BLW failure :( Need tips please!

[magicvw]

I was really looking forward to doing BLW with Eddie. I went the puree route (mostly shop bought too ) with Poppy and she is now a terrible eater and suffers badly from constipation as she won't eat her fruit and veggies

Anyway, I thought BLW was brilliant and was happy to wait till 6 months before getting Eddie started on solids at all, but at 4 months he decided milk wasn't enough.
We had several days of draining his bedtime bottle and crying for more, waking for night feeds after he had been sleeping through 12 hours, lots of lip smacking and grabbing for food - all the signs.

I decided to try him on plain baby rice - if it would fill him up, and it worked - he was much more satisfied. Still having 5 x 9oz bottles a day plus the rice. The rice portions got bigger each day - he's a big lad!

At 6 months I tried to introduce BLW type foods - banana, toast. Leaving them on his tray he ignored them, so I put them in his hands - still ignores them. And so it goes on. I can't get him to pick up ANYTHING and put it near his mouth (although he's quite capable of doing that with his toys!)

What am I doing wrong? How can I get him to start doing this? If I pop something in his mouth it's ok, he eats it, but he will not grab for things himself! I am now doing purees and mash because he needs the food. There is no way that milk alone would satisfy him. He is a whole 2kg heavier than my daughter was at that age.

Sorry for the long post - I feel like such a failure! I really wanted BLW to work for us but it looks like purees all the way!

 

[Lu28]

Hon you're not a failure at all! BLW is going exactly as it should at the moment! It takes babies a while to learn to pick up food and put it in their mouths, it won't happen over night. Unfortunately it just takes a bit of patience and there's nothing you can do really to speed the process along except keep offering to the food as often as you can. I had started Aisling on purees before switching to BLW and also worried she was hungry because she didnt' have the skills to BLW. So I'd leave her with the food in front of her while we ate and then helped her afterwards, usually by holding the food for her if she wouldn't hold it herself, then when she'd do this but wouldn't pick it up, I'd hand it to her instead. It took a while but we got there and I'm so glad now we stuck it out

Feel free to pop onto the BLW support thread in the stickies if you ever want advice and support

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

If that's failure, then I am a failure too! Ruby isn't very good at picking most foods up, she ends up chasing it round the table, so I hold it in front of her and she grabs it from me. I don't actually put things into her hand for her, if she doesn't grab it from me then I leave it as she's obv not interested. I figure that as long as she does try to pick the foods up, she is getting practice, and her skills will eventually develop. She has learned to chew and swallow quite well already, but is not always very interested in the food I offer so eats very little. (I don't give any purees).
Eddie is only just over 6 months so it's way too early to say that BLW isn't working for you, although he has been having solids for a while, in BLW terms it is still really early days as it relies on them reaching developmental milestones that occur 'around' 6 months, so not every baby is even ready for BLW at 6 months anyway.
As Lu says, feel free to pop into the BLW support thread at the top, I find it really helpful to chat with the other girls and they have some really good ideas.

 

[faille]

It can take so much patience and trust in yourself and in your baby to really start seeing the effects of BLW.

Violet is so nosey so anything that comes within a foot of her she has a good nose at so we've never had the problem with her not paying the food any interest..!

But the way to think of it when starting out, is that food is a toy to them. They don't know what it is. They don't know they should be picking it up and eating it.

Only thing I can suggest is keep on giving him solid food (if he needs his puree then give him that first so he doesn't get frustrated) and give him a bit of whatever you're eating so that he can see and copy what you do.

You just need a lot of patience and trust... The more opportunities given, the more likely it is he'll figure it out and start showing interest.

Like the other ladies have said, pop into the sticky for some reassurance that it doesn't always go how it's "meant to"!

 

[magicvw]

Thanks very much!! That makes me feel a lot better. I suppose I just have to persevere...

My worry was that, because I am doing purees for his hunger, that he would become lazy and used to being spoonfed and not chewing (although I do have big lumps in my mash whether intended or not! lol!)

Also he never eats with us, because we have dinner well past his bedtime (DH works till 10pm). I don't eat much for lunch - just soup or a sarnie. He eats his meals with Poppy but she isn't exactly a good role model and even at 3.5 I have to spoon/fork feed her half of the time as she can't manage. So I was wondering if that would make it harder for him.

