first baby, guilt about second baby or general fears
Crazy k.x