Mum2b-claire - I think Ruby sounds well advanced of Eddie! He would get no food at all if he had to show interest by grabbing.

Tonight for e.g. I did chicken cakes (like fish cakes but with blended chicken casserole instead of fish lol!) for Poppy and he had the same ingredients but just as puree and not caked up, iyswim.

I put one piece of the solid stuff on his tray and he loved watching Poppy eat hers, but he would not pick up or even touch his, but gobbled up the pureed version. He grabs the bowl so much I have to give him another one, and he tries to eat the bowl, but he won't eat the pieces of real food!

Gonna post a pic:
https://i302.photobucket.com/albums/nn115/magicbabyvw/IMGP1137.jpg

So that's basically it - he will try to eat bowls, spoons, packets of wetwipes you name it, but he won't pick up food! Is this normal? My daughter wasn't like that at all- she just ate off the spoon nice and neat and tidy!

Do you girls have any tips on the best kind of foods to leave on the tray, or is it just kinda random? So you think I should just keep putting bits of stuff out and one day he will just pick it up and try?

Is it ok to put it right in his mouth - I am putting cubes of banana in and he loves them, but I'm worried that I should be letting him explore on his own....

 

[faille]

Lol! I have the same problem with bowls and spoons being faaaar more interesting than any food so I've just stopped using them and put the food straight on her tray now.

You can have breakfast and lunch with Eddie (and if you don't eat properly then now is the perfect time to change! Lead by example and all that )

Personally, I'd just keep putting bits of solid food on his tray as well - he might start showing an interest if you keep him there once he's finished his puree because he'll see it as a new toy iygwim? He won't know it's food and he's probably going for the puree because that's what he knows and he's hungry. He probably won't show any interest in solid food whilst the puree is there and whilst he is hungry because he doesn't know it's the same thing and he doesn't know that the giant piece of chicken is going to fill him up just as much as the mushed up chicken.

It'd be like somebody putting a big black pile of mush on your plate alongside your normal food. They'll swear it's food and it'll fill you up but chances are, you'll still go for what you know!

With regards to putting things in his mouth for him, you should really try not to do that as it's when we interfer (whether it's by putting things in their mouth or by jumping in when they gag) which poses the risk of them choking.

You really need to let them have control of everything with BLW.

Do you have the book by Gill Rapley at all? You'll see it get mentioned a hell of a lot on here but it is good, tells you everything you need to know, what's "normal" and is very reassuring if your LO 'doesn't seem to be doing much'.

 

[magicvw]

OK that makes a lot of sense!

I don't have that book. I looked at a few on Amazon a while back and was not impressed with any of them, from the readers reviews. They seemed to say the books were not aimed at bottle fed babies. I stopped BF at 3 months. Where I live I have to pay double the normal price thru Amazon so I don't buy things unless I'm sure I want them lol! If you recommend it though, I might have another look. Thanks for the tip.

I always eat breakfast and lunch, but at the mo Eddie is not eating at all at breakfast time. May be that would be a good time for him then, since he's not that hungry. I will attempt a morsel of toast tomorrow!

Thanks again - I feel a bit reassured and inspired to keep going!

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

The BLW book we're talking about is equally aimed at BF and FF babies...I bottle feed and so does Faille

 

[abster]

Hiya Magic,
Everything theyr'e saying on here is bang-on! #1 was very unusual in taking to it from day 1. My friend's little one took about 6 weeks to start getting into it (and her big brother's not a good role model either). If Eddie seems interested in what Poppy's having, give him some of the same. Just keep leaving stuff on his tray to supplement any purees he's having. It'll most likely take him a little while to get the hang of it. It may just be that he's not really interested yet. Keep doing what you're doing and things will change - just trust yourself and him - and yes, sharing lunch with him is a very good idea.
As far as eating wipes goes, #1 is now 28 months and she still tries valiantly to eat them!
Try www.babyledweaning.com, which is very good.
Abi x

 

[faille]

Just wanted to add about the book by Gill Rapley... I read the same reviews on Amazon, saying it's not "friendly" for FF babies but tbh, I don't see why they said that!

Them reviews put me off to start with but I kept seeing the same book pop up everywhere so decided to just order it anyway.. I'm glad I did because although it does mention BF and FF, it in no way says that FF LOs can't 'do' BLW or it doesn't 'favour' BF and slag off FF like those reviews imply it does. I don't see why they were complaining to be completely honest

 

[magicvw]

Thanks Faille - I will probably order it. It really annoys me that Amazon not only charge a huge amount for delivery here, but they also then stick VAT on top of the published price and VAT on the bloody postage too! It literally doubles the price. I'll be back in the UK in 4 weeks tho, so I can get a free super saver delivery there yay!!

You girls ROCK!

 

[Lu28]

I saw those reviews on the book too and couldn't understand the problem. All she was saying is that bf babies are used to a variety of flavours due to what mum eats which may help with weaning and they're used tocontrolling how much they drink but there's no reason why a ff baby couldn't have that control too

Magic, I had the exact same issue with Aisling, she would pick up anything and everything and put it in her mouth except food, it used to drive me insane!! She did get there eventually but it was so frustrating at the time

 

[Lisa1302]

I have to say Izzy was never interested in eating with her hands at that age either..she would just mash it up on the food tray.

The way I got her to actually realise that some things she puts in her mouth are edible and to be more interested was to give her a biscuit (one of those Heinz Biscotti, like a finger one) ...but not in her high chair, she was just on the lap and had been playing, and it went straight in and she sucked on it and polished it off.
I think she liked the biscuit because it was easy to hold, got soft easily and actually tasted quite nice!
I am not doing pure BLW by any means, she has home cooked food on a spoon that she has to chew a bit now, but she has easy things like breadsticks, bits of cheese to eat with her hands and she can feed herself with a spoon (til she gets too curious and flicks it off some where) etc.

So basically after my rambling..I am trying to say maybe try giving him something like a biscuit/bread stick when he is playing?

 

[kirsten1985]

magicvw, do you want me to post my Gill Rapley book to you to borrow? You can have a good read and keep it as long as you like, as long as I can have it back in a few years for my next baby!

We only started BLW a few weeks ago, sometimes Freya eats a lot, sometimes nothing. She hasn't eaten anything for about two days now, I think she is teething again. Just keep up with the purees and let him play with other food. He will get the hang of it!

Oh and I bottle feed too

 

[magicvw]

Ah Kirsten that's really sweet of you! It's ok though, I will order it from Amazon. I am a bit of a book worm and get attached to them and never want to give them back! I have a big Mary Berry cookbook here that one of my bulgarian friends borrowed and then he asked me if he could keep it, and he would give me the money for a new one, but I wanted my old food-stained one back! So I bought him the new one. Perhaps I'm just weird.

I gave him a bit of toast this morning and he thought it was hilarious. Nowhere near his mouth, but now I know that's normal, it's ok!

 

[maccy]

Hiya hun..just wanted to come see u in here too..The book is fab and it's what I use and follow with Immy well worth getting...your doing fine hun don't beat yourself up!!!

Keep going with it.....I have noticed big change in Immy in just a couple of weeks.

 

[topcat]

Hi just thought I'd pop in here.
I'm just starting to look at how I'm going to wean Lucy and haven't decided whether to do BLW or the more traditional route.
I bought the Gill Rapley book and the Annabel Karmel (traditional style weaning) books from Amazon. Both are really interesting. I'd say the Gill Rapley one is not negative about FF and is quite open to it - no major focus on BF.
Good luck with it all - I'm quite excited about weaning and I'm sure I'll be having similar dilemmas very soon....
x

 

[Faerie]

Heya hun. Yep, don't get the reviews on amazon, the book talks about both formula and bf, and anyway, I think it's a really useful tool to get going with. Maybe if you order it to a relative's house they could post it with Christmas prezzies?

The first things Sofia had that made her really realize that the funny things I was offering was food was some little organic biscuits and dried apple rings. Before she had picked up carrots but got pissed off with them and chucked them. She also really liked malt bread (soreen, mmm, Mummy's fave) which she insisted on having because I was eating it.

Try having her on you knee sweetie, like others said, and also try eating too

 

[magicvw]

Thanks hun! Mmmmm Malt loaf is my fave too! We won't get any pressies posted out here the postal service is shite and half of it goes missing. At least with Amazon they do send again if the stuff goes astray. We are back in the UK for a week though, so I will def get some stuff sent to pick up. LOL i have never seen anything like organic biscuits in the shops here. I could make some myself though